Volume II Part 19 (1/2)

I am, dear Madam, with inviolable respect, your ever obliged and faithful humble servant, CHARLES HICKMAN.

LETTER XXIII

MRS. HOWE, TO CHARLES HICKMAN, ESQ. THURSDAY, MARCH 30.

I cannot but say, Mr. Hickman, but you have cause to be dissatisfied--to be out of humour--to be displeased--with Nancy--but, upon my word; but indeed--What shall I say?--Yet this I will say, that you good young gentlemen know nothing at all of our s.e.x. Shall I tell you--but why should I? And yet I will, that if Nancy did not think well of you upon the main, she is too generous to treat you so freely as she does.--Don't you think she has courage enough to tell me, she would not see you, and to refuse at any time seeing you, as she knows on what account you come, if she had not something in her head favourable to you?--Fie! that I am forced to say thus much in writing, when I have hinted it to you twenty and twenty times by word of mouth!

But if you are so indifferent, Mr. Hickman--if you think you can part with her for her skittish tricks--if my interest in your favour--Why, Mr. Hickman, I must tell you that my Nancy is worth bearing with. If she be foolish--what is that owing to?--Is it not to her wit? Let me tell you, Sir, you cannot have the convenience without the inconvenience.

What workman loves not a sharp tool to work with? But is there not more danger from a sharp tool than from a blunt one? And what workman will throw away a sharp tool, because it may cut his fingers? Wit may be likened to a sharp tool. And there is something very pretty in wit, let me tell you. Often and often have I been forced to smile at her arch turns upon me, when I could have beat her for them. And, pray, don't I bear a great deal from her?--And why? because I love her. And would you not wish me to judge of your love for her by my own? And would not you bear with her?--Don't you love her (what though with another sort of love?) as well as I do? I do a.s.sure you, Sir, that if I thought you did not--Well, but it is plain that you don't!--And is it plain that you don't?--Well, then, you must do as you think best.

Well might the merit of your pa.s.sion be doubted, you say, if, like Mr.

Solmes--fiddle-faddle!--Why, you are a captious man, I think!--Has Nancy been so plain in her repulses of you as Miss Clary Harlowe has been to Mr. Solmes?--Does Nancy love any man better than you, although she may not shew so much love to you as you wish for?--If she did, let me tell you, she would have let us all hear of it.--What idle comparisons then!

But it mat be you are tired out. It may be you have seen somebody else--it may be you would wish to change mistresses with that gay wretch Mr. Lovelace. It may be too, that, in that case, Nancy would not be sorry to change lovers--The truly-admirable Miss Clarissa Harlowe!--Good lack!-but take care, Mr. Hickman, that you do not praise any woman living, let her be as admirable and as excellent as she will, above your own mistress. No polite man will do that, surely. And take care too, that you do not make her or me think you are in earnest in your anger--just though it may be, as anger only--I would not for a thousand pounds, that Nancy should know that you can so easily part with her, if you have the love for her which you declare you have. Be sure, if you are not absolutely determined, that you do not so much as whisper the contents of this your letter to your own heart, as I may say.

Her treatment of you, you say, does no credit either to her education or fine sense. Very home put, truly! Nevertheless, so say I. But is not hers the disgrace, more than yours? I can a.s.sure you, that every body blames her for it. And why do they blame her?--Why? because they think you merit better treatment at her hands: And is not this to your credit?

Who but pities you, and blames he? Do the servants, who, as you observe, see her skittish airs, disrespect you for them? Do they not, at such times, look concerned for you? Are they not then doubly officious in their respects and services to you?--I have observed, with pleasure, that they are.

But you are afraid you shall be thought tame, perhaps, when married.

That you shall not be though manly enough, I warrant!--And this was poor Mr. Howe's fear. And many a tug did this lordly fear cost us both, G.o.d knows!--Many more than needed, I am sure:--and more than ought to have been, had he known how to bear and forbear; as is the duty of those who pretend to have most sense--And, pray, which would you have to have most sense, the woman or the man?

Well, Sir, and now what remains, if you really love Nancy so well as you say you do?--Why, I leave that to you. You may, if you please, come to breakfast with me in the morning. But with no full heart, nor resenting looks, I advise you; except you can brave it out. That have I, when provoked, done many a time with my husband, but never did I get any thing by it with my daughter: much less will you. Of which, for your observation, I thought fit to advise you. As from

Your friend, Anabella Howe.

LETTER XXIV

MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE THURSDAY MORNING.

I will now take some notice of your last favour. But being so far behind-hand with you, must be brief.

In the first place, as to your reproofs, thus shall I discharge myself of that part of my subject. Is it likely, think you, that I should avoid deserving them now-and-then, occasionally, when I admire the manner in which you give me your rebukes, and love you the better for them? And when you are so well ent.i.tled to give them? For what faults can you possibly have, unless your relations are so kind as to find you a few to keep their many in countenance?--But they are as king to me in this, as to you; for I may venture to affirm, That any one who should read your letters, and would say you were right, would not on reading mine, condemn me for them quite wrong.

Your resolution not to leave your father's house is right--if you can stay in it, and avoid being Solmes's wife.

I think you have answered Solmes's letter, as I should have answered it.--Will you not compliment me and yourself at once, by saying, that was right?

You have, in your letters to your uncle and the rest, done all that you ought to do. You are wholly guiltless of the consequence, be it what it will. To offer to give up your estate!--That would not I have done! You see this offer staggered them: they took time to consider of it. They made my heart ache in the time they took. I was afraid they would have taken you at your word: and so, but for shame, and for fear of Lovelace, I dare say they would. You are too n.o.ble for them. This, I repeat, is an offer I would not have made. Let me beg of you, my dear, never to repeat the temptation to them.

I freely own to you, that their usage of you upon it, and Lovelace's different treatment of you* in his letter received at the same time, would have made me his, past redemption. The duce take the man, I was going to say, for not having so much regard to his character and morals, as would have entirely justified such a step in a CLARISSA, persecuted as she is!

* See Letter XVIII.