Volume I Part 36 (2/2)
The maid brought me this answer. I had recourse to my pen and ink; but I trembled so, that I could not write, nor knew what to say, had I steadier fingers. At last Betty brought me these lines from my father.
UNDUTIFUL AND PERVERSE CLARISSA,
No condescension, I see, will move you. Your mother shall not see you; nor will I. Prepare however to obey. You know our pleasure. Your uncle Antony, your brother, and your sister, and your favourite Mrs. Norton, shall see the ceremony performed privately at your uncle's chapel. And when Mr. Solmes can introduce you to us, in the temper we wish to behold you in, we may perhaps forgive his wife, although we never can, in any other character, our perverse daughter. As it will be so privately performed, clothes and equipage may be provided for afterwards. So prepare to go to your uncle's for an early day in next week. We will not see you till all is over: and we will have it over the sooner, in order to shorten the time of your deserved confinement, and our own trouble in contending with such a rebel, as you have been of late. I will hear no pleas, I will receive no letter, nor expostulation. Nor shall you hear from me any more till you have changed your name to my liking. This from
Your incensed Father.
If this resolution be adhered to, then will my father never see me more!--For I will never be the wife of that Solmes--I will die first--!
TUESDAY EVENING.
He, this Solmes, came hither soon after I had received my father's letter. He sent up to beg leave to wait upon me--I wonder at his a.s.surance--!
I said to Betty, who brought me this message, let him restore an unhappy creature to her father and mother, and then I may hear what he has to say. But, if my friends will not see me on his account, I will not see him upon his own.
I hope, Miss, said Betty, you will not send me down with this answer. He is with you papa and mamma.
I am driven to despair, said I. I cannot be used worse. I will not see him.
Down she went with my answer. She pretended, it seems, to be loth to repeat it: so was commanded out of her affected reserves, and gave it in its full force.
O how I heard my father storm!
They were altogether, it seems, in his study. My brother was for having me turned out of the house that moment, to Lovelace, and my evil destiny. My mother was pleased to put in a gentle word for me: I know not what it was: but thus she was answered--My dear, this is the most provoking thing in the world in a woman of your good sense!--To love a rebel, as well as if she were dutiful. What encouragement for duty is this?--Have I not loved her as well as ever you did? And why am I changed! Would to the Lord, your s.e.x knew how to distinguis.h.!.+ It is plain, that she relies upon her power over you. The fond mother ever made a hardened child!
She was pleased, however, to blame Betty, as the wench owned, for giving my answer its full force. But my father praised her for it.
The wench says, that he would have come up in his wrath, at my refusing to see Mr. Solmes, had not my brother and sister prevailed upon him to the contrary.
I wish he had!--And, were it not for his own sake, that he had killed me!
Mr. Solmes condescended [I am mightily obliged to him truly!] to plead for me.
They are all in tumults! How it will end, I know not--I am quite weary of life--So happy, till within these few weeks!--So miserable now!
Well, indeed, might my mother say, that I should have severe trials.*
* See Letter XXV.
P.S. The idiot [such a one am I treated like!] is begged, as I may say, by my brother and sister. They have desired, that I may be consigned over entirely to their management. If it be granted, [it is granted, on my father's part, I understand, but not yet on my mother's,] what cruelty may I not expect from their envy, jealousy, and ill-will!--I shall soon see, by its effects, if I am to be so consigned. This is a written intimation privately dropt in my wood-house walk, by my cousin Dolly Hervey. The dear girl longs to see me, she tells me: but is forbidden till she see me as Mrs. Solmes, or as consenting to be his. I will take example by their perseverance!--Indeed I will--!
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