Part 43 (1/2)
”Wall, mom,” says he, with that stiddy, determined way of hisen, ”a feller that you have had for 20 years must be out of gear by this time.”
”Out of gear!” says I, speakin' up sharp. ”You will be out of gear yourself, young man, if I hear any more such talk out of your head.”
”I hope you will excuse me, mom,” says he, in that patient way of hisen.
”It hain't my way to run down anybody's else's fellers.”
”Wall, I guess you hadn't better try it again in this house,” says I warmly. ”I guess it won't be very healthy for you.”
[Ill.u.s.tration: AGENT TRYING TO SELL SAMANTHA A FELLER.]
”Can't I sell you some other attachment, mom? I have got 'em of all kinds.”
”Sell me another attachment? No, sir. You can't sell me another attachment. My attachment is as firm and endurin' as the rocks, and has always been, and is one not to be bought and sold.”
”I presume yours was good in the day of 'em, mom, but they must be old- fas.h.i.+oned. I have the very best and newest attachments of all kinds. But I make a specialty of my fellers. You'd better let me sell you a feller, mom.”
I declare for't, my first thought was, to turn him right outdoors, and shet the door in his face. And then agin, I thought, I am a member of the meetin'-house. I must be patient and long sufferin', and may be here is a chance for me to do good. Thinks'es I, if I was ever eloquent in a good cause, I must be now. I must convince him of the nefariousness of his conduct. And if soarin' in eloquence can do it, why, I must soar. And so I begun.
Says I, wavin' my right hand in a broad, soarin', eloquent wave, ”Young man, when you talk about buyin' and sellin' a feller, you are talkin' on a solemn subject,-buyin and sellin' attachments! Buyin' and sellin' fellers! It hain't nothin' new to me. I've hearn tell of such things, but little did I suppose it was a subject I should ever be tackled on.
”But I have hearn of it. I have hearn of wimmen sellin' themselves to the highest bidder, with a minister for auctioneer and salesman. I have hearn of fathers and mothers sellin' beauty and innocence and youth to wicked old age for money-sellin' 'em right in the meetin'-house, under the very shadow of the steeple.
[Ill.u.s.tration: THEM THAT SELL DOVES.]
”Jerusalem hain't the only village where G.o.d's holy temple has been polluted by money-changers and them that sell doves. Many a sweet little dove of a girl is made by her father and mother, and other old money- changers, to walk up to G.o.d's holy altar, and swear to a lie. They think her tellin' that lie, makes the infamous bargain more sacred, makes the infamous life they have drove her into more respectable.
”There was One who cleansed from such accursed traffic the old Jewish temples, but He walks no more with humanity. If he did, would he not walk up the broad aisles of our orthodox churches in American cities, and release these doves, and overthrow the plots of these money-changers?
”But let me tell 'em, that though they can't see Him, He is there; and the lash of His righteous wrath will surely descend, not upon their bodies, but upon their guilty souls, teachin' them how much more terrible it is to sell a life, with all its rich dowery of freedom, happiness, purity, immortality.”
Here my breath gin out, for I had used my very deepest principle tone; and it uses up a fearful ammount of wind, and is tuckerin' beyend what any one could imagine of tucker. You have to stop to collect breath.
And he looked at me with that same stiddy, patient, modest look of hisen; and says he, in that low, determined voice,-
”What you say, madam, is very true, and even beautiful and eloquent: but time is valuable to me; and as I said, I stopped here this morning to see if I could sell”-
”I know you did: I heard you with my own ears. If it had come through two or three, or even one, pair of ears besides my own, I couldn't have believed 'em-I never could have believed that any human creeter, male or female, would have dared to stand up before me, and try to sell me a feller! Sell a feller to me! Why, even in my young days, do you s'pose I would ever try to buy a feller?
”No, sir! fellers must come free and spontaneous? or not at all. Never was I the woman to advance one step towards any feller in the way of courts.h.i.+p-havin' no occasion for it, bein' one that had more offers than I knew what to do with, as I often tell my husband, Josiah Allen, now, in our little differences of opinion. 'Time and agin,' as I tell him, 'I might have married, but held back.' And never would I have married, never, had not love gripped holt of my very soul, and drawed me along up to the marriage alter. I loved the feller I married, and he was the only feller in the hull world for me.”
Says he in that low, gentle tone, and lookin' modest and patient as a lily, but as determined and sot as ever a iron teakettle was sot over a stove,-
”You are under a mistake, mom.”
Says I, ”Don't you tell me that agin if you know what is good for yourself. I guess I know my own mind. I was past the age of whifflin', and foolin' round. I married that feller from pure love, and no other reason under the heavens. For there wuzn't any other reason only jest that, why I should marry him.”
And for a moment, or two moments, my mind roamed back onto that old, mysterious question that has haunted me more or less through my natural life, for over twenty years. Why did I marry Josiah Allen? But I didn't revery on it long. I was too agitated, and wrought up; and I says agin, in tones witherin' enough to wither him,-
”The idee of sellin' me a feller!”
But the chap didn't look withered a mite: he stood there firm and immovible, and says he,-