Part 12 (1/2)

I wus some in hopes that he might give up the idee of bein' United-States senator, and I might have rest from my tower; for I dreaded, oh, how I dreaded, the job! But as day by day pa.s.sed, he grew more and more rampant with the idee. He talked about it all the time daytimes; and in the night I could hear him murmur to himself,-

”Hon. Josiah Allen!”

And once I see it in his account-book, ”Old Peed.i.c.k debtor to two sap- buckets to Hon. Josiah Allen.”

And he talked sights, and sights, about what he wus goin' to do when he got to Was.h.i.+ngton, D.C.-what great things he wus goin' to do. And I would get wore out, and say to him,-

”Wall! you will have to get there first.”

”Oh! you needn't worry. I can get there easy enough. I s'pose I shall have to work hard jest as they all do. But as I told you before, if every thing else fails, I have got a grand plan to fall back on-sunthin' new and uneek. Josiah Allen is n.o.body's fool, and the nation will find it out so.”

Then, oh, how I urged him to tell his plan to his lovin' pardner! but he wouldn't tell.

But hours and hours would he spend, a tellin' me what great things he wus goin' to do when he got to Was.h.i.+ngton.

Says he, ”There is one thing about it. When I get to be United-States senator, uncle Nate Gowdey shall be promoted to some high and responsible place.”

”Without thinkin' whether he is fit for it or not?” says I.

”Yes, mom, without thinkin' a thing about it. I am bound to help the ones that help me.”

”You wouldn't have him examined,” says I,-”wouldn't have him asked no questions?”

”Oh, yes! I'd have him pa.s.s a examination jest as the New-York aldermen do, or the civil-service men. I'd say to him, 'Be you uncle Nate Gowdey?'

”'Yes.'

”'How long have you been uncle Nate Gowdey?'

”And he'd answer; and I'd say,-

”'How long do you calculate to be uncle Nate?'

”And he'll tell; and then I'll say,-

”'Enough: I see you have all the qualifications for office. You are admitted.' That is what I would do.”

I groaned. But he kep' on complacently, ”I am goin' to help the ones that elect me, sink or swim; and I calculate to make money out of the project, -money and honor. And I shall do a big work there,-there hain't no doubt of it.

”Now, there is political economy. I shall go in strong for that. I shall say right to Congress, the first speech I make to it, I shall say, that there is too much money spent now to hire votes with; and I shall prove it right out, that we can get votes cheaper if we senators all join in together, and put our feet right down that we won't pay only jest so much for a vote. But as long as one man is willin' to pay high, why, everybody else has got to foller suit. And there hain't no economy in it, not a mite.

”Then, there is the ca.n.a.l question. I'll make a thorough end of that.

There is one reform that will be pushed right through.”

”How will you do it?” says I.

”I will have the hull ca.n.a.l cleaned out from one end to the other.”

”I was readin' only yesterday,” says I, ”about the corruption of the ca.n.a.l question. But I didn't s'pose it meant that.”

”That is because you hain't a man. You hain't got the mind to grasp these big questions. The corruption of the ca.n.a.l means that the bottom of the ca.n.a.l is all covered with dead cats and things; and it ort to be seen to, by men that is capable of seein' to such things. It ort to be cleaned out. And I am the man that has got the mind for it,” says he proudly.