Part 20 (1/2)
Dearest Kitty, Mr Broks was in Beverwijk and et hold of strawberries at the produce auction They arrived here dusty and full of sand, but in large quantities No less than twenty-four crates for the office and us That very saht jars of ja jam for the office
At twelve-thirty the outside door was locked, crates were lugged into the kitchen, with Peter, Father and Mr van Daan stuot hot water froot””,went for a bucket, all hands on deck! With a funny feeling in my stomach, I entered the overcrowded office kitchen Miep, Bep, Mr Kleient and the Supply Corps all ether, and that in the middle of the day! Curtains and s open, loud voices, banging doors-I was tre, ”Are we really in hiding?” This o out into the world again The pan was full, so I dashed upstairs, where the rest of the fa strawberries around the kitchen table At least that's what they were supposed to be doing, butinto their mouths than into the buckets They were bound to need another bucket soon Peter went back downstairs, but then the doorbell rang twice Leaving the bucket where it was, Peter raced upstairs and shut the bookcase behind hi our heels i to be rinsed, but we stuck to the house rule: ”No running water when strangers are downstairs-they ht hear the drains”
Jan came up at one to tell us it had been thethe doorbell, about-face I listened to hear if anyone was co first at the bookcase, then at the top of the stairs Finally Peter and I leaned over the banister, straining our ears like a couple of burglars to hear the sounds from downstairs No unfamthar voices Peter tip- toed halfway down the stairs and called out, ”Bep!”
Once more: ”Bep!” His voice was drowned out by the racket in the kitchen So he ran down to the kitchen while I nervously kept watch from above ”Go upstairs at once, Peter, the accountant's here, you've got to leave!” It was Mr Kugler's voice Sighing, Peter caler finally caosh, the whole world's turned to strawberries I had strawber- ries for breakfast, Jan's having die theo I coet away fro strawberries!”
The rest of the strawberries were canned That evening: two jars came unsealed Father quickly turned the: two more lids popped up; and that afternoon: four lids Mr van Daan hadn't gotten the jars hot enough when he was sterthzing the We ate hot cereal with strawberries, buttermilk with strawberries, bread with strawberries, strawberries for dessert, straw- berries with sugar, strawberries with sand For two days there was nothing but strawberries, strawberries, strawberries, and then our supply was either exhausted or in jars, safely under lock and key
”Hey, Anne,” Margot called out one day, ”Mrs van Hoeven has let us have some peas, twenty pounds!”
”That's nice of her,” I replied And it certainly was, but it's so ot to shell peas,” Mother announced at the table And sure enough, this est enamel pan appeared on the table, filled to the bri work, you ought to try res I don't think s, the pods are soft, delicious and rich in vitaet nearly three ti pods is a precise and ht be suited to pedantic dentists or finicky spice experts, but it's a horror for an ier like me We started work at nine-thirty; I sat down at ten-thirty, got Up again at eleven, sat down again at eleven-thirty My ears were hu refrain: snap the end, strip the pod, pull the string, pod in the pan, snap the end, strip the pod, pull the string, pod in the pan, etc, etc My eyes were swireen To fight the boredo whatever cah TheI pulled made me more certain that I never, ever, want to be just a housewife!
At twelve we finally ate breakfast, but froain When I stopped, I felt a bit seasick, and so did the others I napped until four, still in a daze because of those wretched peas Yours, Anne M Frank
SAturdAY, JULY 15,1944
Dearest Kitty, We've received a book fro title What Do You Think of the Modern Young Girl? I'd like to discuss this subject today The writer criticizes ”today's youth” fro them all as ”hopeless cases” On the contrary, she believes they have it within their power to build a bigger, better and more beautiful world, but that they occupy theht to true beauty In so that the writer was directing her disapproval at me, which is why I finally want to bare ainst this attack
I have one outstanding character trait that th of ti I do, I can watch er I can stand c across fro excuses, watch what she's doing, both the good and the bad This self-awareness never leaves me, and every time I open my mouth, I think, ”You should have said that differently” or ”That's fine the way it is” I conde to realize the truth of Father's adage: ”Every child has to raise itself” Parents can only advise their children or point theht direction Ultimately, people shape their own characters In addition, I face life with an extraordinary a burdens, so young and free! When I first realized this, I was glad, because it means I can more easily withstand the blows life has in store But I've talked about these things so often Now I'd like to turn to the chapter ”Father and Mother Don't Understand Me” My parents have always spoiled ainst the van Daans and done all that parents can And yet for the longest tilected andhe could to curb my rebellious spirit, but it was no use I've curedat what I was doing wrong
Why didn't Father support le? Why did he fall short when he tried to offerthrough a difficult phase It sounds crazy, since Father's the only one who's given me a sense of confidence and made me feel as if I': he failed to see that this struggle to triumph overelse I didn't want to hear about ”typical adolescent problerow out of it” I didn't want to be treated the saht, and rim didn't understand that Besides, I can't confide in anyone unless they tell me a lot about theet on arim always acts like the elderly father who once had the saer relate to me as a friend, no matter how hard he tries As a result, I've never shared -pondered theories with anyone buthaving to do with me from Father, never shared my ideals with him, deliberately alienated myself from him
I couldn't have done it any other way I've let otistical, but I've done as best for my own peace of mind I would lose that, plus the self-confidence I've worked so hard to achieve, if I were to be subjected to criticish the job It may sound hard-hearted, but I can't take criticism from rihts with hi irritable
This is a point I think about quite often: why is it that rim annoys me so much sometimes? I can hardly bear to have him tutor me, and his affection seenoredto hiuilt about the mean letter I wrote hi and brave in every way!
Still, this hasn't been reatest disappointment No, I think about Peter much more than I do Father I know very well that he was e of him in my mind, pictured him as a quiet, sweet, sensitive boy badly in need of friendshi+p and love! I needed to pour outperson I wanted a friend ould help ain I accomplished what I set out to do and drew hiot him to be my friend, it automatically developed into an intieous We talked about the s closest to my heart I still can't make head or tail of Peter Is he superficial, or is it shyness that holds hi all that aside, I et closer to hi so, I ruled out other fors to be loved, and I can see he's beginning to like ether leaves hi satisfied, but just ain I never broach the subjects I long to bring out into the open I forced Peter, et close toon for dear life I honestly don't see any effective way of shaking hi him back on his oo feet I soon realized he could never be a kindred spirit, but still tried to help him break out of his narroorld and expand his youthful horizons
”Deep down, the young are lonelier than the old” I read this in a book somewhere and it's stuck in mywhether it's harder for the adults here than for the children, the answer is no, it's certainly not Older people have an opinion about everything and are sure of the people to hold on to our opinions at a ti shattered and destroyed, when the worst side of human nature predominates, when everyone has come to doubt truth, justice and God Anyone who claims that the older folks have a more difficult tireater i to deal with these proble themselves on us until, finally, we're forced to think up a solution, though most of the time our solutions crumble when faced with the facts It's difficult in times like these: ideals, drearim reality It's a wonder I haven't abandoned allto the, that people are truly good at heart
It's utterly impossible forand death I see the world being slowly transfor thunder that, one day, will destroy us too, I feel the suffering of millions And yet, when I look up at the sky, I soe for the better, that this cruelty too shall end, that peace and tranquthty will return once more In the meantime, I must hold on to my ideals Perhaps the day will come when I'll be able to realize them!
Yours, Anne M Frank
FRIDAY, JULY 21, 1944
Dearest Kitty, I' well! They really are! Great news! An assassination attempt has been made on Hitler's life, and for once not by Jewish Coeneral who's not only a count, but young as well The Fuhrer owes his life to ”Divine Providence”: he escaped, unfortunately, with only a few enerals ere nearby were killed or wounded The head of the conspiracy has been shot