Part 12 (1/2)

Yours, Anne PS Thoughts: To Peter

We've beenti about external things, since we're well provided for in that sense; Ifor freedom and fresh air, but I think we've been amply compensated for their loss On the inside, Iin front of theand taking a long, deep look outside at God and nature, I was happy, just plain happy Peter, as long as people feel that kind of happiness within themselves, the joy of nature, health and much more besides, they'll always be able to recapture that happiness

Riches, prestige, everything can be lost But the happiness in your own heart can only be di as you live, tolonely or sad, try going to the loft on a beautiful day and looking outside Not at the houses and the rooftops, but at the sky As long as you can look fearlessly at the sky, you'll know that you're pure within and will find happiness once more

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 1944

My dearest Kitty, Froht, all I do is think about Peter I fall asleep with his ie beforeatthat Peter and I aren't really as different as we may seem on the surface, and I'll explain why: neither Peter nor I have a mother His is too superficial, likes to flirt and doesn't concern herself oes on in his head Mine takes an active interest in my life, but has no tact, sensitivity orwith our inners We're still unsure of ourselves and are too vulnerable, ehly Whenever that happens, I want to run outside or hidethe pots and pans, splash the water and aenerally noisy, so that everyone wishes I were miles away Peter's reaction is to shut himself up, say little, sit quietly and daydrea his true self But how and e finally reach each other?

I don't knounder control

Yours, Anne M Frank

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1944

My dearest Kitty, It's like a night after I'm awake I see him nearly every hour of the day and yet I can't be with him, I can't let the others notice, and I have to pretend to be cheerful, thoughPeter Schiff and Peter van Daan havefor desperately Mother's horrible, Father's nice, which ot's the worst, since she takes advantage offace to claim me for herself, when all I want is to be left alone

Peter didn't join me in the attic, but went up to the loft to do so, another chunk of e broke off and I was even ' 'Be pure in heart, be pure in mind!”

I'm sentimental, I know I'm despondent and foolish, I know that too Oh, help me!

Yours, Anne M Frank

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 1, 1944

Dearest Kitty, My own affairs have been pushed to the background bya break-in I' you with all lars take such pleasure in honoring Gies & Go with their presence? This incident is much more coht at seven-thirty Mr van Daan was heading, as usual, for Mr Kugler's office when he saw that both the glass door and the office door were open He was surprised, but he went on through and was even more astonished to see that the alcove doors were open as well and that there was a terrible lary” flashed through his mind But just to make sure, he went downstairs to the front door, checked the lock and found everything closed ”Bep and Peter ,” Mr van D concluded He reler's office, switched off the la much about the open doors or thePeter knocked at our door to tell us that the front door ide open and that the projector and Mr Kugler's new briefcase had disappeared from the closet Peter was instructed to lock the door Mr van Daan told us his discoveries of the night before, and ere extrelar ns of a forced entry He , shut the door behind him, hidden himself when he heard Mr van Daan, fled with the loot after Mr van Daan went upstairs and, in his hurry, not bothered to shut the door

Who could have our key? Why didn't the burglar go to the warehouse? Was it one of our oarehouse employees, and will he turn us in, now that he's heard Mr van Daan and maybe even seen him?

It's really scary, since we don't knohether the burglar will take it into his head to try and get in again Or was he so startled when he heard so that he'll stay away?

Yours, Anne

PS We'd be delighted if you could hunt up a good detective for us Obviously, there's one condotion: heTHURSDAY, MARCH 2, 1944

Dearest Kitty, Margot and I were in the attic together today I can't enjoy being there with her the way I iine it'd be with Peter (or sos as I do!

While doing the dishes, Bep began talking to Mother and Mrs van Daan about how discouraged she gets What help did those two offer her? Our tactless o from bad to worse Do you knohat her advice was? That she should think about all the other people in the world who are suffering! How can thinking about the misery of others help if you're miserable yourself? I said as much Their response, of course, was that I should stay out of conversations of this sort

The grown-ups are such idiots! As if Peter, Margot, Bep and I didn't all have the sa that helps is a mother's love, or that of a very, very close friend But these twoabout us! Perhaps Mrs van Daan does, a bitto poor Bep, so that I know from my own experience would have helped But Father cahly aside They're all so stupid!

I also talked to Margot about Father and Mother, about how nice it could be here if they weren't so aggravating We'd be able to organize evenings in which everyone could take turns discussing a given subject But we've already been through all that It's ioes on the offensive, Mother i gets sarcastic and can't say anythina in a nor part, nor does Mr Dussel, and Mrs van D is attacked so often that she just sits there with a red face, hardly able to put up a fight anymore And what about us? We aren't allowed to have an opinion! My, ressive! Not have an opinion! People can tell you to shut up, but they can't keep you fro an opinion You can't forbid so they are! The only thing that would help Bep, Margot, Peter and et here And no one, especially not the idiotic sages around here, is capable of understanding us, since we'rethan any of them ever suspect!

Love, what is love? I don't think you can really put it into words Love is understanding so his joys and sorrows This eventually includes physical love You've shared so in return, whether or not you'reyour virtue doesn'tas you live you'll have someone at your side who understands you, and who doesn't have to be shared with anyone else!

Yours, Anne M Frank

At the ain; she's clearly jealous because I talk to Mrs van Daan et hold of Peter this afternoon, and we talked for at least forty-fiveabout hih it took a long time I honestly didn't knohether it was better for o But I wanted so much to help him! I told him about Bep and how tactless our ht constantly, about politics and cigarettes and all kinds of things As I've told you before, Peter's very shy, but not too shy to admit that he'd be perfectly happy not to see his parents for a year or two ”My father isn't as nice as he looks,” he said ”But in the ht”

I also told hiht he was a ”terrific guy”

Tonight when I was hanging upthe dishes, he calleddownstairs about his parents' having had another arguh I'd already told Margot But I'ot won't pass it on

”Oh no, Peter,” I said, you don't have to worry aboutI hear I never repeat what you tell lad to hear that I also told hiht, of course, when she says I'ossiping, there's nothing I like better than discussing Mr Dussel”

”It's good that you admit it,” he said He blushed, and his sincere compliment almost embarrassed me too

Then we talked about ”upstairs” and ”downstairs” some more Peter was really rather surprised to hear that don't like his parents ”Peter,” I said, ”you know I'm always honest, so why shouldn't I tell you this as well? We can see their faults too”

I added, ”Peter, I'd really like to help you Will you let ht in an aard position, and I know, even though you don't say anything, that it upsets you”

”Oh, your help is alelcome!”

”Maybe it'd be better for you to talk to Father You can tell hi, he won't pass it on”

”I know, he's a real pal”