Part 3 (1/2)
I was up early this ht-thirty, he was upstairs eating breakfast by eight Miep was busy getting dressed, and I found her in her undershi+rt when I ca underwear I do when she bicycles Margot and I threw on our clothes as well and were upstairs earlier than usual After a pleasant breakfast, Miep headed downstairs It was pouring outside and she was glad she didn't have to bicycle to work Daddy and I ular French verbs Quite industrious, don't you think? Margot and Peter were reading in our rooot on the divan After ular French verbs, I joined thefor All Eternity It's quite a beautiful book, but very unusual I'm almost finished
Next week it's Bep's turn to spend the night
Yours, Anne
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 29, 1942
My dearest Kitty, I'm very worried Father's sick He's covered with spots and has a high temperature It looks like measles Just think, we can't even call a doctor! Mother isout the fever ThisMiep told us that the furniture has been removed from the van Daans' apartment on Zuider-Amstellaan We haven't told Mrs van D yet She's been so ”nerven her ain about all the beautiful china and lovely chairs she had to leave behind We had to abandonabout it now?
Father wantsbooks by Hebbel and other well-known German writers I can read German fairly well by now, except that I usuallythem silently to myself But that'll pass Father has taken the plays of Goethe and Schiller down fro We've started off with Don Carlos Encouraged by Father's good example, Mother pressed her prayer book into my hands I read a few prayers in German, just to be polite They certainly sound beautiful, but they ious and devout?
Toht the stove for the first ties, so the roo draws!
Yours, Anne
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1942
Dear Kitty, Bep stayed with us Friday evening It was fun, but she didn't sleep very well because she'd drunk so special to report I had an awful headache yesterday and went to bed early Margot's being exasperating again
Thisout an index card file frootten all ot and Peter to help, but they were too lazy, so I put it away I'h to do it all by ot to eta whitish smear in my panties, and Mother predicted it would start soon I can hardly wait It's such a momentous event Too bad I can't use sanitary napkins, but you can't get them anymore, and Mama's tampons can be used only by women who've had a baby i COMMENT ADDED BY ANNE ON JANUARY 22, 1944: I wouldn't be able to write that kind of thing any my diary after a year and a half, I'm surprised at my childish innocence Deep down I know I could never be that innocent again, however much I'd like to be I can understand the ot, Mother and Father as if I'd written theine writina so openly about other matters It embarrasses me areatly to read the panes dealina with subjects that I remembered as beina nicer than they actually were My descriptions are so indelicate But enouah of that I can also understandfor Moortje The whole tied unconsciously and at times consciously for trust, love and physical affection This longing e in intensity, but it's always there
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 1942
Dear Kitty, The British have finally scored a few successes in Africa and Stalingrad hasn't fallen yet, so theFor the rest, nothing special to report
This week I've been reading a lot and doing little work That's the way things ought to be That's surely the road to success
Mother and I are getting along better lately, but we're never close Father's not very open about his feelings, but he's the sao and the entire roo, and I'ot's a stinker (there's no other word for it), a constant source of irritation, ht
Anne Frank
SAturdAY, NOVEMBER 7, 1942
Dearest Kitty, Mother's nerves are very e, and that doesn't bode well for me Is it just a coincidence that Father and Mother never scold Margot and always blaot was reading a book with beautiful illustrations; she got up and put the book aside for later I wasn't doing anything, so I picked it up and began looking at the pictures Margot carne back, saw' ”her” book in rily deh it soot ot was reading that book; give it back to her”
Father ca on, saw that Margot was being wronged and lashed out atat one of your books!”
I pro to them, left the room' 'in a huff” I was neither huffy nor cross, but iven the book to Margot myself, and a lot sooner, if Father and Mother hadn't intervened and rushed to take Margot's part, as if she were suffering soot's side; they always take each other's sides I'm so used to it that I've becoot's moodiness I love theive a darn about theo ju partial to Margot, approving Margot's every action, praising her, hugging her, I feel a gnawing ache inside, because I'm crazy about him I model myself after Father, and there's no one in the world I love ot differently than he does ot just happens to be the smartest, the kindest, the prettiest and the best But I have a right to be taken seriously too I've always been the clown and mischief maker of the family; I've always had to pay double for ain with er satisfied with thefor so I'ot; I never have been I'm not envious of her brains or her beauty It's just that I'd like to feel that Father really loves me, not because I' to Father because h hi I have left He doesn't understand that I sos for Mother He doesn't want to talk about it, and he avoids any discussion involving Mother's failings And yet Mother, with all her shortcoher for me to deal with I don't kno I should act I can't very well confront her with her carelessness, her sarcasm and her hard-heartedness, yet I can't continue to take the bla
I'm the opposite of Mother, so of course we clash I don'tat her as a mother She's not a mother to me-I have tomy own course, and we'll see where it leads me I have no choice, because I can picture what aof the sort in the woain to overlook Mother's bad exaood points, and to look insidein her But it doesn't work, and the worst part is that Father and Mother don't realize their own inadequacies and howme down Are there any parents who can make their children co to test ood person on my oithout anyone to serve as a er in the end
Who else butto read these letters? Who else but me can I turn to for comfort? I'm frequently in need of consolation, I often feel weak, and more often than not, I fail to meet expectations I know this, and every day I resolve to do better
They aren't consistent in their treatirl and entitled to know everything, and the next that Anne's a silly goose who doesn't know a thing and yet iines she's learned all she needs to know fro whose every deed can be laughed at I have my own ideas, plans and ideals, but am unable to articulate theht when I'ed to put up with people I can't abide or who invariablyback to my diary-I start there and end there because Kitty's always patient I pro, that I'll find my oay and choke back my tears I only wish I could see soement from someone who loves me
Don't condemn me, but think ofpoint!
Yours, Anne
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 9,1942
Dearest Kitty, Yesterday was Peter's birthday, his sixteenth I was upstairs by eight, and Peter and I looked at his presents He received a gahter Not that he suished
The biggest surprise calish had landed in Tunis, Algiers, Casablanca and Oran
”This is the beginning of the end,” everyone was saying, but Churchill, the British Pri repeated in England, declared, ”This is not the end It is not even the beginning of the end But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning” Do you see the difference? However, there's reason for optirad, the Russian city that has been under attack for three months, still hasn't fallen into German hands
In the true spirit of the Annex, I should talk to you about food (I should explain that they're real gluttons up on the top floor) Bread is delivered daily by a very nice baker, a friend of Mr Kleiman's Of course, we don't have as h We also purchase ration books on the blackup; it's already risen frouilders And that for mere sheets of printed paper!
To provide ourselves with a source of nutrition that will keep, aside froht three hundred pounds of beans Not just for us, but for the office staff as well We'd hung the sacks of beans on hooks in the hallway, just inside our secret entrance, but a few seaht So we decided to move the He et five of the six sacks upstairs intact and was busy with the last one when the sack broke and a flood, or rather a hailstorh the air and down the stairs Since there were about fifty pounds of beans in that sack, it h noise to raise the dead Downstairs they were sure the house was falling down around their heads Peter was stunned, but then burst into peals of laughter when he sawat the bottom of the stairs, like an island in a sea of broaves of beans lapping atthem up, but beans are so small and slippery that they roll into every conceivable corner and hole Now each tio upstairs, we bend over and hunt around so we can present Mrs van Daan with a handful of beans I alot to mention that Father has recovered from his illness Yours, Anne PS The radio has just announced that Algiers has fallen Morocco, Casablanca and Oran have been in English hands for several days We're noaiting for Tunis
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1942
Dearest Kitty, Great news! We're planning to take an eighth person into hiding with us! Yes, really We always thought there was enough roo an even greater burden on Mr Kugler and Mr Klei done to the Jews are getting worse by the day, Father decided to sound out these two gentleht it was an excellent plan ”It's just as dangerous, whether there are seven or eight,” they noted rightly Once this was settled, we sat down andto cole person ould blend in ith our extended family This wasn't difficult After Father had rejected all the van Daan relatives, we chose a dentist na Christian lady who's quite a bit younger than he is They're probably not married, but that's beside the point He's known to be quiet and refined, and he seemed, from our superficial acquaintance with him, to be nice Miep knows hiements If he coot, ill have to ot slept in her parents' bedroo to fill cavities with
Yours, Anne