Part 30 (1/2)
Presently a buggy appeared over a rise, and Harding felt a thrill of pleasure as he recognized the team and the driver. When Beatrice reached him she checked the horses.
”You're going to the elevators with your grain?” she said. ”How is it you came by the Long Bluff?”
”I went round by Willow Gulch in the ravine.”
”Then you went to meet Kenwyne and Broadwood where the new trail is to cross? I've heard something about the matter.”
”I did. And I'm afraid I offended Colonel Mowbray.”
”So he has stopped the undertaking! I expected it.”
”No,” said Harding, with a half-humorous air. ”The trail will be made, though I won't be able to begin this season.”
Beatrice looked thoughtful.
”I'm sorry about this,” she said; ”it may cause more trouble. Why can't you leave us alone?”
”I'm afraid I am meddlesome. But it's hard to leave things alone when you know they ought to be done.”
”That sounds egotistical. Are you never mistaken?”
”Often, but it's generally when I get to planning what I'd like to do.”
”I don't quite understand.”
”It would certainly be egotistical if I bored you with my crude ideas,”
he answered, smiling.
”Never mind that. I want to know.”
”Well,” he said, ”sometimes you look about to see how you can alter matters and what plans you can make; but when they're made they won't always work. It's different when you don't have to look.”
Beatrice had a dim perception of what he meant, but she would let him explain. His point of view interested her; though she knew that she ran some risk in leading him into confidential talk.
”I don't think you have made it very clear yet.”
”I meant that there are times when you see your work ready laid out.
It's there; you didn't plan it--you simply can't mistake it. Then if you go straight ahead and do the best you can, you can't go wrong.”
”But when you don't feel sure? When you haven't the conviction that it is your task?”
”Then,” he said quietly, ”I think it's better to sit tight and wait.
When the time to act comes, you certainly will know.”
Beatrice pondered this, because it seemed to apply with some force to herself. He had once urged her to take a daring course, to a.s.sert her freedom at the cost of sacrificing much that she valued. Though she had courage, she had shrunk from the venture, because she had not the firm conviction that it was justified. She felt drawn to Harding; indeed, she had met no other man whom she liked so well; but there was much against him, and nothing but deep, unquestioning love would warrant her marrying him. That she felt such love she would not admit. It was better to take the advice he had given her and wait. This was the easier for her to do because she believed that he had no suspicion of her real feeling for him.
”After all,” she said, smiling, ”your responsibility ends with yourself.