Part 9 (1/2)

And knowing what's really within us, we must still practice being good. Practicing Buddhism means being aware of what's here and now. And that ain't easy.

The word Buddhism Buddhism means a lot of things to a lot of people-stuff like the means a lot of things to a lot of people-stuff like the Tibetan Book of the Dead Tibetan Book of the Dead, those Vietnamese guys who burned themselves on the street in the '60s, and the Aum s.h.i.+nri Kyo cult who ga.s.sed the Tokyo subways. For j.a.panese people, Buddhism means funerals and temples and the popular TV image of monks standing naked under waterfalls in the middle of the winter.12 Hollywood has turned Buddhism into a lightweight religion full of smiling old bald men spewing meaningless words in voices resonating with authority. Bookstore shelves groan under the weight of trash like Zig Zag Zen Zig Zag Zen and a dozen vapid, syrupy tomes with the word and a dozen vapid, syrupy tomes with the word Zen Zen in the t.i.tle and some serene image on the cover. in the t.i.tle and some serene image on the cover.

Then there are pop culture's approved list of pseudo-Buddhist masters, people like Ken Wilber, for whom the goal of Buddhism is some imaginary ”formless state,” or others for whom the ”goal” of Buddhism is some fantasy called satori satori. Or Allan Hunt Badiner and the rest of the crew in Zig Zag Zen, Zig Zag Zen, for whom the goal of Buddhism seems to be to get a really good buzz on. for whom the goal of Buddhism seems to be to get a really good buzz on.

I once saw a ”Buddhist master” who told his students, ”I can bring you to full awakening in three years!” And apparently this ”full awakening” included sessions in isolation tanks, sky-diving lessons, and vacations in exotic Asian locales-with the students paying for all of the teacher's hotels, food, and travel expenses. Don't ask me how this works, I couldn't follow it either. But that's not Buddhism. It's not even close.

The kinds of fantasies people like this promote are damaging in the extreme. Fantasies of melting into the void, of seeing incredible visions, of achieving peak experiences and making them last forever should be avoided at all costs.

Believe only in the universe as it is right now. See the world and yourself for what they are. Don't be deceived by your imagination no matter how beautiful it is.

Dogen relates a neat story about this in the Shobogenzo: Shobogenzo: A monk's walking around outside and he stubs his toe something fierce. Hopping around in utter agony he thinks, ”I've read that pain is void, so what the h.e.l.l is this?” And all at once he gets it. When his teacher asks him to explain, he says, ”I cannot be deceived by others.” A monk's walking around outside and he stubs his toe something fierce. Hopping around in utter agony he thinks, ”I've read that pain is void, so what the h.e.l.l is this?” And all at once he gets it. When his teacher asks him to explain, he says, ”I cannot be deceived by others.”

We all want want to be deceived by others. We want to pretend we believe in idiotic philosophies we find comforting. But in the end, no matter how much we try, we can't possibly be deceived. Reality is always there. You can pretend the sky is green with orange polka-dots, but when you open your eyes and look up, it never is. to be deceived by others. We want to pretend we believe in idiotic philosophies we find comforting. But in the end, no matter how much we try, we can't possibly be deceived. Reality is always there. You can pretend the sky is green with orange polka-dots, but when you open your eyes and look up, it never is.

Zazen will put you directly in touch with the source of yourself. It will bring you into direct contact with something that has never departed from you, something that could never leave you. You can never escape yourself. The truth is always there. Try to look away from it and wherever you turn your head it's right in front of you. Reality is the one and only constant thing in this universe. It's always right there. Just as it is.

EPILOGUE.

Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak.

WOODY ALLEN.

THE WORLD IS CHANGING. Things are getting better. I know that's hard for lots of people to believe, what with terrorism and war and the price of Doc Martens.

It was hard for me to really see, too. For most of my life I've been the darkest, bleakest most misanthropic pessimist anyone could want to meet (or to avoid, for that matter). I was utterly convinced the world was on the fast track to h.e.l.l. When I first encountered Nis.h.i.+jima's grinning, sunny optimism I wanted to smack it right off his face.

But here's the thing: You can convince yourself that your pessimistic outlook is ”correct” or ”realistic” or ”justified”-and any newspaper will give you plenty of evidence. You can wallow darkly in your certainty that anyone who sees things in a positive light is an unrealistic empty-headed ninny.

Spend your time doing that and you'll be miserable, which you believe is your right, a personal choice that affects no one but yourself. But it's not. It's an inexcusable way to live because when you live that way you won't do anything about any of what's wrong in the world because, of course, if you succeeded that would prove you were wrong that nothing could be done.

Does letting go of your committed pessimism mean you ignore what's wrong in the world? No. Far from it. Seeing what's wrong and pointing it out is a big part of how you make things better. It is vitally important that you do this.13 With weapons of ma.s.s destruction within reach of nearly anyone who wants them, you have a duty to make certain that no one in this world ever has any reason to want to use such a thing. This is very much your own personal responsibility. To s.h.i.+rk it isn't just wrong, it's dangerous. With weapons of ma.s.s destruction within reach of nearly anyone who wants them, you have a duty to make certain that no one in this world ever has any reason to want to use such a thing. This is very much your own personal responsibility. To s.h.i.+rk it isn't just wrong, it's dangerous.

If the world is to change in any important way, that change will come from individual human beings who have the courage to discover who they truly are. And in making this discovery, they will find out what humanity truly is, what the universe truly is. Only people who understand their own nature thoroughly will be able to bring about the changes that must occur if humanity is to survive.

You can transform your life, and it is imperative that you do it. Because only you can do it. No guru can make your life right. No Zen master can show you the way. Only you have the power to make this place you're living in right now a realm so beautiful even G.o.d himself couldn't dream of anything better. And doing this will transform the universe. can transform your life, and it is imperative that you do it. Because only you can do it. No guru can make your life right. No Zen master can show you the way. Only you have the power to make this place you're living in right now a realm so beautiful even G.o.d himself couldn't dream of anything better. And doing this will transform the universe.

It is up to you.

It's not just your right; it's your duty.

Only you can find the path and only you can walk it.

To do this, you need to establish balance within yourself. You need a practice that will enable you to see yourself for what you truly are. Zazen is one way you can do that. And zazen can help you establish balance and keep it.

People long for big thrills, peak experiences, deep insights. Some people take up zazen practice expecting that enlightenment will be the ultimate peak experience, the peak experience to beat all peak experiences. But real enlightenment is the most ordinary of the ordinary.

And our ordinary, boring, pointless lives are incredibly, amazingly, astoundingly, relentlessly, mercilessly joyful.

You don't need to do a d.a.m.ned thing to experience such joy either. You don't need to snort an ounce of c.o.ke, get a turkey-baster full of hot grease shoved up your a.s.s, blow up the Was.h.i.+ngton Monument, win the Indy 500, or walk on the moon. You don't need to go hang-gliding over the Himalayas, or kayaking down the Amazon. You don't need to screw that oh-so-willing babe with the dark hair and the pouty lips or the smokin' seventeen-year-old on your brother's baseball team, and you don't need to party all night with the beautiful people. You don't need to do any of that stuff to know what it means to be alive.

You're alive when you're sitting in your bedroom cleaning wax out of your ears. You're alive when you're looking at your t.u.r.ds floating in the toilet and noticing bits of last night's dinner in there. You're alive when you're at the supermarket wondering whether to go for the Hostess Ho-Hos or the Little Debbies Ho-Hos or the Little Debbies. You're alive right now. Just be what you are, where you are. That's the most magical thing there is. The life you're living right now has joys even G.o.d could never know.

No one else has ever lived this moment and no one else will ever live it. No one in the whole universe. Oh, there may have been people who stood on subway platforms looking at a book before. But they weren't you. It wasn't this book. They weren't as hungry for a nice slice of pizza as you are right now. They hadn't schtupped schtupped the people you have. They hadn't made the same stupid mistakes with their lives as you have. Nor have they felt the same joys. They haven't made happy the people you've made happy. The snot in their noses hasn't hardened into the same shapes that the snot in your nose has. the people you have. They hadn't made the same stupid mistakes with their lives as you have. Nor have they felt the same joys. They haven't made happy the people you've made happy. The snot in their noses hasn't hardened into the same shapes that the snot in your nose has.