Part 36 (1/2)
”Isabel, what notion can you possibly have picked up about myself and Barbara Hare; I never entertained the faintest shadow of love for her, either before my marriage or since. You must tell me what has given rise to this idea in your mind.”
”But she loved you.”
A moment's hesitation; for, of course, Mr. Carlyle was conscious that she had; but, taking all the circ.u.mstances into consideration, more especially how he learnt the fact, he could not, in honor, acknowledge it to his wife. ”If it was so, Isabel, she was more reprehensibly foolish than I should have given Barbara's good sense could be; for a woman may almost as well lose herself as to suffer herself to love unsought. If she did give her love to me, I can only say, I was entirely unconscious of it. Believe me, you have as much cause to be jealous of Cornelia as you have of Barbara Hare.”
An impulse rose within her that she would tell him all; the few words dropped by Susan and Joyce, twelve months before, the conversation she had just overheard; but in that moment of renewed confidence, it did appear to her that she must have been very foolish to attach importance to it--that a sort of humiliation, in listening to the converse of servants, was reflected on her, and she remained silent.
There never was a pa.s.sion in this world--there never will be one--so fantastic, so delusive, so powerful as jealousy. Mr. Carlyle dismissed the episode from his thoughts; he believed his wife's emotion to have been simply from a feverish dream, and never supposed but that, with the dream, its recollection would pa.s.s away from her. Not so. Implicitly relying upon her husband's words at the moment, feeling quite ashamed at her own suspicion, Lady Isabel afterward suffered the unhappy fear to regain its influence; the ill-starred revelations of Wilson rea.s.serted their power, overmastering the denial of Mr. Carlyle. Shakspeare calls jealousy yellow and green; I think it may be called black and white for it most a.s.suredly views white as black, and black as white. The most fanciful surmises wear the aspect of truth, the greatest improbabilities appear as consistent realities. Not another word said Isabel to her husband; and the feeling--you will understand this if you have ever been foolish enough to sun yourself in its delights--only caused her to grow more attached to him, to be more eager for his love. But certain it is that Barbara Hare dwelt on her heart like an incubus.
CHAPTER XIX.
CAPTAIN THORN AT WEST LYNNE.
”Barbara, how fine the day seems!”
”It is a beautiful day mamma.”
”I do think I should be all the better for going out.”
”I am sure you would, mamma,” was Barbara's answer. ”If you went out more, you would find the benefit. Every fine day you ought to do so. I will go and ask papa if he can spare Benjamin and the carriage.” She waltzed gaily out of the room, but returned in a moment.
”Mamma, it is all right. Benjamin is gone to get the carriage ready. You would like a bit of luncheon before you go--I will order the tray.”
”Anything you please, dear,” said the sweet-tempered gentlewoman. ”I don't know why, but I feel glad to go out to-day; perhaps because it is lovely.”
Benjamin made ready his carriage and himself, and drove out of the yard at the back, and brought the carriage round to the front gate.
The carriage--or phaeton as it was often called--was a somewhat old fas.h.i.+oned concern, as many country things are apt to be. A small box in front for the driver, and a wide seat with a head behind, accommodating Barbara well between them when Mr. and Mrs. Hare both sat in.
Benjamin drew the rug carefully over his mistress's knees--the servants did not like Mr. Hare, but would have laid down their lives for her-- ascended to his box, and drove them to their destination, the linen draper's. It was an excellent shop, situated a little beyond the office of Mr. Carlyle, and Mrs. Hare and Barbara were soon engaged in that occupation said to possess for all women a fascination. They had been in about an hour, when Mrs. Hare discovered that her bag was missing.
”I must have left it in the carriage, Barbara. Go and bring it, will you, my dear? The pattern of that silk is in it.”
Barbara went out. The carriage and Benjamin and the sleek old horse were all waiting drowsily together. Barbara could not see the bag, and she appealed to the servant.
”Find mamma's bag, Benjamin. It must be somewhere in the carriage.”
Benjamin got off his box and began to search. Barbara waited, gazing listlessly down the street. The sun was s.h.i.+ning brilliantly, and its rays fell upon the large cable chain of a gentleman who was sauntering idly up the pavement, making its gold links and its drooping seal and key glitter, as they crossed his waistcoat. It shone also upon the enameled gold studs of his s.h.i.+rt front, making them glitter; and as he suddenly raised his ungloved hand to stroke his moustache--by which action you know a vain man--a diamond ring he wore gleamed with a light that was positively dazzling. Involuntarily Barbara thought of the description her brother Richard had given of certain dazzling jewels worn by another.
She watched him advance! He was a handsome man of, perhaps, seven or eight and twenty, tall, slender and well made, his eyes and hair black.
A very pleasant expression sat upon his countenance; and on the left hand he wore a light buff kid glove, and was swinging its fellow by the fingers. But for the light cast at that moment by the sun, Barbara might not have noticed the jewellery, or connected it in her mind with the other jewellery in that unhappy secret.
”Hallo, Thorn, is that you? Just step over here.”
The speaker was Otway Bethel, who was on the opposite side of the street; the spoken to, the gentleman with the jewellery. But the latter was in a brown study, and did not hear. Bethel called out again, louder.
”Captain Thorn!”
That was heard. Captain Thorn nodded, and turned short off across the street. Barbara stood like one in a dream, her brain, her mind, her fancy all in a confused ma.s.s together.