Chapter 3 (1/2)
Chapter 03
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The heroine in the 'The River in the Desert', He Mo, left a note to her family a couple of days after graduating from High School ㅡ before she grabbed a backpack and started off on a long journey; crossing prisms of landscapes and mult.i.tude of sceneries from rainforests to deserts, sleeping out in the open with the starry night sky as her blanket.
The escapade lasted for a little over twelve months, give or take, before returning to her safety net, the embrace of her family which she called home hence the book. The book embodied truths laced with fiction.
To someone who liked to lock herself in the room and study such as Bo Ziren, He Mo's journey was akin to a person seeking novelty. However, what touched her heart was the deep connections He Mo had with people around her. It was real and simple without any pretense. Her lover was gentle but melancholy ㅡ sometimes near, and sometimes far out of her reach, forever adrift without a destination. Her friend was generous and loyal. As she embarked on the long journey, her family was her rock through the storms and winds, they would always have her back.
On the seventeenth page, after leaving home for the third day, it was the first time He Mo phoned home. In that call, she asked for her parents' understanding as she promised to take care of herself and regularly get in touch with them. Although her parents were very disappointed with her actions, they also well aware that He Mo could not be persuaded to return; within their hearts, actually there was not much reproach but more of worry for her. Her elder brother reminded her that his handphone would always be on for twenty-four seven, if she ever met with any troubles or problems, she must contact him at once.
One page eighty-one, He Mo wrote that every time she arrived at a new, strange city, the first thing she would do was head to the local bank, and there, she would find her family's timely remittance, every single time. Thus, she never had to worry about money.
Page one hundred and fifty ㅡ He Mo sent a text ma.s.sage to He Yan saying she misses home, and He Yan replied: [If you're missing home, then come back.] However, He Mo's reply was, it was not the time yet, and that she was thinking of the pickled vegetable meat dumpling[1] back home. Knowing that, He Yan asked for her current address, and three days later, in the little hotel she was staying, she received a tightly wrapped package. Unwrapping it, other than what she wanted, there was no note or message in sight.
From beginning to the end, He Yan played the role of a quiet, supporting family member that did everything within his power to help his little sister to live a happy life, away from troubles.
When He Mo mentioned He Yan, she said she would forever be grateful to her parents for having him first before her. Grateful to him for coming into this world before her and became her elder brother, showed her the distinction of good and bad.
………
Bo Ziren closed the lid and put the book on one side.
These several nights before sleeping, she would read a couple of pages from the book. Reading this book again after lapse of some years, it still brought her the same calmness and warmth she remembered; similar to the time when He Mo spent the night in the Gobi Desert, sitting next to the campfire, while an old man was strumming on his guitar whereas she sat on the side making notes:
”From the many beautiful memories that I can always reminisce to this moment hereinafter, amidst the endless stretches of the glittering golden sand, whispers of the wind tickling my ears, and the vast and wide horizon on my side. I possess abundance.”
”If pa.s.sing by was also a type of scenery, and who you came across were destinies, then everything you have is a fortune.”
This was what He Mo wrote, and Bo Ziren felt if she were in He Mo's shoes, she would pen the same.
Staring at the ceiling above, her thoughts were being pulled back to the reality. Inadvertently, she thought of the man in the café from the previous Friday. This was the first time in her life she had ever taken the initiative to strike up a conversation with a stranger, and towards the opposite gender nonetheless. Conversing about what they had talked, got to know his name, and where he worked.
The fact was, she had used the Book Exchange Club as an excuse to built a connection with that good-looking man with bright eyes, nice voice, and good conversational skills. However, her bubble of having a good relations.h.i.+p could only end here, beyond that was evidently out of her reach.
Other than that tiny-ripples-on-the-calm-surface-of-the-water moment, Bo Ziren's life returned to its normal routine. It revolved around cla.s.ses and back to the dormitory and back again; it repeats in a loop.
The Adi sportswear guy, Fangzheng, ran out of patience waiting for her reply that never came, and finally, he decided on a certain evening to venture to the female dormitory ㅡ to wait and get an answer from Bo Ziren in person.
When he saw her, he immediately walked up to her and asked if she had taken a look at something from her coat pocket.
”I have.” Bo Ziren's answer rolled off her tongue straight away without hesitation, ”it won't work, though.”
”Won't you consider it a little longer?” Fangzheng looked straight into her eyes, ”I'm very sincere.”
”You said you fell in love with me at first sight. However, I do not share the same sentiment.”
”I do not mind if you had not fallen for me at first sight, feelings can always be nurtured as long as you believe in me.”
Bo Ziren shook her head, ”We've never held any decent conversation before this. You don't know anything about me, how can you determine your feelings is sincere or not?”
”It is a kind of feelings that makes me feel as if I've known you for a long time. Every time I see you sitting in the front row in cla.s.s, my eyes naturally seek you out, and they can't move away from you.” Fangzheng's effort to convey his feelings to the best of his ability was hard to miss, ”I can't concentrate 'cause you're my distraction, and I always wonder what you are doing every second and every hour of the day.”
”If it's like this,” Bo Ziren stared straight into his persistent yet nervous eyes, and said without any reserved, ”I'm even more sure than ever that I don't feel the same towards you. A relations.h.i.+p like this is not equal and is unfair to you. I think there is no need for us to waste any precious time in this.”
The straightforward words were a blow to Fangzheng; he was dazed for a while, this outcome was totally out of his expectation. The fired-up enthusiasm he had awhile back was extinguished, replaced by a severely injured self-esteem.
Bo Ziren turned and headed up the staircases when she heard a chiding voice at her back, ”I hope you won't regret this. I mean, other than me, there's no one else who'd have this kind of feelings towards you. You may have a nice face and all, but you're a weirdo. Living like a lone fish in a small fishbowl, there's no meaning to your life. That's what everyone said behind your back.”
Bo Ziren's steps halted: ”Too bad you happened to fall in love at first sight with this kind of people.”
Fangzheng's face flushed a beetroot red: ”Perhaps I was mistaken. It's only because I was too lonely during this time.”
Fangzheng left after he had dropped a bomb of a sentence first.
When Bo Ziren was back in her dormitory, she made dinner. After dinner, she started practicing exam questions; during a small break, she opened her mobile phone and found an unread message.
[Are you coming back this weekend? Since Uni started, you haven't come back once.]
It was her Mom.
[This week I planned to stay at the library. Will come back next weekend.]
[Okay, take care. Don't tire yourself too much.]
Originally, she wanted to make a trip back home this weekend, but she suddenly recalled something up. Inexplicably, she canceled her plans.
That’s right−−the Book Exchange Club meeting with that depressing number of attendants.
———–
That Book Club Exchange meeting she had been looking forward to that Friday was the epitome of desolate. Until the last moment, Bo Ziren did not catch a glimpse of Cheng Jingpo, not even his shadow.
When she was paying at the cas.h.i.+er, she hesitatingly asked the waitress behind the counter, ”Excuse me, isn't there a part-timer Philosophy Teacher working here? He didn't come today, did he?”
Needless to say, the waitress knew who Bo Ziren was referring to immediately, her answer came briskly, ”You're asking about Teacher Cheng right? He's not some part-timer, he can be considered as one of the managers here. But this week he's probably busy with something so he's not coming over.”
”Oh, so it's like this.” Bo Ziren sounded as though she understood something.
”May I ask what matters you have with him? If it's convenient for you, I can make a call to him for you.”
”Oh, no need. It's nothing important.”
”En,” the waitress maintained a professional smile, ”Please come again.”
Twenty minutes after Bo Ziren left, the doors to the Lighthouse Café was pushed opened as somebody came in. The waitress turned around and saw Cheng Jingpo.
”Teacher Cheng? I thought you wouldn't be coming in today, it's already this time of the day.”
Cheng Jingpo said: ”Some matters at Uni, was delayed a little.”