Part 5 (2/2)

Why was Kari having such a difficult time that first summer in Riesel? Perhaps part of it involved a drama going on behind the scenes. Kari called Linda one day, upset. ”Mom, someone stole our debit card and charged phone s.e.x and p.o.r.n on the Internet.” She'd discovered the charges when she looked at the account, trying to figure out why it was overdrawn. When she told Matt that their bank account had been emptied out by phone s.e.x and p.o.r.n charges, he claimed someone had stolen his debit card and that the thief must have used it on the Internet. Kari, as always, believed him.

That day, distraught and indignant, Kari stormed into the bank. Once there, she introduced herself to the manager, explaining that the charges were fraudulent. She hadn't bought p.o.r.n, and her husband, a Baptist minister, certainly hadn't. The bank manager didn't argue and quickly refunded the money. ”Kari was persuasive because she believed what she was saying,” says Linda. ”Matt was smart. He let her argue for him because she was the stronger one of the two of them.”

The furor ended quickly with the return of the money.

Matt's stop in Riesel would again be a short one. A little more than a year after he earned his master's, the tension was rising. That August of 2002, during a church meeting, an argument erupted. Angry, Kari stormed out. ”There wasn't criticism of me,” says Matt. ”But that ended my ministry there. A minister who can't control his wife isn't looked well at.”

Jenny and Todd would remember it differently.

They heard rumors that the deacons, a council of five men who oversaw the running of the church, were disappointed in Matt, and that meetings were being held behind closed doors. However it happened, when Matt announced that he had secured a position in Dallas, it seemed that First Baptist in Riesel was ready for him to move on. ”The church as a whole didn't seem upset at their leaving,” says Todd. ”I heard that people were beginning to question the direction Matt was leading the church.”

Kari, always Matt's biggest supporter, didn't hide that she was ready to leave. ”She said Matt deserved bigger and better and that he wasn't being appreciated,” says a friend.

The church in Dallas was Northlake Baptist, northeast of downtown and inside the 635 Loop, not far from White Rock Lake. The largest church Matt had pastored in his still-burgeoning career, it was set into an elongated corner. Beige brick with a soaring front, a cross surging upward over the front doors, the sanctuary had blue and green block windows framed in white. Built for a congregation of four hundred or more, its members.h.i.+p had dwindled over the years, until at the time Matt was hired, attendance at Sunday services hovered around seventy. In its mission statement, Northlake called itself ”a small church with a big vision,” and said it hoped ”to see people transformed by the power of G.o.d.”

If Kari's sometime brashness, the high emotion that led her to walk out of the meeting in Riesel, had been a negative in that small town, at Northlake, she was one of the reasons Matt was hired. ”We liked Kari, that she was young and modern, a career educator,” says one who attended the church. ”She was one of the reasons we hired Matt. We interviewed both of them, and we were impressed with her s.p.u.n.k, that she spoke her mind. We wanted not only a pastor but a pastor's wife who'd mesh well.”

The neighborhood surrounding the church was comprised of streets lined with modest thirty-year-old, one-story houses, where children played in well-manicured yards. The church offered a mothers' day out program, and as they had at the other churches, Matt and Kari expanded the youth programs. Soon after arriving, Kari began working with the music minister, introducing more modern offerings to the programs.

At first, Kari appeared homesick, but she and Matt quickly made friends among the church members, including Jill and Stephen Hotz. A redheaded mom, Jill taught and coached drama in one of Dallas's tougher schools. Not long after arriving, Matt and Kari also bonded with Aubrey Harbor, a pet.i.te young woman with long dark blond hair, and her fiance, Joe Blodgett, who had plans that included becoming a minister.

In Dallas, Kari appeared happy. At Northlake, she organized and ran the volunteers who staffed the Vacation Bible School. That year, she worked with the children's ministry and youth group to raise money for programs in impoverished countries and taught Bible studies. ”Her enthusiasm was contagious,” says Jill.

Settling in, Matt and Kari purchased a house in Mesquite, a suburb half an hour west of the church. Linda visited and bought them curtains. At home, Matt and Kari had reversed roles. He did the cooking, and Kari was the one who mowed the yard. He talked often about how he was the one who gave the girls their baths, sounding proud of it. ”Matt was more domestic than Kari,” says a friend. ”He liked to cook, and she didn't.”

On weekends, Kari and Matt and Jill Hotz and her family combined efforts on dinners. When Kari cooked, she most often made canned chili and hot dogs. And when the Hotzes cooked and Kari offered to bring a dish, she always brought the same one, cheese grits with jalapenos. ”It goes with everything,” she told Jill during one dinner.

”Not when Stephen is making stir-fry,” Jill answered with a laugh.

When a second-grade slot opened at Lake Highlands Elementary, where Kensi attended kindergarten, Kari applied and was hired. The Bakers' two girls flourished as well. That summer, Kari signed Kensi up for horseback riding and swim team, and Kari and Matt were in the stands, cheering her on. ”After what happened to Ka.s.sidy, Kari wouldn't trust a lot of people taking care of the girls,” says Jill. ”She was protective.”

As Kari got to know Jill better, she confided in her. At times, Kari made fun of a woman at the church, one who seemed to spend a lot of time following Matt, often at odd hours. ”That woman really likes Matt,” Kari said, with a laugh. ”I wonder how she comes on to him?” Since Kari didn't appear to take the woman seriously, Jill thought little of it.

Over time, Jill got used to picking up the phone and hearing Kari rattle on about one thing or another without ever taking a breath or bothering to say h.e.l.lo. ”It was like the conversation had never stopped from the previous call,” says Jill. ”Kari just kept talking.”

Most of all, they had fun together. ”It was hard not to around Kari,” Jill says. Even in church, things happened that made Kari laugh. One Sunday, for instance, Kari sat in a chair and turned around to grab Jill's hand in the pew behind her. Instead, Kari latched on to the flip-flopped foot of the man seated beside Jill. ”Right in church, Kari started laughing,” says Jill. ”She laughed so hard, she couldn't control herself.”

There were things Jill instinctively knew about Kari. Jill saw her as spontaneous and outspoken and loyal. ”When Kari loved someone, she really loved them. She was a really good friend, the kind who's there for you,” she says. ”No matter what happened, she had your back.”

For example, there was the day Jill had car trouble, and Kari wanted to pull Matt out of Bible study to help. ”Don't do that,” Jill said.

”I'm worried about you,” Kari said.

As Jill and her husband saw it, Kari and Matt were well matched, and the Hotz family grew to love him as well. Matt taught their son to tie his shoes, and Matt could be a tease, as he was one afternoon when Kari, Matt, and the girls were visiting. Jill cooked, but had to repeatedly stop to answer the phone. When she did, no one spoke. Without caller ID, Jill didn't know who was calling until she saw Matt holding his cell phone and laughing.

At other times, Matt grew serious, talking about his family and growing up. His parents rarely visited in Dallas, which seemed to disappoint Kari more than Matt. Once he talked to the Hotzes about the foster home his parents ran, saying, ”The saddest day in my life was the day I realized the Bakers were my real parents.”

Yet when Barbara and Oscar did visit, they appeared proud of Matt. At a skating party for one of the girl's birthdays, Oscar repeatedly asked those gathered if they really attended ”Matt's church where he preaches.”

He asked so often that Jill mentioned it to Matt, who shrugged, and said, ”Yeah, my dad's a little different.”

While the Bakers rarely came, Kari's family visited often. From what Jill saw, it appeared they had a good relations.h.i.+p with their son-in-law, something Matt confirmed one day when he said, ”I think of the Dulins as my parents. They're closer to me than my own parents.”

That spring, March 2003, when the anniversary of Ka.s.sidy's death approached, Jill saw another side of Kari, watching as she spent the day remembering the child she'd lost. As they had in Riesel, Matt and Kari stayed home that day, and Kari watched videos of Ka.s.sidy. They released balloons in her memory. ”My sweet little girl. I really do miss her,” Kari told Jill. But the sadness pa.s.sed quickly.

”It was a day, and Kari was up and around again,” says Jill.

In her Bible that spring, Kari highlighted in pink the pa.s.sage that read, ”Wives submit to the husband as to the Lord.” Then there was the day Kari articulated how she saw her role as a minister's wife. Aubrey and Joe, who was studying to be a minister, were getting ready to marry, and Kari described to the bride-to-be the special stresses faced by a pastor's wife. At times, Kari said, people wouldn't like what Joe was doing. No matter how well-intentioned, there were those who would think they knew better how to run the church. ”No matter what, you have to defend your husband,” Kari told her. ”No matter what.”

That May, in Northlake's sanctuary, Matt officiated at Aubrey and Joe's wedding. After a rousing rendition of ”Here Comes the Bride,” Matt stood before those gathered. ”One of the most beautiful expressions of love and tenderness comes from the book of Ruth, where it says, 'don't urge me to leave you or turn back from you. Where you go, I will go. Where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your G.o.d my G.o.d. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me ever so severely if anything but death separates you and me.' ”

After finis.h.i.+ng the Bible pa.s.sage, Matt stood before the young couple, and said, ”You will work on your marriage. And the only thing that can separate you is death.”

Perhaps inspired by Linda's thirst for education, Kari enrolled in Dallas Baptist University and began working on a graduate degree in leaders.h.i.+p studies with an emphasis on conflict resolution. She was ambitious for herself and for Matt and the girls. ”She never wanted the girls to miss anything because they didn't have enough money,” says Jill. ”Kari was adamant that they were going to have everything she could give them.”

Yet as there had been at the other churches, problems began to develop for Matt at Northlake. It started within weeks of signing on at the church, when Matt fired a staff member. ”The woman was well liked, a founding member of the church, so it was a horrible political move,” says a church member. The man watched Matt, and thought he saw a pattern, one in which the young pastor went behind the backs of those in charge of different aspects of the church and contradicted their orders. ”I came to the conclusion that Matt liked to stir up controversy. He didn't like things to run smoothly.”

As in the past, Matt used little scripture in his sermons, instead telling stories, which upset the older members of the church. ”Matt always seemed kind of arrogant,” says one member. ”It was kind of like, this is what I'm preaching, and he expected us to accept that and not question.”

Over the months, the complaints multiplied. As always, Kari defended him. ”She spent most of her time arguing and standing up for Matt,” says Jill. ”Kari was a go-getter, with energy to spare, and she was determined that people would back Matt. Because we were their friends, we fell in line behind them. There was a lot of stress at the church.”

”Matt would tell Kari that some church member did something, and she'd go find them and take up for him,” says another congregant. ”She was always defending him, even when he was wrong.”

At times, Kari gave Jill knowing glances, poking fun at one or another of the church members, as he or she ranted about Matt's latest sermon or the direction the church was taking. ”So, do you want to wrestle?” Kari sometimes asked angry church members. At first, they wouldn't know how to respond. Then they'd laugh and walk away.

There were times when Kari, too, talked about Matt, but never truly complaining, just rolling her eyes, and saying, ”Well, you know Matt.”

One thing she didn't seem to mind talking about was s.e.x. As she had in Waco, Kari complained that Matt seemed overly interested in lovemaking. ”Well, you know Matt's not going to get any,” she said with a grimace. To Jill, it sounded as if Kari didn't like s.e.x with Matt. So much so that she called it her ”wifely duty.”

”It never seemed romantic between them,” says Jill. ”It was more like they were best friends. He'd dunk her in the pool, and they'd both laugh and chase each other, like kids.”

As the year wore on, Kari started complaining about the neighborhood in Mesquite, saying Matt was certain they had a Peeping Tom. Before long, they'd sold the house and moved closer to the church. Later, a church member wondered what was really behind the move. ”I always felt Matt kept Kari nervous,” he says. ”I thought maybe Matt told her about that Peeping Tom wanting to upset her, since no one else I knew out there complained of one.”

The second spring in Dallas, as the anniversary of Ka.s.sidy's death approached, Kari wrote in her Bible: ”Don't grow weary doing good. Because your reward is heaven!”

Jill noticed that her friend didn't seem as sad as she had the year before during the anniversary. ”There was a real difference,” says Jill, who brought Kari ice cream to a.s.suage her sorrow. ”It wasn't like the previous year; it was easing.”

That year, a job teaching leaders.h.i.+p and business cla.s.ses opened up at Tarleton State University in Waco. Kari applied, and Jill wrote her a recommendation, touting Kari's pa.s.sion, high energy and self-motivation. When she got the position, Kari began traveling to Waco one evening a week to teach. The result was that her schedule became even more crowded as she juggled caring for the girls, her day job teaching elementary school, teaching at Tarleton, and finis.h.i.+ng up her master's. What complicated the situation even more was that Matt was having increasing problems at Northlake.

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