Part 11 (1/2)
”Of course.”
If she was going to sleep with the man she ought to at least be able to tell him why, after informing him she wouldn't be kissing him anymore she was suddenly planning to become as intimate as two people can be. ”I can't stop thinking about it,” she said softly, shrugging. ”It's getting in the way of my work. I'm usually not a daydreamer. I'm very efficient.”
”I've noticed.”
”I feel like if we just do it already I'll stop thinking about it.”
”Such a romantic.”
He'd think she was a complete die-hard romantic if he knew how much her fantasies revolved around that big four-poster. Ever since she'd first seen him stretched out all scruffy and gorgeous she'd a.s.sociated him with the bed, and adding the two together equaled hot s.e.x in her mind. Maybe she was being stupid, as she accused herself about six times a day, but the truth was she couldn't keep wasting time dreaming about having s.e.x with the man. She'd be better to do it.
Why not? As Gloria had reminded her, she and Rob were both single, and she was young and healthy with a normal s.e.x drive. n.o.body was going to get hurt. Why shouldn't they indulge?
His mouth drew closer to hers and, as she lifted her face to his as though compelled, she retained enough sense to say, ”I have some rules.”
The forward motion stopped.
The s.e.xual intensity in his glance dissipated replaced by a glint of humor. ”Of course you do,” he said. ”Do I need to go wash my hands first? Change the bedding? Brush my teeth?”
”No.” She laughed. ”Well, brus.h.i.+ng your teeth is probably a good idea. I'll brush mine, too.”
”You're a head case, you know that, right?”
”I wasn't going to say any of those things. I was thinking of setting some ground rules.”
”Darling, the rules of s.e.x are simple. n.o.body gets hurt, and everybody has a good time.” He stepped even closer. ”And I will make d.a.m.n sure you have a good time.”
Warmth was stealing over her. He might be half joking, but the other half was dead serious. She had a strong feeling that this man would be generous in bed, making sure his partner had at least as much fun as he did.
”That's not- I mean, I'm sure you will but...” She shook her head. ”Oh, this is ridiculous. The only rule I wanted to suggest is that we are very clear-this is one night only.”
He seemed completely taken aback. ”One night only?”
”Yes.”
”But we'll barely get started.”
”Well, I've thought about it, and that's all I want.”
”I don't know.” He scratched his cheek where stubble had formed. ”I don't do my best work under pressure.”
She glanced significantly at his injured leg. ”Your profession is all about performing under pressure. I saw the pictures you took in Africa. During the gun battle when you got hurt. They're amazing.”
”Thanks. But this is different”
What she didn't tell him was how she'd practically trembled imagining him in that war zone in constant danger. She could never lose her heart to a man like that. She had to be so careful. Maybe she was stupid even to consider sleeping with him once, but she was suddenly tired of living so rigidly by her rules. Besides, her rules were designed for maximum efficiency of her time. If she was losing sleep having twitchy, hot fantasies about Rob, wouldn't it be easier just to sleep with the guy and be done with it? Then she could put her fantasies behind her.
He wasn't playing according to her program, however. He gazed at her as though she might be more than a little crazy. ”I don't know. I've never been the type for one-night stands.” He paused, ”Well, not since college. I think I'd feel used.”
She burst out laughing. ”I'm not using you.”
”A deal for one night of s.e.x? Even if I want more? What would you call it?”
”I guess I thought we'd be giving each other pleasure for a night. Not that anyone was using anyone else.”
”I don't see it that way.” He took a step back. ”This is probably a bad idea. I'm not at my best mentally or physically right now.”
Her astonishment at being turned down by a man for uncomplicated, no-strings-attached s.e.x evaporated when she searched his face and saw real hesitance there. He wasn't playing a game. And then suddenly his behavior made perfect sense.
All his bl.u.s.ter about feeling used, and his earlier comments about everything working properly came back to her.
He was worried about his performance. His leg was far from healed which meant they'd have to make some adjustments. Maybe he wasn't as certain everything was working as he'd told her he was.
He probably thought she was playing games when all she was trying to do was protect her heart. Maybe if she was contemplating being intimate with her body, she should at least let the man into some of what was going on in her head.
”Rob,” she began, then didn't know where to go from there. ”Rob. You are the s.e.xiest, most interesting man I've met in a really long time.”
He didn't appear to be over-the-moon flattered. He simply stood there and listened. She supposed it came from being a journalist. Listening was a skill and not jumping into speech kept the other person talking. As she knew well from her own profession. People often thought they wanted a certain kind of property but sometimes when she listened and encouraged them to talk a different vision would emerge. Not what they thought they wanted, but what would make them happy.
Now he was looking at her and she was going to tell him more than she'd intended. ”The thing is I've got a busy career and I'm so focused. I don't want to be distracted by a relations.h.i.+p.”
He shook his head. ”Who said anything about a relations.h.i.+p? All I said was I'm not a big fan of one-night stands. I'm too old for that c.r.a.p. I'd have thought you were, too.”
”I am. I don't normally indulge like that either. But. Oh, this is so hard. I have this little problem where I...get involved with men I've been intimate with. I don't want to fall for you and then have you break my heart when you go back to war zones and put your life in danger again. So I need to balance the wanting to sleep with you against the fear of losing you. And the only way I can reconcile the two things is to go into this with a very short-term goal.”
”One night.”
”Yes.”
”That's the craziest d.a.m.n thing I've ever heard.”
She was more let down than she'd have believed possible. She'd really wanted to have one night with him, one night of memories she could enjoy without risking her foolish heart. ”So you won't do it?”
He glared at her. ”Of course I'll do it. I'm a man. I haven't had a woman in months. You're always underfoot smelling good and looking good. Yeah, I'll take the deal. But I don't like it.”
She smiled at the grumpiness in his tone. And in relief. ”I understand.” She took a deep breath feeling a little shaky now they'd made the decision.
She pulled her electronic organizer out and clicked to her Week at a Glance. ”Okay. When do you want to do this?”
A large and very masculine hand reached out and, before she guessed his intent, grabbed the organizer out of her grasp and set it ungently on the table. ”How about now?”
”Now? But I was going to bring my nightdress and things over.”
”You won't need a nightdress,” he informed her stepping closer.
10.