Part 13 (1/2)
”You should just talk to Baker directly,” Wally says.
”And say what, Wall?” Clay says. ”'Hey Bake, I think you're hot, wanna hook up again'?”
”Is that what this is?” Hannah says, her voice sharp with emotion. ”You just want to hook up with her?”
Clay's entire countenance changes in an instant. His eyebrows draw together and his eyes narrow with scrutiny. He stares intently at Hannah, as if searching something out in her, and she remembers, with startling accuracy, the way she felt when they first became friends: that he possessed some secret truth she had never known, some kind of raw power that enabled him to understand people, to detect their insecurities, and ultimately to sway them to his side.
”No,” Clay says finally, the intense look still present in his eyes. ”Of course not. I think she's the prettiest girl I've ever seen-I've thought that for years-and I want to hook up with her again, yeah, but it's more than that. There's just something about her that makes me want to know her better. But I'm not sure how to do that. I'm not sure how to move beyond the physical stuff.”
Neither Hannah nor Wally responds. Hannah feels a weird looseness inside of her, like her muscles have gone slack. Clay continues to look at her with his intense eyes, but there's a shade of uncertainty to them now, a tinge of pleading.
”I don't know,” Hannah says after a moment.
Clay sighs in frustration and runs a hand through his hair. Hannah studies him-his tree-dark hair and eyes, his firm mouth, his strong jaw-and thinks inexplicably of the primordial Adam.
Clay shakes his head back and forth. ”She's so hard to figure out. It feels like I've known her forever, but I still don't get her. I don't even know, like, the little s.h.i.+t about her. I mean, you know that stuff, Han. Like, her favorite book and color and everything. Don't you?”
Hannah looks away from him.
”Han?”
”Perks,” she says.
”What?”
Her chest swells. ”The Perks of Being a Wallflower,” she says, unable to keep a sharpness from her voice. ”She named her dog after it.”
”Oh. Yeah. And what's her favorite color?”
Hannah looks at the sun until it blinds her. Then she looks back to Clay, but she can no longer see him through the imprint of the sun on her eyes.
”Yellow,” she says.
”Yellow,” he repeats. ”Got it.”
”I still think you should just talk to her,” Wally says.
”Maybe,” Clay says, his eyes focused on the water. ”We'll see how it goes at Tyler's party tonight.”
They eat a late dinner with the Landry's-Mrs. Landry cooks pork chops-and then shower in preparation for the party. ”So you're telling me there's going to be no drinking there?” Dr. Landry says in an accusatory tone, staring Clay down when they're about to leave.
”Not that I've heard of,” Clay says innocently. ”If there is, we'll come home.”
”Be back by one.”
”One?”
”You want to make it 12:30?”
”No, sir.”
”Stay together,” Mrs. Landry says. ”And be good.”
They walk through the cooling night air, down chalk-white sidewalks and past patches of gra.s.s so green they almost look fake. Clay and Baker take the lead, both of them dressed with social precision, Clay in a salmon-colored Polo s.h.i.+rt and Baker in her favorite navy sundress. Luke and Joanie walk behind them, swinging each other's hands loosely between them, Luke pointing out which beach houses he's going to buy when he's older, changing his mind on every new block. Hannah and Wally follow last, both of them quiet, an easy current of companions.h.i.+p between them.
”That one's just lovely,” Luke says, pointing to a flamingo-pink two-story. ”I can buy that when I go through my gay phase.”
”We should live here all the time,” Joanie says, swinging Luke's hand with exaggerated silliness. ”Let's just quit school and get jobs lifeguarding.”
”We should all agree to come down here in the summers,” Clay calls back to them. ”You know, during college and when we're in our 20s and everything. We can all rent a house together.”
”You and your fantasies,” Joanie says. ”It's like you think we're in a sorority or something.”
”Six-Pack for life,” Clay says, raising his left hand and right pointer finger in the air.
There are very few people at Tyler's house when they arrive. ”What's up,” Tyler says, drawing out the last syllable as he greets them at the door. ”Y'all came on the earlier side of things.”
”Didn't want to miss the fun,” Clay says, clapping him on the shoulder. ”Can you hook us up with some drinks? We couldn't sneak anything past my parents.”
”No worries. Come on in and have whatever you want. This one's gonna be a rager.”
Hannah catches Baker's eye as the six of them move to step over the threshold. Rager, Hannah mouths at her, lifting her eyebrows mockingly. Baker shakes her head and bites her lip, and Hannah can tell she's fighting a smile.
They follow Clay into the house, waving hi and calling h.e.l.lo to the cla.s.smates they pa.s.s as they walk by. Clay leads them to a high kitchen counter and they all circle around it, preparing to start their ritual.
Clay pours six shots of whiskey and raises his gla.s.s in a toast. ”To an amazing spring break,” he says, his deep voice resonating around their circle, ”and to my amazing friends.”
”To our beautiful sorority,” Luke says, winking at Joanie.
”And our beautiful faces,” Joanie says. ”And just how beautiful we are in general.”
”To Luke's future pink house,” Wally says, saluting him with his shot gla.s.s.
”Amen,” Luke says.
”Han?” Clay prompts, eyeing her from across the circle, and she can tell that he's feeling her out, that he's checking to see if the two of them are okay.
Hannah elevates her shot gla.s.s higher. ”To our friends,” she says, ”just like Clay said.”
”May we always stay friends,” Baker says, ”no matter what happens.”
”Let's drink these already!” Joanie says, clanging her shot gla.s.s against the communal pile.
They throw their shots back and slam the gla.s.ses on the counter, each of them sticking their tongues out and gasping in reaction to the hard alcohol, and suddenly Tyler appears and hangs his arms over Clay and Luke.
”Well come on, y'all,” he says. ”Come join the rest of us heathens.”
Half an hour later, the party has swelled to include another 40 or so St. Mary's kids, so that Hannah has a hard time moving from one side of the house to the other. The music blares so loudly that she has to yell to Joanie to make herself heard, and eventually Joanie throws her hands up and mouths Can't hear before she pulls Luke over to the middle of the room to dance.
Several of the other senior girls have drawn Baker into conversation, and Hannah watches them curiously, noting their excessive smiling, their arm grabbing, and the small sips they take from their Solo cups. Baker stands confidently before them, her hand on her hip and her hair hanging loose over her sundress.