Part 11 (2/2)

Nicola took a deep breath, thankful to have something on which to focus her attention, something to distract herself from the burden of her awareness of Matt the man, rather than Matt the employer.

Once she started talking about the conference, Matt kept the ball rolling, making several succinct points about what she had lea mt and gradually she felt a little of her tension starting to slip away from her.

If it could just be like this for the rest of the weekend; if she could just force herself to focus on business instead of letting her emotions get the upper hand, she might have some chance of preserving her sanity and concealing the truth from Matt. That would be the final humiliation, if he should guess how she felt.

By the time they went into. dinner she was almost beginning to relax a little, although she tensed up again when Matt put his hand beneath her elbow a polite gesture, and one which she knew had been made to her by any number of men in the past, but none of them had had the effect on her that Matt had. She knew he must have felt the jolt of tension that went through her as he touched her. She saw the way he frowned down at her when she immediately tried to step back from him, and then realised that the crush of people heading for the dining-room made that impossible.

In fact, probably because of her lack of height, she actually discovered she was being carried for wards and almost pushed off her feet.

As she stumbled a little. Matt reached for her, pulling her into the protection of his own body. It was a protective, non-s.e.xual gesture he would no doubt have made to any woman in the same situation, but its effect on Nicola was devastating.

She literally went weak at the knees, a deep, wrenching shudder vibrating through her so that she clutched automatically at his arm for support before she realised exactly what she was doing. When she did realise, she tried to draw back, but it was too late. Mart's free arm was firmly around her, holding her so close to him that she could feel the heat of his body, and the heavy, slightly unsteady thump of his heartbeat.

When she tried to move. Matt said tersely to her, ”Let's just wait a few seconds and let the first crush get past us.”

He seemed to be murmuring the words right into her ear, the sensation of his warm breath against that delicate orifice causing such a welter of sensations inside her that she could hardly control her reaction to them. Beneath the fine silk of her dress she felt i' r b.r.e.a.s.t.s swell and lift, her nipples tightening, a corresponding tiny, pulsing ache beginning deep within her body, coupled with an overwhelming desire to let herself relax against him, to press herself even closer to him, to touch her lips to his throat, his jaw, his mouth. She had to swallow hard on the small, anguished whimper that scaled the back of her throat. Guilt and self-disgust twisted through her stomach. She found she could hardly breathe, and knew that her pulse-rate must be wildly out of control, but she dared not move, could not move until she felt Matt step back from her slightly, relaxing the protecting guard of his arm as he told her, ”I think we can go in now.”

Not daring to look at him, she fell into step beside him, only half able to concentrate on what he was saying. something about not really understanding the crowd's eagerness to eat a meal which experience must have warned them would be adequate rather than enticing.

They were the last to arrive at their particular table, and Nicola's heart sank as she realised that she was the only woman on it.

The other men were obviously all enjoying themselves, to judge by the male laughter coming from the table as they approached it.

Even though she told herself that she was being an idiot, and an old-fas.h.i.+oned one at that, Nicola found that she was glad of Matt's protective bulk, as he pulled out her chair for her so that she could sit down.

The silence that followed their arrival as the men turned to look at her, was very unnerving, but nothing prepared her for the shock she received when, as Matt sat down next to her, she heard someone drawling unpleasantly, - ”Well, well, of all the coincidences. So you two are together again, are you? Permanently, or is it just another one-night stand? I seem to recollect that Nicola here excels at those...”

Jonathon. Jonathon Hendry here. and what was more he had recognised both of them! Nicoh could hardly believe it. She was conscious of i return of her earlier nausea, combined with ar even more intense need to escape---not just from the avid curiosity she could see in all those pair; of male eyes, not even from Jonathon, and hii malice, but far, far more important, from Mat himself.

Whenever she had tortured herself wit! visualising the scene where she had been con fronted with the past, she had never imaginec anything like this. never dreamed that it woulc be Jonathon who would denounce her.

She was barely conscious of pus.h.i.+ng her chaii back and standing up.

Matt saying her name was a distant perception, a pin-p.r.i.c.k of awareness ira vast sea of drowning humiliation from whicl- she had to escape.

There were still diners straggling into the dining-room. She b.u.mped into several of them ir her haste to escape, unaware of the looks of curiosity and concern that followed her unsteady flight.

At the table she had just left Matt stood up watching her. He was just about to follow her when Jonathon stood up as well, apologising insincerely.

”Sorry about that, ” old man. Didn't realise I was putting my foot in it. ”

He froze as Matt turned his head and looked at him.

”I've never liked you, Hendry. That's why I ceased doing business with your firm,” Matt told him levelly.

”I don't consider myself to be a violent man, in fact, normally I find physical violence despicable.

Don't tempt me to change my mind, will you? ”

The other men at the table were shuffling uncomfortably in their seats. It was quite obvious to them who would be the victor in any kind of combat between them, whether verbal, mental or physical. Matt watched as Jonathon's face turned puce. He moved swiftly from one foot to the other and started to bl.u.s.ter.

”It was just a joke, old man... Didn't mean anything. After all, she hardly kept it a secret that she'd spent the night with you, did she?

It was obvious from the state she was in when she came to work the next day what had happened. Must say I was surprised. Quite the little prude, she made herself out to be, and then goes off with you right in the middle of my father's birthday do! Surprised to see you're still together, though. After all, a man doesn't--' ”I think you've said enough,” Matt interrupted him acidly. Then he added contemptuously, ”I'm sure you gentlemen will understand if I don't join you for dinner... I've suddenly lost my appet.i.te.”

As he walked away from the table, he was frowning. Nicola was that girl from all those years ago. that tiny, immature little girl who had so carelessly and so dangerously--so desperately, almost--flirted with him and then. Strolling through the foyer, he remembered how tempted he had been by her even then, how hard he had had to fight to stop himself from mindlessly and dangerously giving in to the desire she had aroused in him, not just for his sake but for hers, too. She had still been a baby, really, for all that atrocious make-up and that wild ma.s.s of hair.

He paused, his eyes narrowing slightly as he looked back down the years. She had recognised him, of course, even if he had not recognised her, and to judge from her reaction to Jonathon's gibe. He looked thoughtfully across the foyer, his frown deepening as he remembered how at the time he had intended to talk to her as though she were one of his younger sisters, to warn her of the danger she was running--but he had been due to leave for the States, and then there had been the complication of the unexpected surge of desire for her.

He turned round and walked back to the reception desk. The girl behind it looked at him a little uncertainly as he made his request, but then, after a moment's consideration, she handed him what he had asked for.

Upstairs in her room, Nicola was frantically packing her things into her case, with no clear idea of exactly how she was going to get home, only a burning need to escape from the scene of her appalling humiliation just as quickly as she could.

She hadn't dared look directly at Matt when Jonathon had made his denouement, and afterwards she had felt too physically ill to do anything other than give in to her need for flight.

Now as she packed, she was still shaking, s.h.i.+vering, really, like a terrified animal. Why had she not realised that Jonathon might be at the conference? Why had she not known that he would recognise her--both of them?

That way she could have. What? Refused to attend the conference? She s.h.i.+vered more intensely.

She would rather a thousand times that Matt had recognised her himself, no matter how painful that would have been, rather than endure what had just happened, although it wasn't so much the public humiliation that had panicked her.

It was what Matt must be thinking. knowing now who she actually was. remembering. And he must have remembered. She made a small, anguished sound she didn't even hear, the sound of an animal caught in a trap.

Well, it was over now. There was no way she could continue working for Matt, no way he would want to have her working for him. Even if she hadn't made a total fool of herself by rus.h.i.+ng out of the dining-room like that, the very fact that she was who she was. She had no idea what she was going to tell her parents. Her mouth twisted wryly. Probably the truth. She had no resources left to conjure up some suitably convincing fiction, and anyway, she was tired of living a lie. of having to pretend . of daily, almost hourly being terrified that Matt was going to look at her and remember.

She didn't hear the pa.s.s-key turn in the lock, and her first intimation of Matt's presence was when she turned her head and saw him standing in the door, sombrely watching her.

Immediately she tensed, unable to stop the wave of hot colour that burned over her skin.

”Good, you've almost packed,” she heard him saying evenly.

She went as white as she had been red, unable to control her reaction to the pain she was suffering.

She had known what would happen, of course . had known that he wouldn't tolerate any kind of relations.h.i.+p between them now, either personal or professional--but still, to hear him saying it, to see the coldness in his eyes and to hear the remoteness in his voice made Nicola feel physically sick with an anguish she simply could not control.

She hadn't expected that he would do this, that he would follow her up here to watch while she left. to make sure that she left, she reflected.

When he'd opened the door, she had been in the act of putting the last of her things into her case, and now, as she stood there s.h.i.+vering, he came towards her, closing the door behind him, saying curtly.

”Is that everything?”

Numbly she nodded, biting down hard on her bottom lip to stop herself from crying.

Somehow or other she managed to deposit what she was holding in the case on the bed, but when she tried to close it she was trembling so much, felt so weak that even that simple task was beyond her.

When Matt pushed her out of the way she flinched physically from him, sick with self- disgust and the horror of what had happened.

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