Part 34 (1/2)

”I know-you b.a.s.t.a.r.d!”

”I'll see you.”

I got in the car and went straight down to work. Everybody was waiting by the Ministry of Defense Police lodge.

”What's happened?”

”Jack s.h.i.+t.”

We drove to Heathrow at Warp Speed Two, me very p.i.s.sed off on the backseat and not involved in the banter.

. As soon as we arrived, I phoned the hospital. Nothing. I checked in and phoned again.

”Anything happened?”

”Who are you?”

”I'm the father.”

”Okay, wait.”

I waited forever. ”Nothing yet.”

I went and had another coffee. The other boys were up at the bar, having a drink.

I phoned again. Still nothing. It was time to board the aircraft. One more call. Nothing. just as we were lining up to hand in the boarding pa.s.ses, I gave it one more try.

”It's McNab again.”

”Wait, wait. I think her mother's going to come and speak to you.”

I heard the phone go down and footsteps running along the corridor.

Her mother picked up the receiver, out of breath.

”Just happened! A couple of minutes ago!”

”All the arms, all the legs?”

”Yes.”

”What is it?”

”It's a girl. She's beautiful. I don't know the weight yet, but everything's fine.”

A girl!

I knew her name was Kate. We'd already worked out what it was going to be. It was quite a shock. It wasn't high elation. I felt numbed; I just thought, I'm a father now-and it must have been very smoky in the departures lounge that day because as I put the phone down, my eyes were watering.

I joined the others on the aircraft, and Paul said, ”She had it?”

”Yeah, it's a girl.”

”Congratulations, mate.” He shook my hand, all smiles. ”It feels great, doesn't it?”

Even Paul, who lived his life somersaulting from good time to good time, could remember what it felt like. He had a pa.s.sion about his daughter that I'd never been able to understand; it seemed so strange, coming from him. This bloke who didn't seem to care about anything, just having fun and working and really going for it, down in his heart and at the back of his head, continuously, was his daughter. Now I understood.

Now I knew exactly how he felt.

One of the benefits of going on a team job was that we traveled club cla.s.s, so it was straight into the little bottles of champagne as we toasted my good news. It was a long flight, and the six of us got quietly p.i.s.sed.

For weeks I was waiting for more news. Letters always had to go to Hereford for collation and were then sent on to an emba.s.sy or a consulate or the agency that we were working for in whichever country.

It took awhile for them to get to us, and I was gagging for a picture.

At last two letters turned up. I could feel that there were pictures inside. As I ripped open the envelopes, blokes gathered around.

Two-Combs looked over my shoulder and said, ”She's beautiful, isn't she?”

”f.u.c.k off,” I said. ”She's all greasy and covered in mucus.

However, yes, she is.”

Then we all sat around cooing and admiring.

It was a really s.h.i.+fty job for me, tucked away on the side of a mountain for weeks on end, wis.h.i.+ng that I was back in Hereford. But you have to make a positive out of a negative, which in this case was that at least it was another part of the world I hadn't seen.

I came back in late May 1987, having lost two stone. with dysentery, but not in such a bad way as was Two-Combs, who was diagnosed as having typhoid.

Two days later they decided it was a rupturing appendix.

We got back to the camp and unloaded all the kit. Fat Boy phoned his wife to come and pick him up and said he'd drop me home.

As we drove around to the house, I saw the curtain twitch, and then Fiona came out onto the path with a bundle in her arms.

I gave Fiona a kiss, then took the baby, all wrapped up and asleep. I peeked inside the shawl and saw her face for the first time.

I had a shock; her lip looked deformed. However, the most beautiful deformed baby in the world.

”What's wrong with her?” I said. ”Is she all right?”

”She's only sucking her lip.” Fiona laughed. ”Don't worry, she's perfect.”

Mr. and Mrs. Fat Boy came over, clucking like two hens. They were as smitten as I was, and that was the start of it; for the next few years they were producing children like people possessed.

It was wonderful to have some time with Kate. I spent hours watching her little hands all clenched up, and I kept thinking: I made that! I hated the time that she was asleep and willed her to wake up; I soon learned that all they're doing at that age is sleeping and s.h.i.+tting, but that was beside the point.

Eno and I got an approach to take a two-year sabbatical from the Regiment and join the ”Det,” an intelligence unit operating in Northern Ireland. I was on the M.O.E team at the time, and Eno was on the sniper team.

We were having an administration morning in the crew room, dragging our kit out, scrubbing it' and cleaning weapons. The clerk came over and said, ”Andy and Eno, the squadron O.C wants to see you.”