Part 17 (1/2)
Her rule over the strange cost whoarded her as a Goddess, and as such she orshi+pped After ht al was so mysteriously intertwined with hers, whom she loved also with the intensest huht her out in this hidden corner of the world
More, thrice he had proved his unalterable fidelity to her First, by his rejection of the royal and beautiful, if undisciplined, Atene Secondly, by clinging to Ayesha when she seemed to be repulsive to every natural sense Thirdly, after that hoh with her unutterable perfections before his eyes this did not appear to be so wonderful-by steadfastness in the face of her terrible avowal, true or false, that she had won her gifts and hih some dim, unholy pact with the powers of evil, in the unknown fruits and consequences of which he must be involved as the price of her possession
Yet Ayesha was htest moods it was clear to me that those skeletons at the feast of which she had spoken were her continual coe it in dark hints and veiled allegories or allusions Crushed though her rival the Khania Atene ht be, also she was still jealous of her
Perhaps ”afraid” would be a better word, for some instinct seemed to warn Ayesha that soon or late her hour would coain, and that then it would be her own turn to drink of the bitter waters of despair
What troubled her more a thousandfold, however, were her fears for Leo As may well be understood, to stand in his inti, and yet not to be allowed so much as to touch her lips, did not conduce to his physical or , especially as he knew that the wall of separation must not be climbed for at least two years Little wonder that Leo lost appetite, grew thin and pale, and could not sleep, or that he implored her continually to rescind her decree and marry hiated thereto by Leo, and I may add ain as to the reasons of this self-denying ordinance All she would tell me, however, was that between them rose the barrier of Leo's nated with the mysterious virtue of the Vapour of Life, it was not wise that she should take hih a long-lived one, she was still a wo smile, and she answered-”Art so sure, my Holly? Tell me, do your women wear such jewels as that set upon ht which glowed about her forehead
More, she began slowly to stroke her abundant hair, then her breast and body Wherever her fingers passed the ht was born, until in that darkened roo-she shi+mmered from head to foot like the water of a phosphorescent sea, a being glorious yet fearful to behold Then she waved her hand, and, save for the gentle radiance on her brow, became as she had been
”Art so sure, my Holly?” Ayesha repeated ”Nay, shrink not; that flaine it, as I have noted thou dost is; for surely no woht and live, nor has so arrew angry
”I a, Ayesha,” I answered, ”except that thou wilt es Say, art thou a spirit then?”
”We are all spirits,” she said reflectively, ”and I, perhaps, more than some Who can be certain?”
”Not I,” I answered ”Yet I i Tellast thou to Leo, and as he to thee?”
She looked at me very solemnly and answered-”Does my memory deceive me, Holly, or is it written in the first book of the Law of the Hebrehich once I used to study, that the sons of Heaven cahters of men, and found that they were fair?”
”It is so written,” I answered
”Then, Holly, hter of Heaven caht it not chance that for her great sin, she, this high, fallen star, who had befouled her ith his love, made divine by pain and faithful even to a th I saw light and sprang up eagerly, but in a cold voice she added: ”Nay, Holly, cease to question s of which I can but speak to thee in figures and in parables, not to mock and bewilder thee, but because I ht me no mortal, since she told us that man and spirit h with me, as without doubt now, as in other lives, she and that old Shaht So bid ives me pain to say him nay-ah! thou knowest not how much
”Moreover, I will declare myself to thee, old friend; whatever else I be, at least I as of my best beloved and not myself be moved See, I have set a curb upon desire and drawn it until my heart bleeds; but if he pursueslove, who knoweth but that I shall kindle in his flame and throw the reins of reason to the winds?
”Oh, then together we ether dare the torrent that rages at its foot, and there perchance be whel, but a little space, and we reach the bridge my wisdom found, and cross it safely, and beyond for ever ride on at ease through the happy meadows of our love”
Then she was silent, nor would she speak more upon the matter Also-and this was the worst of it-even noas not sure that she told me the truth, or, at any rate, all of it, for to Ayesha's ht thrown from the different faces of a cut jewel We never could be certain which shade of it she was pleased to present, hether by preference or of necessity, as she herself had said, spoke of such secrets in figures of speech and parables
It is a fact that to this hour I do not knohether Ayesha is spirit or woman, or, as I suspect, a blend of both I do not know the liinning of her love for Leo was true-which personally I doubt-or but a fable, invented by her h it, as she had hinted, pictured on the flame for her own hidden purposes
I do not knohether when firsther on the Mountain she was really old and hideous, or did but put on that shape in our eyes in order to test her lover I do not knohether, as the priest Oros bore witness-which he may well have been bidden to do-her spirit passed into the body of the dead priestess of Hes, or whether when she seemed to perish there so htway from the Caves of Kor to this Central Asian peak
I do not knohy, as she was so powerful, she did not coh so est that some superior force forbade her to doour every thought, until at length we reached the predestined place and hour Also, as will appear, there were other things of which this is not the time to speak, whereby I am still , except that reatcalled Ayesha won the secret of life froed-although of this, remember, we have no actual proof-such life was to be attained by bathing in a certain emanation, vapour or essence; that she was possessed by a passion not easy to understand, but terrific in its force and i and one alone That through this passion also so of her countless days a burden, and leading the power and the wisdo, into abysses of anguish, suspense, and disappointment such as-Heaven be thanked!-we common men and women are not called upon to plumb
For the rest, should human eyes ever fall upon it, each reader must form his own opinion of this history, its true interpretation and significance These and the exact parts played by Atene and h not here
Well, as I have said, the upshot of it all was that Ayesha was devoured with anxiety about Leo Except in this e, his every as satisfied, and indeed forestalled Thus he was never again asked to share in any of the cereh, indeed, stripped of its rites and spiritual sye of Hes proved pure and harh It was but a diluted version of the Osiris and Isis worshi+p of old Egypt, from which it had been inherited, ration or reincarnation of souls and the possibility of drawing near to the ultiht and life
In fact, the head priestess and Oracle was only worshi+pped as a representative of the Divinity, while the teood works, although it is true that they still sighed for their lost authority over the country of Kaloon Thus they had hospitals, and during the long and severe winters, when the Tribes of the Mountain slopes were often driven to the verge of starvation, gave liberally to the destitute from their stores of food
Leo liked to be with Ayesha continually, so we spent each evening in her company, and much of the day also, until she found that this inactivity told upon hiour of clih she was always haunted by terror lest any accident should befall hi out to kill the wild sheep and the ibex, which lived in nue of the chiefs and huntsmen of the Tribes, hom thus he became well acquainted In this exercise, however, I accoave me pain
Once indeed such an accident did happen I was seated in the garden with Ayesha and watching her Her head rested on her hand, and she was looking with her wide eyes, across which the swift thoughts passed like clouds over a windy sky, or drea out vacantly towards the mountain snows Seen thus her loveliness was inexpressible, aaze upon it was an intoxication Conte it, I understood indeed that, like to that of the fabled Helen, this gift of hers alone-and it was but one of many-must have caused infinite sorrows, had she ever been permitted to display it to the world It would have driven hus and the women with jealousy and hate
And yet in what did her surpassing beauty lie? Ayesha's face and form were perfect, it is true; but so are those of some other women Not in these then did it live alone, but rather, I think, especially while what I may call her human moods were on her, in the soft ed in her splendid eyes Some such mystery may be seen, however faintly, on the faces of certain of the masterpieces of the Greek sculptors, but Ayesha it clothed like an ever-present at her divine
As I gazed at her and wondered thus, of a sudden she beca to a shoulder of the Mountain miles andexcept a sheet of distant snow
”Blind fool, canst thou not see that ot, thou hast no vision Take it now froe, nu current seemed to flow, upon my head, she muttered some sords
Instantly my eyes were opened, and, not upon the distant Mountain, but in the air before rips with a great snow-leopard, whilst the chief and hunts an opportunity to pierce the savage brute with their spears and yet leave hiid with terror, swayed to and fro at my side, till presently the end ca knife into the bowels of the leopard, which at once grew lile or two in the bloodstained snow, lay still Then he rose, laughing and pointing to his rent garan to bandage soh with strips of linen torn from his under-robe
The vision vanished suddenly as it had co heavily upon asp-”That danger also has passed by, but howcanst thou endure!”
Then her wrath flaainst the chief and his huntsers and sent the the his companions to her very presence
”Thou seest what days are mine, my Holly, aye, and have been these many years,” she said; ”but those hounds shall pay ony”
Nor would she suffer me to reason with her
Four hours later Leo returned, li after the litter in which, instead of himself, for whom it was sent, lay a mountain sheep and the skin of the snow-leopard that he had placed there to save the hunts for hi to hiled solicitude and reproaches He listened awhile, then asked-”How dost thou know anything of this ht to thee”
”I know because I saw,” she answered ”The worst hurt was above thy knee; hast thou dressed it with the salve I sent?”
”Not I,” he said ”But thou hast not left this Sanctuary; how didst thou see? By thy ic?”
”If thou wilt, at least I saw, and Holly also saw thee rolling in the snoith that fierce brute, while those curs ran round like scared children”
”I aic,” interrupted Leo crossly ”Cannot a man be left alone for an hour even with a leopard of the mountain? As for those brave men--”
At thislow
”As for those 'brave men,' I will deal with the herself-for she never appeared unveiled to the people of the Mountain-she swept froone, Horace?” asked Leo ”To one of her services in the Sanctuary?”