Chapter 63 (1/2)

“…Just what the h.e.l.l does Leon have to do with this?”

Thrown off by his words, I inadvertently lapsed into my usual way of speaking. Even that time I tried to hit him, my tone hadn’t slipped, but I honestly didn’t give a s.h.i.+t about it now.

It was that disconcerting for me, hearing those words a.s.sociated with the topic we’d just been discussing.

“Oh? As I thought, it’s a shock to hear Leon’s name come up, then?”

“…Shut up.”

When he hit the mark, my irritation intensified.

It no longer had anything to do with manners anymore. Now Palmira, who I’d stopped just earlier, was all shaken up. But I didn’t have the leeway to worry about her.

Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it.

In my heart, my instincts set my internal alarm bells to maximum. Lucien’s words, his eyes, were dangerous. Like they were when we met before.

Inside me, [Chris] awoke.

— But is it okay like this?

Isn’t this just denial, simply averting my eyes from reality?

Shouldn’t I know the truth?

[Chris] and Leon. And Lucien, too. The truth about them.

I have to know.

That’s right, I have to know.

I’m going to disappear from this body, and after that, what will become of [Chris] and Leon?

That’s why I have to know.

For Leon’s sake, I have to know. It’s coming — the day that I disappear.

My chest p.r.i.c.kled, suffocating. Unconsciously, I placed my hand against it.

It’s okay. It’s okay. This is right. This is what I should do. What I have to do.

Biting my lower lip, I fought it back.

“…What the h.e.l.l are you and Leon up to here?”

Steeling myself, I questioned Lucien.

“A seal on the verge of coming undone. A ma.s.s of magical power that will inevitably explode. The conclusion writes itself, doesn’t it? …It’s all about dealing with Tetra’s Heart.”

Well, duh.

If it’s about to break, fix it. Just that simple.

But, if that were all, I’d have nothing to do with this place to begin with.

Before I could press him further, Lucien continued.

” — Using you.”

In one breath, Lucien’s eyes turned ice cold.

It was like those eyes were looking, not at a human being, but a thing.

I clenched my teeth tightly.

It was more unpleasant than I imagined. Not the fact that I was being used.

But the fact that Leon had something to do with it.

a.s.suming Lucien was telling the truth, then in the end, the very last thing Leon was hiding from me, turned out to be this. It was too bitter a pill to swallow.

Mine was an essential existence. For this Heart. For the Imperial Capital.

“You get it, right? Leon’s reasons? Why he got mixed up with you?”

Stop.

I don’t want to picture it. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to believe it.

But what’s essential isn’t the likes of me.

“Shall I tell you how we’re going to solve this? To be precise, what we want is [Chris’s] body. [Chris] possesses the six-Attunement affinity that surpa.s.ses Tetra’s five. If it’s her, then she’ll be able to suppress Tetra’s power. It was for that purpose, Chris, that you came to the capital. What did Leon say to get you to come here, I wonder? But this is the truth. And that is the lie. You were deceived — you were betrayed.”

— Betrayed.

That time when I was found outside the city.

Being sheltered at the estate. Being given food to eat.

What he said in the bedroom.

What he spoke of the riverbank.

What he told me under the elm tree.

What — he did on the balcony.

That was the lie. This was the truth.

I —

I — was betra

“You’re — WROOOOOONG—!!!!”

“Chris!?”

Breaking off my racing thoughts, I screamed with all my might. Startled, Palmira looked at me. But I didn’t have any attention to spare for her.

I don’t know where my true feelings lie.

My reason and my instinct both — are about to reach that conclusion.

But, it’s wrong. It’s wrong. It’s wrong!

It’s not like that! I haven’t been betrayed! He hasn’t deceived me!

“Aha–! You’re a strong one! That was enough to finish [Chris]. But it seems like you’ll need more than that. You must love Leon quite a lot, huh? Or is it that you trust him? Believe in him?”

As I agonized over the conflict that threatened to consume me, Lucien pressed me for an answer.

‘That was enough to finish [Chris]’?

I don’t understand what he means. What is it? What the h.e.l.l is Lucien trying to do? What has he done? What the h.e.l.l has he done to me — to [Chris]?

“I’ll go into a bit more detail. Chris, you’re a nuisance. A vessel is needed to contain Tetra. The vessel being that body. But the contents? No thanks. They’re a bother. So, Chris. I’ll have to have you disappear for me. You should never have been in there in the first place. I’ll have you return her to me, shall I? [Chris], that is.”

“Where the h.e.l.l do you get off…! Get out? You don’t need to G.o.dd.a.m.n tell me twice!”

That’s right, I don’t need to be told a d.a.m.n thing. If you were to ask me to disappear, then yeah, when I return to my own body in due time, I’ll disappear from within [Chris].

But now isn’t the time.

Right now, it’s still impossible for me to return.

I still can’t do anything. Not for [Chris], not for Leon, and not for myself. Nothing.

“That’s where you’re wrong. You’re a swamp man. By nature, you weren’t supposed to be there. Who are you?”

“I’m Chris!”

When Lucien abruptly changed tack, I replied almost defensively.