Chapter 55 (1/2)

When I exited the room, accompanied by Leon, I found Aira outside. She was dressed as an ordinary maid.

The moment she saw me, her eyes went wide with shock.

“Big Sister! You woke up!”

“Mn, I’m sorry. I keep causing you worry.”

When Aira threw herself at me, just as she had last time, I could only catch her in my arms as I spoke.

For now, it looked like Aira was alright. As I absently stroked her head, I felt a sense of relief. Though the truth is, the one who worried her was me, so even shamelessness had its limits.

After burying her head in my chest and rubbing it for a time, Aira lifted her face as if she suddenly recalled something.

“B–Big Sister. Palmira is — ”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve got the gist of it.”

We’d had our rooms a.s.signed at the very beginning. Me, Palmira, and Aira, in that order.

And right now, Palmira was in hers.

In other words, the fact that she drew a sword on Leon had almost been swept under the rug. ‘Almost’ being the keyword. Unsurprisingly, her sword, at least, seemed to have been confiscated at Allie’s suggestion.

That night, following the disturbance, Palmira had been in hideously low spirits and would not leave the room. It was a shock, but even so, Aira, who was in relatively better shape, had been checking up on her several times a day.

“I see… it’s like you’re the only one who’s being burdened with all the worry. I’m sorry.”

“Not at all. It’s fine. More importantly, Big Sister. Palmira…”

“I know. I’ll take it from here.”

When she learned of Leon’s true ident.i.ty, Palmira was not her usual self. I never expected that she could possibly have had such a violent response.

In other words, she couldn’t forgive the ones responsible for destroying her country in the past.

To be honest, it’s not like I don’t understand.

When I think about the fact that my own hometown no longer exists, I’m not sure whether I’d be able to control myself either, if the prince of the Holy Kingdom were to stand before me.

“Sorry, Leon. I’m going by myself from here.”

“I understand.”

Even as he sighed, Leon smiled gently.

Seeing that, I suddenly reached my hand out to him, touching his cheek.

“Wha… Is something the matter?”

“Ah, no. It’s okay. I’m off.”

I pulled back my hand right away.

I simply remembered, for some reason, that I wasn’t able to touch Leon before I blacked out that night. Leaving Leon behind in his discomposure, satisfied with the warmth I felt against my palm, I knocked on the door to Palmira’s room.

“Palmira, I’m coming in.”

My tone deliberately nonchalant, I turned the k.n.o.b.

The door wasn’t locked. Not from the outside either, of course. It opened easily with just a turn of the k.n.o.b.

It was pitch-black on the other side of the door.

Well, it was just that the curtains inside were drawn. Faint sunlight came in through a gap between them. Dim as it was, it kept the room from sinking into total darkness.

Palmira was sitting on the bed.

She was completely hollow, the life leeched out of her. Her head hung slightly. Though her eyes were open, their usual penetrating gleam was gone, and they stared dully at the joint between wall and floor.

Her hair was a mess, her clothes in disarray, but without a single s.h.i.+ver, she was like a broken doll. She even seemed slightly emaciated.

“—-”

The scene, too painful to look at, made the breath catch in my throat. Even now she looked so unstable, like she would crumble at a touch.

This is dangerous. So my intuition told me.

After shooting Leon and Aira a brief glance and a nod, I stepped inside. I closed the door behind me. The room fell into darkness again, but I paid it no mind. Right now, it was better to avoid strong stimuli.

I slowly walked over to Palmira, who still showed no reaction at all. And so, without speaking, I smoothly sat down beside her.

“Palmira.”

Softly, I called out to her profile.

No response.

” — Palmira.”

Once more, I gently speak up. This time, her eyebrow twitched. Her gaze, its focus indefinite, pulled together and slowly turned to me.

“…Chris?”

Our eyes met. Nodding, I smiled and replied,

“Yeah. Morning, Palmira.”

Palmira’s figure back then, her sword drawn. The emotions she couldn’t afford to harbor, even in her chaos. But she might have nursed a grudge against the Empire, even so.

‘I don’t want to go to the capital.’

Palmira had said so. Though she still said she would come with me, she had probably been forcing herself.

She secluded herself in the carriage without looking at the city. Though I’d thought that it was as she said, that she didn’t want to go, maybe a greater emotion was brewing inside her that her behavior was meant to suppress.

Would I have been able to figure it out?

Well, I didn’t. Taking her curt words at face value, I intended to just leave it at that.

That wasn’t it, though.

I never even imagined the other side of that rugged honesty.

“Chris, I…”

“Yeah.”

“I…”

Palmira was trying to tell me something. But perhaps unable to express it well, she didn’t say another word.

Her eyes were conflicted.

She must’ve been full of things she wanted to say. She wanted to communicate, but there were so many things she wanted me to know.

Too many, or perhaps she was scared about whether they would get across to me. She hesitated on her next words.

That’s how it seemed to me.

The long silence flowed on.

Palmira’s gaze busily jumped between the inside and outside.

She couldn’t help but be anxious. It was in her expression.

So.

“Palmira. It’s okay. Say whatever you like. I’ll listen. No matter what, I’ll listen.”

Even if I say so myself, wow, how’s that for empty plat.i.tudes? But I wanted to hear what Palmira was trying to tell me. I wanted to know. I wanted to understand.

I get it. I can’t say for sure that I’ll understand it all.

But still.

But still, I want you to talk to me.

Because I’ll definitely be able to understand far more then than if you were to say nothing at all.

“I — ”

–

–

” — I had a big sister. I never knew my parents. So she was all the family I had. By the time we understood the world around us, we were in the middle of war, and as a matter of course, we picked up our swords and fought the enemy.”

Maybe my words flipped a switch, but making up her mind, Palmira slowly began to speak.

Those were her memories of the war. She was fles.h.i.+ng out the story she’d shared before.

All the same, I wordlessly gave her my ear.

“It was a fact of life, so that was the only thing we could think about. We had nothing other than ourselves. For laughter, for comfort. For understanding. But — my big sister died. Before my eyes, just like that. Because she protected me. Because I was unprepared. Because I was reckless. She died because of me. She was kind. Strong. My aspiration. She was everything to me… Her face is already hazy. I can’t remember it anymore.”

She had an older sister?

I was hearing it for a second time, but Palmira’s past truly was brutal.

War as a fact of life. It was everything. She witnessed the human struggle between life and death as an everyday occurrence.

That’s why her one and only older sister would have been her precious refuge.

But reality stole that away from her along with everything else.