Chapter 41 (1/2)

Gloop, gloop.

Slowly, I sink to the bottom.

In those murky depths, in that total darkness, I can’t tell if my eyes are open or closed.

Water gliding, coiling, slips past my body.

Down, down.

Without struggle, without despair, without consciousness, without a heart, I descend to the bottom.

I don’t know when I entered.

I don’t know when I’ll arrive.

Though I can only fear the unknown, without a heart, there’s nothing to feel.

I just fall.

I don’t know when I’ll get there, but I head for the bottom.

It’s the perfect balance between a moment and eternity.

Something snakes around my body, something other than water.

I have no way of knowing what it is.

But strand after strand clings to me, as if tracing the contours of my body, as if making it anew.

As if molding a heart, a blank slate.

It was a clear transformation. I —

I — .

My eyes still can’t see.

My hands, my legs won’t move.

But my mind screams. I have to rise from this place.

My soul trembling, my will burning, my heart s.h.i.+ning, I rise to the water’s surface.

As naturally as going to sleep in the evening to awaken the next day.

— Rising from this swamp, I begin.

–

–

I woke up.

It was perfectly normal — no, not really. I knew that from a glance around the pitch-black room.

It was still dark. Dawn hadn’t broken yet.

The feel of the soft blanket wrapped around my body. I was lying in bed.

But something felt wrong. Not the waking up. It was that strange feeling.

It was a dream, but just a little earlier, it felt like something different… I couldn’t remember.

My wits still scattered, I lifted my sunken body off the bed.

“Ugh–!!”

For a moment, a stabbing headache attacked me. That woke me up all the way.

What’s with this headache?

I thought, but for just one moment. Hazily, I recalled what happened last night.

I was pretty sure I drank quite a lot of that mystery booze Leon recommended to me.

I didn’t have a single memory of anything that happened afterwards, but look, I drank that much. Long story short, I was hungover. The evidence: I was feeling awfully queasy.

But what’s this about, waking up this late at night?

Between the nausea and the headache, I definitely wasn’t going to get any more sleep tonight.

“Ueehh.”

Even so, the pain in my head was hard to take, but more than that, my nausea was getting worse. When I opened my eyes, my insides definitely woke up too. I felt something gradually rising from the area around my stomach.

I’m going to hurl.

Clapping my hand to my mouth, I looked around the room, just barely able to see by the tiny amount of light streaming in from outside. There’s no way I can throw up on the bed. Is there anything in here?

The room was surprisingly dreary, and I was the only one in it. Where did Aira and Palmira go? Are they by themselves, like me?

Aside from the bed, the window and the simple desk beside it were the only things to catch my eye. A washbasin and towel were placed on the desk. A pitcher and upside-down cup had been placed next to them.

These were definitely here so I could wash my face after getting up, right? But I couldn’t care less about stuff like that. I crawled off the bed, holding my throbbing head as I tried to slowly hurry over to the washbasin.

“UeeeeEEEeeehhh.”

When I finally struggled my way there, I released the near-critical pressure surging up from my stomach.

Panting and wheezing, I went again — and again, and again. In the quiet room, there were only the sounds of my groaning and retching.

“Ughhu…uh.”

Thanks to the strain of vomiting, the headache tightened like a vise, but I still felt just a little bit better.

There was an awful pounding at my temples, but as I held my head, it eased up bit by bit.

“Hoooo…haa.”

Forcing myself to take several deep breaths, I calmed my mind and body.

Picking up the pitcher, I didn’t bother with the cup, instead directly gulping down water from the spout.

The cold water washed the remaining vomit in my throat back down to my stomach. I drank too much and made myself sick again, so half of it ended up in the washbasin.

Then, I used the towel to wipe off the tears and snot and other miserable things that were sure to be all over my face.

“Phew.”

I had finally calmed down. My head still hurt, but throwing up had been the worst of it.

Even so, I wanted some fresh air. The stuff in the washbasin was turning the air in the room foul.

I went over to the window and threw open the shutters.

At that same moment, a fairly strong wind blew into the room. And it was cold. Thanks to the alt.i.tude here in the mountains, maybe?

But right now, I found that cold wind pleasant. Closing my eyes, I leaned forward and let it wash over my entire body. My headache seemed to improve along with the cooling of my body.

Opening my eyes, I surveyed my surroundings.

The room at the Brellwandy garrison couldn’t even compare to this one, located so high up. Looking down, I couldn’t even tell how many floors up I was.

But that was the very reason that the view here was wonderful. Beyond the walls that formed the city’s perimeter, I could see mountains. And above them, a sprawling sky of stars.

There were more clouds in the sky now than there were on the way here, their pure black shadows gliding quickly along. The wind might be stronger up in the sky.

Dropping my line of sight again, I could see pretty pinp.r.i.c.ks of light.

A sign that even at this time of night, many people were still out and about.

Fire blazed on top of the strategically placed watchtower, sentries huddled around and tending to it.

Then, the light from a tavern where merchants, or maybe off-duty soldiers, were walking around drinking. The lights of an inn.

Looking at them from above, they looked like finely crafted models. Human activity in miniature. The dancing lights. Me, looking down at them all.

If G.o.d is watching us, this is how we must look.

As I mulled it over, it certainly felt nice, and I was awfully satisfied with myself.

At least, I wanted to think that I was just another human under heaven’s gaze, even now. As pleasant as it was to look down from here, I didn’t want to make a habit of it.

Settling back from the window, I reached out my hand to close the shutters — and I saw it. On top of the outer walls. A black human shadow.

Well, there wasn’t really anything wrong with that. A sentry? Yeah, that would make sense.

But something wasn’t right. I couldn’t put my finger on it, so I squinted my eyes.

“?”

I couldn’t make it out very well.

It was pretty far away. Just my imagination after all. I put my hand on the window frame, about to close the window again.

Pii —

“…–!?”

At that moment, an shrill noise pierced my ears. It was grating; just listening to it threw me off-balance.