Chapter 31 (1/2)

Holding on to my murky suspicions, I left the guild and set out on the way back along with Aira and Palmira.

When we got outside, the sun had already dipped fairly low to the horizon, dying the sky a vivid crimson.

It looked like I ended up spending more time at the guild than I thought. Leon already knew that we weren’t there, didn’t he?

“We ended up staying out quite late…”

Aira trudged along, also looking uneasy.

Though it was hardly enough, we were able to achieve some results at the guild.

I was able to get the answers to the questions I wanted to ask, more or less. I couldn’t call them satisfying, but it was still worth it to sneak out.

However, to a certain degree, that was an excuse.

To tell you the truth, when I was wrapping things up, same as Aira, I grew nervous about what would happen upon our return.

That is, would Leon be angry?

Still, aside from that particular worry, I harbored some distrust toward Leon.

Because of what Arc had said earlier about the military.

The military.

Of course, they come in all shapes and sizes. Considering the imperial military as a whole, it should be a standing army of close to a million troops.

From that perspective, the force known simply as the ‘Elite Guard’ didn’t make up even one percent of the total. So while I still called it an ‘army’, it was weird to think of it alongside the entire imperial military.

However, I couldn’t imagine them separate ent.i.ties. Why? It was none other than Leon that I told about the Artor Ruins, and that was the exact reason why the military presence there made sense.

That was just my opinion, though. Of course, it was also possible that some other army was there for some other purpose.

But there needed to be an appropriate reason to mobilize the military.

And right now, I couldn’t think of any other reasons. No matter how I looked at it, Leon had to be involved somehow.

“Hahh…”

A sigh escaped my lips.

Could be worse, right?

I mean, even if Leon finds something in Artor, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

It would be strange for me to poke my nose in, asking ‘What were you doing?’

So it was no big deal.

While I mulled things over, the garrison gate came into view.

I suddenly thought, ‘Ah, I ended up coming back here.’

Dusk on my heels, a feeling washed over me that I’d missed dearly, all these years.

I felt much like I did when, as a child, I’d come home after running off to play against my parents’ wishes.

How did it go, back then?

If I remember right, my mother would be waiting in front of the house, and I —

There was someone standing by the door.

No, not someone.

It was far, but I knew that it was Leon. I could see Leopard beside him.

I could hear a sharp intake of breath behind me. Aira, I bet.

I was getting pretty uncomfortable myself, but with an air of resignation, I slowly walked forward.

Leon’s figure grew clearer and clearer. He was watching us, his arms crossed. And he wasn’t smiling.

Is he p.i.s.sed? Yeah, he’s p.i.s.sed alright.

My heartbeat sped up so much I had to wonder, why am I getting this anxious?

Ahh, I don’t want to go. But I kept my thoughts inside, and my feet steadily brought me closer to Leon. It wasn’t like I could escape somewhere else at this point. Say what you like, there was no running for me now. And so I moved my feet forward by force of will.

And, like so, I stood in front of Leon.

He stared at me fixedly, his expression hard. What — should I say here? I abruptly averted my eyes from the awkwardness.

“…Um, Leon, the truth is — ”

Not knowing the right words to say, I began to speak in a subdued murmur — when for a moment my cheek flashed hot, and my vision swung to the side.

A slap sound hit my ears.

“…–?”

Huh?

Unable to process what had happened, I touched my hand to my stinging, burning cheek.

Huh?

Timidly, I slowly turned my eyes to look in front of me.

— That day, when I stood in front of my mother —

Standing there, his expression fury mingled with despair, his raised hand trembling, was Leon.

–

–

“…You — !”

Leon shouted at me as I looked up at him in blank amazement. My body quivered unexpectedly from the shock.

It was my first time seeing Leon with that kind of look on his face. Is he angry? The rational part of me stood by, observing nonchalantly.

When I looked at Leopard standing off to the side, he’d gone stiff with a look of surprise.

Ah, so even Leopard could make such a face. Was it that rare for Leon to be like this…?

“What in the world were you doing!? I should have told you that you weren’t to go into the city, right!? And yet you — !”

For a moment, Leon’s furious tirade faltered.

And my wits came back to me.

What?

What the h.e.l.l?

Why do I have to get chewed out? Why do I have to eat a hit to the face?

My heart filled with a boiling rage.

In front of me, Leon glared at me. He seemed to be searching for his next words.

That state of his strengthened my conviction that he had something to hide.

When that thought came into contact my existing distrust, everything ignited.

“Do you understand!?”

“—-! Shut — the — f.u.c.k — up!”

I yelled over Leon’s voice, my emotions blazing.

I heard a pair of gasps come from behind me, but I ignored them.

“What the h.e.l.l! You — ! Who the h.e.l.l do you think you are! Yeah, I owe you for helping me! But I don’t remember ever making you my G.o.dd.a.m.n mother — ! Don’t barge into my business! I am me!”

I spat out a rapid stream of unimaginable invective.

His face stiffening at my words, Leon stared at me.

“After all, you’re just lying to yourself, seeing me as someone I’m not! I’m no one’s G.o.dd.a.m.n replacement — ! Don’t f.u.c.k with me! I — am me — ! No one else!”

It might have been smoldering inside me all this time.

I am me.

Woman, man, I don’t care.

The [me] here is all that I am. Christopher Carson, not some Christine chick.

Not once have I ever thought of myself as her. And even if it seemed to be true, I wouldn’t give a s.h.i.+t. That’s something I don’t need to think twice about. I don’t know what point there is in getting mad.

But this guy is hiding something. He won’t say it.

It gets me thinking. I have to.

All of those things rattled around inside me, becoming ugly, transforming into rage.

In the end, telling me some things and withholding others, he played me like a pro, trying to mold me into [something] that suited his purposes. No more than that.

He’s making a fool out of me…! He’s f.u.c.king around with me!

“Big Sister!”

“You can’t!”

Suddenly, Aira hugged me from behind.

I felt something gripping my right hand. Palmira?

But my eyes were fixed on Leon’s, refusing to move away.