Vol 1 Chapter 7 (1/2)

Chapter 7: Sweethearts at a Place of Wishes

Ah.

My usual habits kicked in

And I went a little crazy…

Point Allocation (Can’t Be Helped)

Asama was thinking.

…Now, this is supposed to be a date, but what are we supposed to do?

They were at Mt. Takao. It was called a mountain, but it was actually the nature district and sail on the back end of Takao, the third starboard s.h.i.+p. The main selling points were the small mountain in the nature district, the Buddhist temple, and the various training ground viewing points or self-prayer stations.

Takao was known as a power spot, so it was of course the major Buddhist location on the Musas.h.i.+. The mountain monks would also gather there.

According to the Testament descriptions, Mt. Takao was managed by Ookubo Nagayasu, a Matsudaira retainer, and Asama had heard that the candidates to inherit the Ookubo name were training there.

…Isn’t the daughter of the Ookubo family in the first year?

Because Ookubo Nagayasu managed Mt. Takao, rights to the name fell to Musas.h.i.+ rather than to Mikawa which had sent everyone away and given the names of all the major retainers to automatons. Partially because the Tadayo name had already been inherited by someone from Musas.h.i.+, it was expected that someone else from Musas.h.i.+ would inherit Ookubo Nagayasu’s name as well. But…

“Takao can’t develop too much since its manager’s name hasn’t been inherited yet.”

As the daughter of the Asama Shrine, she decided she needed to focus more on the area’s ley line output and tuning management.

Even so, the area was well established.

Children played in the nature district’s park and the mountain monks were training in the artificial waterfall.

“Okay, today’s water has an impurity-exorcising spell, so a Buddha’s gonna appear and beat the c.r.a.p out of all the impure people. I hope you’re ready.”

The water had stopped flowing over the bare-rock cliff and the mountain monks prepared themselves down below in front of a display that said “standby”. All of them held body pillows or p.o.r.n game boxes with waterproof spell charms attached.

“All right! Bring it! I’ll resist this with my waifu!!”

“Yeah! Today we’ll prove that our genre-loving spirit has the justice needed to defeat even a Buddha!”

“That’s right. If we win here, it means this is Buddha-approved!!”

As soon as the cascade of water poured down, they were all swept away. For about a minute, the sounds of sutra strikes came from the Buddha that appeared at the bottom of the water. Finally, the mountain monks floated up, lying face-down in the water.

Once the older monks fished them out with bamboo poles, they all sounded refreshed.

“Ah ha ha! I feel like I was castrated from the bottom of my stomach to my crotch!”

“Okay! Let’s start from the beginning: browsing the divine network and saving any p.o.r.n images we happen to come across!!”

“Yeah! Let’s use our refreshed worldly minds to awaken to a brand new genre!!”

Kimi and Mitotsudaira commented on the mountain monks who walked off with their arms around each other’s shoulders.

“Isn’t that just formatting the memory of their worldly minds?”

“And aren’t they looking at it all wrong if they’re thinking about ‘resisting’ it?”

“I’ve heard that some things just can’t be erased…”

s.h.i.+nto could also purify impurities, but there was nothing they could do about the root problem. And even if they could, it would cause problems as far as ‘having many descendants’ was concerned. Plus, s.h.i.+nto mythology tended to promote s.e.xual things.

…It’s a tricky issue…

Asama took the other two along Mt. Takao. The mast portion was used for temple lodgings, so they did not need to go that far. Some trainee monks who had been lax in their training were being forced to bungee jump off the sail as many times as their age, but Asama could not quite remember if the Testament descriptions mentioned that or not.

“Asama, is that the reverse bungee using the towing belt’s ejection device that I’ve heard so much about lately? It shoots them up pretty high, doesn’t it?”

“I’ll agree that the training grounds here seem to be growing weirder and weirder.”

Some of the monks were jogging with an older monk in the lead.

“Listen! You are all pigs! You are from the Animal Realm! But I will whip you into shape so you can reach enlightenment! We’ll be singing a perverted song as we run to erase your worldly thoughts! …Freeze-dried tofu is good tofu~! It’s good for me~! And good for you~! C’mon!”

The others repeated after him and Asama wondered if she needed to set up any defenses against what they were saying.

But, she thought. Does this work for a date or not?

…Right now, we’re at a Buddhist theme par-…no. Some of the monks over there may be putting on a fire-walking show, but that must be part of their training.

“Tomo, um, is that dancing Mikkyo Mouse over there really a legitimate part of Buddhism?”

“Well, I think he’s part of the Animal Realm, but beyond that I don’t know.”

Kimi on the other hand seemed to be in a good mood as she clung to Asama’s right arm.

Asama wanted ask what she found to be so entertaining, but…

…A good escort doesn’t ask if their partner is enjoying the date.

If they a.s.sumed their partner was enjoying it and were looking for agreement, they were looking down on their partner. If they a.s.sumed their partner was not enjoying it and yet asked, then they were only looking for a convenient answer.

The correct answer was to find things that they a.s.sumed they and their partner would enjoy, guide them there, and naturally enjoy that time together.

If the knowledge Asama had gained from their previous discussion was accurate, then what people enjoyed would never match up if they tried to force it. And even if it did, it would not last long.

Then, thought Asama. I need to figure out what it is we all enjoy.

I need to find it.

“…Oh.”

Asama looked to an offering station to the side and saw a fire altar.

…If we use that to chant a sutra for a Buddhist spell, we can get anti-demon divine protection, can’t we?

She just about asked Kimi and Mito if they wanted to try it out, but then she started wondering if chanting a sutra and getting anti-demon divine protection would be a fun date activity.

“…Nn.”

It would help teach her the differences between s.h.i.+nto and Buddhism and the divine protection would be useful for her work, but…

…Th-that doesn’t have much at all to do with Kimi or Mito.

Oh, no, she thought.

She had been glancing over at the various fire altars and other things for a while now, but she had been looking at them in the context of her work with spells.

To Kimi and Mito, she was being nothing more than a spell-obsessed freak.

“…”

She shuddered at her own actions.

She had no idea if the training grounds or anything else here were “fun”.

She wanted to try out the different facilities, but that was because her work with spells made her curious if and how their divine protection and exorcism systems worked.

…Wow. I really am an obsessed freak.

She had a.s.sumed this date plan had been on her home field, but that was wrong. In a way, it was a complete away game where she could only score own goals.

…Oh, no…

Getting out of here as quickly as possible was the best course of action. When their enjoyment was so out of sync, it was better to leave and go somewhere else than to make a mistake. But…

“Asama.”

Kimi pulled on her right arm.

Shaken by the other girl’s slowed pace, Asama turned to the right. She did not even have time to tilt her head. She decided to ask while hoping Kimi would not ask anything weird about the surrounding facilities.

“Wh-what is it?”

“Silly girl. You walked right past it.”

A small public fire altar was set up on the side of the path.

“Heh heh. How about we all try it out together?”

…Ehhhhh!? But what if my spell-obsessed blood gets all fired up!?

Despite Asama’s worries, Kimi pulled on her arm, but Mitotsudaira pulled in the opposite direction.

“W-wait. I have the Cerberus with me! What if he gets exorcised?”

Asama thought to herself while being pulled on from either direction.

…Oh, am I really popular right now or something?

Mitotsudaira spoke to Kimi while focused on the Cerberus on her head.

“Buddhist divine protections exorcise instead of purify. That means they entirely erase the target instead of just getting rid of the impurity. What if it affects my Cerberus?”

“Um, Mito?”

Asama tried to say something with a serious look on her face, but Kimi nestled up against the girl’s arm and cut her off.

Kimi lowered her eyebrows in a smile while looking back and forth between Mitotsudaira and the Cerberus.

“Heh heh. Then can’t you just put Troiko down and have him wait until we’re done?”

“A-and have him feeling left out!?”

“Oh? Is the Mitotsudaira family unable to discipline its servants?”

“N-now you’ve said it!”

Mitotsudaira placed the Cerberus on the ground.

“I can to discipline him! See!?”

She tried taking a step away, but the Cerberus dashed over to her.

…D-do you have no patience at all!?

She was at a loss for words, but Kimi and Asama spoke up behind her.

“Talk about a lack of discipline…”

“Yes, I expected her to coddle the thing, but I never thought it would be just as clingy…”

“Qu-quiet down, you two!”

Mitotsudaira picked up the Cerberus and placed it back down. She made sure it sat down, rubbed its head, and told it with her eyes to stay put. Then Kimi spoke from behind her.

“Dat’s a good bwoy~ Shtay right dere~ Heh heh heh!”

“I was not saying that!!”

Not in baby talk anyway, she added silently.

The Cerberus still looked like it would get up and dash after her the second she gave it an opening, but she somehow got it to sit down and then she pulled her hips back.

Taking a step back would not work.

If she did that, it would dash after her, so she started by pulling her hips back to place her body backwards. Then, instead of taking a step back with her feet, she pulled the rest of herself back. She guessed the Cerberus would not dash after her like this.

It did not.

Good, good, she thought while holding her palms out to the Cerberus.

He can learn like this, she thought.

“Stay,” she said to help.

It dashed toward her.

…Khhh!!

Honestly, the stupid thing doesn’t know how to do what he’s told, she thought while Kimi and Asama spoke behind her.

“They often say this kind of thing shows how you were raised yourself.”

“Does that mean Mito was undisciplined back with her parents?”

“What are you two whispering about!?”

The Cerberus barked as if in response.

This isn’t good, thought Mitotsudaira while gently lifting the Cerberus up to eye level.

“Um, listen. A servant is supposed to listen to what his master says.”

“Mito! Mito! Pets are also seen as prized possessions, so you could also go that route here!!”

“B-but…” Mitotsudaira looked back toward Asama and Kimi. “I’m from a knight family. Even a pet needs to have a proper master/servant relations.h.i.+p!”

She held her chest out proudly, but Kimi raised a hand.

Mitotsudaira had a bad feeling about this, so she narrowed her eyes as she asked about it.

“What is it?”

“Judge. …If you think pets should have a master/servant relations.h.i.+p, does that mean your master/servant relations.h.i.+p with your king comes from a desire to be his pet?”

At first, she had no idea what Kimi meant.

…Eh?

She read back through it in her heart, grasped the meaning, comprehended it, and imagined it, but Asama reacted first.

“W-wait, Kimi! You mean Mito would have a chain around her neck while she goes on a walk with a nudist, gets all excited as he feeds her, and marks the area when they come to a stop no matter how embarra.s.sing it might be? And then she sleeps in his bed in place of a heater!? What are you thinking!? There’s such a thing as being too cruel even among friends!!”

“You’re the cruel one, Tomo!!”

However, Mitotsudaira did recall seeing her mother and father heading to their bedroom with chains and collars around their necks, so perhaps that was something similar. When she had asked what the chains were for, her mother had said, “Heh heh. That’s too treat a bit of a disease we get. It’s something like rabies, so we start drooling and biting at each other. But it heals up by the next morning, so there’s nothing to worry about.” She was pretty sure she had heard a long, shrill scream from her father after that, so thinking back, her mother might not have been healed after all.

But…

…Being his servant by being his pet!?

She had never thought of that before. Perhaps she could think of that as a new set of values.