Chapter 1 (1/2)

introduction

“Oh! So the wedding’s next week?”

My hairdresser, Hos.h.i.+no-san, whistled as he looked at my long hair.

Although I was shy, since he had been my hairdresser since high school, I was able to relax and enjoy making small talk with him like this.

“That’s right. They’re my cla.s.smates from high school, so they invited me to the ceremony….”

“Wow, and are the bride and groom from the same high school, too? Don’t tell me, they’ve been together since they were students?”

I nodded at him through my reflection in the mirror, and for some reason, I answered proudly,

“They’re childhood friends, too.”

“Seriously? Ah, what it is to be young…. It’s so bittersweet.”

Hos.h.i.+no-san replied good-naturedly while also moving his hands precisely.

Listening to the sound of my hair being chopped off strangely put me at ease.

Maybe that was why I ended up blurting out something unnecessary.

“….Actually, she was my first love.”

Hos.h.i.+no-san stopped working for a moment, and looked at me through the mirror.

“What kind of person was she?”

“Eh….?”

I couldn’t think of the right words when asked on the spot.

Even now, whenever I remember her, I felt something tighten inside my chest, and a bitter feeling would bubble up. But even those feelings were like happiness to me—

“She was like the sun on a hot, summer day.”

When I close my eyes, my memories of high school come back in vivid detail.

The memories of those bright, bittersweet days where I’d always given it my all.

Chapter 1

The last summer of high school went by a lot faster than usual.

Even though she was still in that summer vacation mode, the season steadily s.h.i.+fted to fall, leaving Miou behind.

Miou sat at the very top of the steps, and idly watched the setting sun.

’….It’s been a while since we last went home together like this.’

Today, there were two sets of shadows that stretched out at their feet.

It was such a simple thing, but she could feel the corners of her mouth twitching upwards.

Slipping a sideways glance at him, she saw that Haruki was watching the sunset just like her.

It had gotten chilly lately, but Haruki’s neck looked cool today, as well. Since he was always moving around in some way, maybe the sweater he wore underneath his blazer was enough to keep warm.

A close childhood friend. A cla.s.smate who she just happened to get along with, so she walked home with him.

If someone were to ask about her relations.h.i.+p with Haruki, that was probably how she would describe it.

But there was something that she kept a secret from everyone around her.

Haruki was in the Film Club, and Miou was part of the Art Club, but the two of them were working together on a movie, separate from their respective club activities.

Haruki was writing the script, and Miou was in charge of the key visuals. There was already significant progress on it.

However, due to their time being taken up by club activities and studying, in the end, even with it being the fall of their third year now, the movie was still unfinished.

’….Would it be wrong for me to say that I’ll finish it up?’

Miou had held back from saying so, knowing that Haruki must be busy, but maybe she should have said it, after all.

Just like that, there were a many times that Miou would refrain from saying something.

Even now as they were sitting right next to each other, their conversation had come to a standstill.

’Uu, I have to talk about something….’

She thought out of nervousness, but her mind was completely blank.

Unable to take the silence, but unable to find a topic, Miou kept on adjusting her scarf over and over.

’Ah, it’s getting so warm. But at least like this, Haruki won’t be able to see how red my face is….’

Miou thought, before holding back a bitter smile.

Being nervous when she was next to Haruki was supposed to be a thing of the past. When they’d first met, she would blush as soon as he spoke to her. However, lately, they’d become close enough friends that could casually joke around.

’But now I’ve gone back to how I used to be….’

The last time that they’d gone home together was before summer vacation had started.

Back then, they’d still been able to talk like normal, and there wasn’t anything awkward between them.

But things had changed after what had happened during the meeting with the Film Club.

’….Even though it’s already been two months since then….’

Why was it that the English vocab word she had worked so hard to remember slipped away so easily, but the more she wanted to forget something, the deeper it would be engraved in her memory?

She could remember that day so vividly it hurt.

“Oh…? I never thought I’d meet someone that thinks the same way as me.”

“So the idea just comes to you? Looks like we’re more alike than I thought, huh?”

Just like that, Haruki spoke cheerfully with Akari, Miou’s close friend.

The conversation between two geniuses was something Miou had trouble understanding, and it was like she was hearing their voices from a distance away.

Incidentally, Haruki had only sharp words in regards to Miou’s drawings.

“Don’t the expressions seem kind of stiff?”

“The technique is good and all, but…. they feel more like references.”

Miou knew very well that were was no hidden meaning behind Haruki’s words.

There was no malice, or critical intent. He was just saying his thoughts aloud as is.

That was why the difference in his att.i.tude towards Akari and her hurt so much.

The pain stabbed into her like a thorns, which soon sprouted ivy that gradually entwined itself around her chest. And then, before she realized, Miou was so paralyzed she could no longer move.

It was hard to be together with Haruki.

She wound up comparing herself to Akari, and it made her feel sad.

She hated herself for feeling this way, and decided to put distance between Haruki and herself.

”I’ll be going home with Nacchan and Akari-chan until I finish my piece for the art contest. Haruki-kun, good luck on your movie, too.”

The day after the meeting, she had sent Haruki that text, and he had replied with a plain, “Okay. Good luck.”

He didn’t ask for a reason, or even ask how long it would take.

’How can I be feeling lonely when I’m the one who suggested this….? I’m really so selfish….’

However, today, it had been Haruki who had asked to walk home together.

He didn’t ask her anything, and simply walked beside her.

If Miou was fine with it too, they should be able to walk home together again tomorrow.

And just like that, her relations.h.i.+p with Haruki could go back to how it was before summer vacation started.

’But, is this really okay….?’

Her chest that had been stabbed by thorns pulsed with pain.

The more she thought about it, the further away the answer felt.

’I….’

What did she want Haruki and her to be?

’I….’

She couldn’t confess like Natsuki, or share the same views as him like Akari.

The only thing she could do was maintain her position as his friend.

For starters, she needed to do something about this silence.

Miou bravely opened her mouth, knowing that it was her turn to come up with a topic this time.

“H-Haruki-kun, do you have a crush on anyone?”

Even Miou was surprised at the words that had come out of her mouth.

And Haruki, the one who the question was directed at, had widened his eyes.

“Ah, no, I mean, um….”

Miou frantically waved both hands in front of her face and desperately searched for the words.

’W-what should I say? It’d be weird if I said “Just kidding”….’

As she panicked, Haruki’s calm voice reached her ears.

“I do.”

For a moment, Miou wasn’t sure if she’d heard right.

When the answer came, she was so surprised that she stared intently at Haruki.

But Haruki had turned his face away, making it hard for her to see his expression.

“I do have a crush.”

Haruki said again, as if to make sure he was heard.

Miou felt as if a heavy weight had pressed down on her heart, and her vision turned white.

“Ah…. I see,”

Still trying to get her breathing in order, she muttered this half-unconsciously.

Her voice was faint, scarcely above a whisper, but it seemed like Haruki had heard her clearly enough. Still avoiding eye contact, he responded with a question.

“What about you?”

Should she just answer honestly?

Was what she thought, but her body was already way ahead of her.

Her lips quivered, vision blurred, and she slumped weakly.

Looking down, she saw Haruki’s left hand resting on the stair step.

And next to it was her right hand.

It was just within reach if she stretched her hand. All she had to do was move, and she could easily touch him.

But in reality, she couldn’t even lift a single finger.

Miou shook her head, as if to physically shake off the emotions welling up inside of her.

And with that momentum, she forced her voice up from her aching lungs.

“I do.”

There. She’d said it.

Just like how you can’t turn back time, she couldn’t take back what she’d just said.

Miou clenched her fists, and without waiting for Haruki’s reaction, she stood up.

Although she heard him take a breath beside her, she bit down on her bottom lip, fighting back the urge to turn around.

Picking up her bag that she’d left lying on the ground, Miou descended the stairs one step at a time.

When she got to the fourth step, she finally looked up at Haruki’s face.

“Oh, I just remembered I had something to do, so I’ll be going home now.”

“….Okay, see you later, then.”

Miou gave a small nod, and then hurried down the remaining steps as if to run away.

The blurry sunset she saw was so beautiful it made her want to cry.

❀　❁　❀　❁　❀

“It’s! So! Hot! I can’t believe it’s this hot when it’s still only July….”

“Haha. It looks like ice cream will taste especially good again this year.”

“That’s true! How about we stop by the gelato store in front of the station on the way home, then?”