Part 29 (1/2)

But the Hinsdale water barrel, that has just been completed and now is in operation, is no mere castoff sauerkraut hogshead. It cost $30,000, and it gives forth rainwater at a rate of a million gallons a day. And the dingiest brunette will soon blossom out in the full glory of the spun-gold blonde. The chemist person who installed the $30,000 rain barrel says so, and he claims to know.

It was cited to the women of Hinsdale that the women of the British Isles are fair, very fair, indeed. What makes them so fair? The fog. And what is fog? It is rainwater in the vapor.

Hence rainwater will make women fair. Let us, therefore, have rainwater.

The water in Hinsdale heretofore has been hard. It crinkled the hair and put the complexion on the b.u.m. It cost more money for cosmetics to set these complexions right than a couple of $30,000 rain barrels. But now the seediest lady in the land has only to make a pilgrimage to Hinsdale and return ready to make faces at the inventor of peroxide.

3. Last week Tuesday night the henhouse of Mr. Rosenblot, on the Standard farm, was broken open and 14 hens taken. Also at the same time five bags of grain and two bags of cattle salt were stolen. Thursday night his chicken coops were visited and about 40 little chicks taken. Mr. Rosenblot expects his wife and her mother from Russia next week.

4. The feature of the evening was the dance. Miss Semple's grace and ease in executing the many intricate steps of the Argentine tango, hesitation waltz, and other modern dances elicited great applause from the onlookers. Miss Sheppard of the District Nurses' a.s.sociation gave a lecture on first aid to the injured.

5. ”Lemme see something nifty in s.h.i.+rts--something with a cla.s.sy green stripe,” said Dan McKee of Soho Street, as he cruised into the men's furnis.h.i.+ng store of Emil de Santis, in Webster Avenue.

The lone clerk evidently did not notice all the specifications of McKee's order, and listlessly drew out at random the first box of s.h.i.+rts his hand touched. Picking the top s.h.i.+rt out, he laid it before McKee.

”There's something nice,” he began.

”Oh, is it?” yelled McKee.

”McKee,” said Magistrate Sweeney at the hearing, ”what on earth made you try to wreck that store?”

”I asked for a green striped s.h.i.+rt, judge.”

”Well?”

”And that fellow handed me a bright orange one.”

”I see,” said Sweeney. ”But I'll have to make it thirty days.”

_E._ The following stories, along with other faults, are lacking in tone. Correct them in any way necessary. (Paragraphs =136-137=.)

1. The wedding bells peeled joyfully at the home of Mr. H. R.

Drake last Tuesday, when their highly accomplished and beautiful daughter, Melva, became the blus.h.i.+ng bride of that sterling young farmer, Henry Eastman. The bride's brother, Charlie, played Mendelssohn's wedding march on his cornet, and considering the fact he has only had it about 9 months it sounded good. Rev. Osgood, who has been working through harvest and picking up a little on the side, performed the nuptials. The bride's costume was a sort of light gauzy affair and white slippers and stockings to match. Of course she wore heavier clothes when they went on their wedding trip. Quite a merry crowd a.s.sembled to see them off, and as they didn't have any rice some of them got to throwing roasting ears. Henry was struck under the eye by a large ear and blacked it pretty bad.

They drove right to Larned and stayed all night at the hotel, and then took their wedding trip to Kinsley and Dodge City. They have rented the old home place and will be at home next Tuesday.

Melva expects to take charge of Cooper & Jones' cook shack the rest of the season.

2. The old must die, the young sometimes do. When a young child, sweet and gentle in temperament, lovable and full of promise, is cut down in the very hey time of youth, it is unutterably sad.

There is said to be a time for all things and this would seem to be a time for mourning.

Sunday morning at 4:30 o'clock the Death Angel summoned John O.

Beck, Jr., and bade him leave his playthings and many friends and come away. It must have been with a sigh of relief that his spirit took flight from the frail body which had been tortured for twenty-two long days with the torture of spinal meningitis.

John O. Beck, Jr., youngest son of Mr. and Mrs. John O. Beck, was born on the twenty-fifth day of July, 1903, in Boswell. He was the youngest of four children--William, Leona, and La Baron survive him. His was a most beautiful nature, he loved company, and the childish circles in which he moved were always brighter and happier for his presence. As a member of the Christian Sunday School he was always in his place. The little boy will be missed, not only in the home, but among his playmates and also amongst the older people of the city.

The funeral will be held to-morrow afternoon at 3 o'clock from the family home. Dr. Frank Talmage, pastor of the Christian Church, will officiate. Interment will be made in South Park.

3. After the ceremony the guests repaired to the dining-room, where a wedding dinner was served, replete with the most luscious viands conceivable by the human imagination. The turkey, which had been roasted under the personal supervision of the bride, possessed delectability of flavor impossible of description. It was the unanimous verdict of the numerous a.s.semblage of appreciative guests that never before in the annals of human history had a turkey more delicious, more savory, more ambrosial, been the object of human consumption.

Both the business office and the editorial rooms of the _Standard_ were largely and brilliantly represented, and the collation was interspersed with highly intelligent affabilities.

Constant streams of sparkling repartee rippled across the table, jocund anecdotes and refined civilities of every variety abounded, the festivities in every way being characterized by vivacity, suavity, chivalry, and irreproachable respectability.