Part 5 (2/2)

Jill was never adopted, but she was able to overcome some of the natural setbacks. She was elected president of her senior cla.s.s and became homecoming queen. She was voted most popular and most beautiful. She won all of the awards, but inside it was always just a performance to her. She never let anybody see the real her. Her whole life was performing, trying to earn the favor of somebody else.

Finally, she met a man I'll call Ray. He was raised in a Christian home and he had quite a bit going for him. He loved her and they got married. When they got married, she couldn't cook, so she stayed up long hours studying, learning to cook, and trying to come up with meals. Although her cooking was still terrible, Ray would eat the meals and not say a thing about them.

Jill was always performing. She never let her husband see her in curlers or without make-up. She would get up early to make certain she was picture perfect before anyone saw her. She was trying to perform and keep this image of perfection going.

Finally, after a few months of marriage, Jill and Ray got into an argument. They got to talking about it and Jill started crying. She said later that when she cried, she just looked terrible. Her nose got red, her eyes were red, her mascara was running, and she ruined her artificial appearance. She believed she finally ruined her performance.

Right in the middle of the fight she began to say to Ray, ”All right, leave me. I know you're going to divorce me. Just leave me and see if I care.”

Ray looked at her and said, ”Divorce you? Just because we disagree on something? Jill, I love you. It doesn't matter whether we agree on everything or not, I'm not going to divorce you.”

The things he said totally broke her down. She couldn't believe somebody loved her even when her performance was not perfect. Despite her insecurity, her husband loved her unconditionally and let her know she didn't have to perform to earn his love. If she was at her very worst, he still loved her exactly the same.

Ray's love - which was the unconditional love of Jesus working in his heart - changed Jill's life. Today she is one of the most secure people I know because she doesn't have to perform anymore and she is secure in the love of G.o.d that she saw through her husband. It took a long period of time, but she's got one of the most powerful testimonies I've ever heard.

When Jill was telling her story, I identified with her. I wasn't really performing for other people, but I was performing for G.o.d. As I grew up, I performed spiritually all of my young life. I tried to do the very best I could - never saying a cuss word, never taking a drink of liquor, and never smoking a cigarette. I was as good as I could possibly be, and yet I probably felt more condemned and more unloved by G.o.d than the majority who were out in the world living in sin, drinking, partying, kicking up their heels, and doing everything else.

I have shared how I used to wake up in a cold sweat, having had a dream that I smoked a cigarette and was burning in h.e.l.l for it. I also would go into a restaurant and see all these dirty words scribbled on the bathroom walls, and just because I saw those words, I would go out of there feeling totally guilty, condemned, and defiled. It took me days and weeks sometimes to get over the exposure to that kind of stuff. People who weren't brought up in a strict religious environment, under condemnation, have trouble relating to that.

How Much Sin Is Too Much? Much Sin Is Too Much?

Sin is deadly even if you just rationalize it by saying, ”Well, everybody lives this way.” You may not feel as guilty as I did, but sin is still going to destroy you and send you to h.e.l.l unless you give your whole life to Jesus and have an intimate relations.h.i.+p with G.o.d.

Even though I seemed to be living a holy life by most people's standard, I was under such guilt and condemnation, I had no freedom to love G.o.d or enter into an intimate relations.h.i.+p with Him. I was at arm's length from Him, and He seemed very impersonal to me. I knew Jesus was my Savior and I knew I was born again, but I didn't have an intimate relations.h.i.+p with the Father. I couldn't as long as I was under that much guilt and condemnation. It was impossible.

I find this is where most Christians are today, and the reason for it is because of the Old Testament concept of G.o.d. People haven't renewed their minds, and they think G.o.d is out to get them. They believe the first time they sin G.o.d is not going to bless them or have anything to do with them.

If you are born again and Spirit-filled, you probably don't believe He's going to send you to h.e.l.l, but you probably believe He won't give you what you ask for. You probably feel He's going to let you ”stew in your juices,” because you feel you deserve it. Most of us believe we're going to get what we deserve from G.o.d - except for h.e.l.l. But that's not the nature of G.o.d.

When people are ignorant of this fact, they're continually trying to perform and make enough effort to say, ”G.o.d, look what I've done. Isn't it enough?” It will never be enough. You will never do enough. If you could do enough to earn the blessings of G.o.d, Jesus would not have needed to come and die for you!

Now that does not mean you should live in sin and say, ”Praise G.o.d, I just get my blessings through what Jesus has done. I think I'll just go live in sin since it doesn't matter.” No! A lack of holiness will affect your relations.h.i.+p with the devil! Satan will dominate you if you live an unholy life, and that will ultimately affect your ability to fellows.h.i.+p with G.o.d.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.John 10:10 Don't give the devil place in your life. If you're living in sin, you're defiling your conscience and hardening your heart towards G.o.d. But G.o.d's love is still consistent towards you regardless of what you've done. Now that concept will cause a lot of people to say, ”I just can't believe that, brother. I can't believe G.o.d loves a person with sin in his life.”

Well, let me ask you this. What is sin? Sin is not only the things that you've done that are wrong, but James 4:17 says, Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. If you use the same definition of sin that the Bible gives, then every last one of us are short of practicing the revelation G.o.d has given us. There's not a person who has prayed without ceasing, who has sought first the kingdom of G.o.d at all times, who has separated himself to serve G.o.d only in every moment, and who has loved other people as themselves. If you use the same definition of sin that the Bible gives, then every last one of us are short of practicing the revelation G.o.d has given us. There's not a person who has prayed without ceasing, who has sought first the kingdom of G.o.d at all times, who has separated himself to serve G.o.d only in every moment, and who has loved other people as themselves.

There's not a person who is walking perfectly in every area of their life. If you aren't walking perfectly, then you're living in sin! And if that's so, and if G.o.d can't fellows.h.i.+p with anyone who has sin in his life, then G.o.d doesn't have anybody to fellows.h.i.+p with! If G.o.d can't use anyone who is a dirty vessel, then G.o.d doesn't have anyone to use.

In my spirit I'm totally clean, but in my flesh, I'm still making mistakes. I am not perfect and neither are you. Some people say, ”I just don't believe G.o.d could love you with sin in your life.” Those people have started categorizing sin! They are really saying, ”Now these sins are bad enough to get you in wrong standing with G.o.d. But these other sins are kind of on the borderline. And then some of these are little white sins that all of us do, but you can get by with those.”

That's not G.o.d's system at all! James 2:10 says, For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty guilty of all. of all. Folks, that's what the Bible says. That's the way G.o.d sees it! Folks, that's what the Bible says. That's the way G.o.d sees it!

I have never said a cuss word in all my life, but I'm guilty of blasphemy because G.o.d's Law is a perfect standard. The Law is like a big plate gla.s.s window running across the entire front of the auditorium. I could shoot a bb through it, push a piano through it, or drive a truck through it. The size of the object doesn't matter. If you break the window, it's broken! And to replace it, you've got to replace the whole thing.

G.o.d's standard is perfection. You either have to be perfect or else you need a Savior Who was perfect for you. So even though I have broken the Law of G.o.d in what may be a small way compared to some other people, I have totally broken the Law of G.o.d. G.o.d's Law is perfection.

There are hundreds of different commandments, but you have to keep them all to be perfect. If you have made any mistake at all, you're in trouble with G.o.d unless you have the Savior. And if you have the Savior, then you're going to get in through His mercy and through what Jesus did for you - not through what you did.

If that's so, then why should people even try to live a holy life? Because Satan will take advantage if you open the door to him even a crack. All Satan needs is 1 percent to get a toehold in your life, and that toehold can cut off your intimacy with G.o.d. When you sin and give place to the devil, that's exactly what happens - you give G.o.d's place in your life to the devil. So as soon as you realize it, just repent, restore your intimacy with G.o.d, and boot the devil out!

Submit yourselves therefore to G.o.d. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.Draw nigh to G.o.d, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.James 4:7,8 This is the new wine: submitting yourself to G.o.d, drawing near to Him, and then in His strength and the confidence of His unconditional love, then in His strength and the confidence of His unconditional love, your hands are cleansed and your heart is purified of sin. your hands are cleansed and your heart is purified of sin.

Did you notice James referred to believers as sinners? Many of us will admit to being double-minded from time to time, but don't you dare call us a sinner! And what is G.o.d's answer in His Word? Submit to Him. Draw near to Him. And then then you can be cleansed and purified - and get rid of the devil. you can be cleansed and purified - and get rid of the devil.

The Old Testament Law was to give you such a strict standard, that it finally dawned on your lightning-fast mind that you just couldn't do it - so you needed a Savior. This is true before you get saved and after you get saved. Jesus saved you from eternal death and h.e.l.l the day you were born again, but He saves you from sin, sickness, poverty, and all attacks of Satan every day of your life on earth.

Religion says, ”If you'll do these things and keep the Law, then G.o.d will bless you.” Religion wants you to quit trusting in G.o.d and look to yourself. Quit trusting in your own effort and performing to earn the blessings of G.o.d! Begin depending on and resting in what Jesus has done instead of what you've done.

When you do this, you are putting the new wine in a new new wineskin! wineskin!

Chapter 9

The Power Power and and Joy Joy in in G.o.d-Consciousness G.o.d-Consciousness In the Old Testament, we saw the wrath and judgment of G.o.d on people because of their disobedience. He was trying to show them that unless they were perfect they didn't deserve things from Him.

Of course, n.o.body could be perfect under the old covenant, because they did not have a transformation of their heart. So that is why G.o.d had them offer animal sacrifices and give material offerings. But the book of Hebrews outlines very clearly that we have a sacrifice that ended all sacrifices. Jesus made one sacrifice for sins for all time. He has cleansed us so that we no longer need to have any more consciousness of sin.

The Old Testament Law gave us knowledge of sin, which caused mankind's biggest problem after the Fall: self-centeredness. self-centeredness. People who are consumed with keeping the Law are obsessed with their sin, which means they are always focusing on themselves. Believers like that are always self-conscious. They are conscious of whether they have sinned or not sinned. They are very sensitive to how guilty they are and how far short they've fallen. People who are consumed with keeping the Law are obsessed with their sin, which means they are always focusing on themselves. Believers like that are always self-conscious. They are conscious of whether they have sinned or not sinned. They are very sensitive to how guilty they are and how far short they've fallen.

Self-centeredness will devastate a believer in their relations.h.i.+p with G.o.d.

I believe what hinders most of us from being the witness for Jesus we should be is that we are so conscious of how far away we are from perfection, we feel guilty trying to talk about the Lord with other people. We're self-conscious, constantly drinking, ”What are these people going to think of me?”

The way to get bold is to get so G.o.d-conscious that you forget about yourself. You can lose self-consciousness in G.o.d. You can get to where you don't care about yourself and what other people think. You can be totally G.o.d-centered.

How to Be Self-Centered to Be Self-Centered .

The easiest way to become self-centered is just by saying, ”All right, I'm going to forget myself.” The moment you start focusing on yourself and start saying, ”Self, get out of my way!” you've put your attention back on yourself!

In my religious background, I was taught to ”die to myself.” There's a truth in the Bible about dying to yourself, but my idea of how to do it will probably sound stupid. I was seeking G.o.d with all I had, and I heard a man say that to die to himself, he envisioned himself in an electric chair where they executed criminals.

Every morning I would get up, sit down, and imagine I was strapping myself in that electric chair. As I strapped myself in, I would name each one of my sorry characteristics until I had listed every rotten thing about me. I kept this up until I saw just how terrible I was. By doing that, I thought I was turning on the electricity and crucifying self. I was trying to die to self by recognizing how sorry ”self was.

But it didn't work. I finally realized that, by trying to die to self that way, I actually spent more time thinking about myself and focusing my attention on my sin than I ever did before. I was more self-centered than ever!

I was so religious, people were patting me on the back and saying how humble I was because I was so beat down. Most people believe that pride is thinking, ”I'm better than anybody else.

n.o.body's as good as I am.” That is one form of pride, but saying, ”Oh, I'm the sorriest thing that ever walked on the face of the earth!” is a higher form of pride.

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