Part 151 (1/2)

In and out of therapy, contemplating suicide, wis.h.i.+ng I could find the

courage to end it. There was something about him, Emma, something

special, something almost magical. Sometimes I couldn't believe he'd

come from me. And when he was gone, like that, so quickly, so cruelly,

so needlessly, it was as if someone had taken out my heart. There was

nothing I could do. I had lost my child. And then, in my grief, I

turned away from my other child. And I lost her.”

”I loved him, too. So much.”

”I know.” She smiled, gently. ”Oh, I know.”

”And you. I've missed you.”

”I never thought I would see you again. Or that you'd be able to

forgive me.”

It amazed her. Forgiveness? For years Emma had thought she was the one

who would never be forgiven. Now, with a few words, the rawness she had

carried with her all day eased, and she was able to smile.

”When I was little, I used to think you were the most beautiful woman in

the world.” Emma leaned forward, rested her cheek against Bev's. ”I

still do. Would you mind if I called you Mum again?”

Emma felt the shaky sigh as Bev gripped her tightly. ”Wait here a

minute. I have something for you.”

Alone, Emma groped in her bag for a tissue. Resting against the

cus.h.i.+ons, she dried her eyes. He. Henther had always been, and would

always be, Bev. Perhaps at last this was one quest she could put behind

her.

”I've saved him for you,” Bev said as she came back into the room. ”Or

maybe I saved him for myself He helped me through some very lonely