Part 112 (2/2)

and disillusioned. ”Should I tell you the nuns are right, and it's a

sin? They probably are. But this is real life, Emma, and people sin in

real life. Brian was lonely.”

”Then it's all right to have s.e.x with a stranger if you're lonely.”

”This is why G.o.d saw to it that I wouldn't be a father,” Johnno

murmured. He tried again, the best way he knew. With the truth. ”s.e.x

is easy, and it's empty, no matter how exciting it is at the moment.

Making love with someone is a whole different experience. You'll find

that out for yourself. When feelings are involved, I guess you could

practically say it's holy.”

”I don't understand. I don't think I want to. He went out, found that

woman and paid for her. He had cocaine. I saw it. I know Stevie . .

. but I never believed Dad. I never believed it.”

”There are all kifids of loneliness, Emma.”

”Do you do it, too?” She set her jaw.

”I have.” He hated admitting a weakness to'her. Strange, but until that

moment when he had to confess his own flaws, he hadn't realized how much

he loved her. ”I probably haven't missed much. The sixties, Emma. You

had to be there.” He laughed a little, and drew her down beside him. ”I

stopped because I didn't like it. I didn't like giving up my control

for a quick buzz. That doesn't make me a hero. It's easier for me. I

don't have the pressure Brian does. He takes everything to heart, I

take everything as it comes. The group's what's important to me, you

see. With Bri, it's the world. It always has been.”

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