Part 66 (1/2)

hilltop nearby she saw a man. He stood, overlooking the small grave and

the grief, silently taking pictures.

HE WOULD NEVER be the same, Brian thought as he drank steadily, a bottle

of Irish whiskey on the table near his elbow. Nothing would ever be the

same. The drink didn't ease the pain as he had hoped it would. It only

made it sink its roots deeper.

He couldn't even comfort Bev. G.o.d knew he'd tried. He'd wanted to.

He'd wanted to comfort her, to be comforted by her. But she was buried

so deep inside the pale, silent woman who had stood beside

him as their child had been put in the ground that he couldn't reach

her.

He needed her, dammit. He needed someone to tell him there were reasons

for what had happened, that there was hope, even now, in these the

darkest days of his life. That was why he'd brought Darren here, to

Ireland, why he'd insisted on the ma.s.s and the prayers and the ceremony.

You were never more Catholic than you were at times of death, Brian

thought. But even the familiar words, and scents, even the hope the

priest had handed out as righteously as communion wafers hadn't eased

the pain.

He would never see Darren again, never hold him, never watch him grow.

All that talk about everlasting life meant nothing when he couldn't take

his boy up in his arms.

He wanted to be angry, but he was far too tired for that, or any kind of

pa.s.sion. So if there was no comfort, he thought as he poured another

gla.s.s, he would learn to live with the griel

The kitchen smelled of spice cakes and good roasted meat. The scents