Part 50 (1/2)

the tense muscles. ”Just a change.”

”If we're not moving forward, we're moving back, don't you see?”

But he knew she couldn't, and tried to put his feelings into more

understandable words. ”Maybe it's Pete pressuring us to tour again, or

talking Stevie into sitting in with other groups in studio sessions, and

doing that movie score. All I know is, it's not just the four of us

getting together and playing from the heart anymore. It's image and

b.l.o.o.d.y marketing, it's brokers and tax shelters.”

Emma rolled over, murmuring.

”And I guess it's worrying about Emma going to school, and Darren going

off one day. What's it going to be like for them? Will people

start picking at them, wanting pieces of them because of what I am? I

don't want them to have the filthy childhood I did, but am I doing any

better by them, making them a part of something that's gotten bigger

than all of us? And hungrier.”

”You think too much.” She turned to take his face in her hands. ”That's

what I love most about you. The children are fine. You've only got to

look at them to see. Maybe their childhood isn't normal, but they're

happy. We're going to keep them happy, and safe. Whatever you are,

whoever you are, you're their Dad. We'll work out the rest.”

”I love you, Bev. I must be deft, worrying about all this. We've got

everything.” He brought her closer, to rest his head on her hair. He

wished he could understand why everything had turned out to be too much.

BRim's DISCONTENTMENT VANISHED after a couple of joints. The house was

full of people Brian felt understood him, what he wanted to do, where he

wanted to go. The music was loud, the drugs were plentiful and varied.