Part 16 (2/2)
”Apparently,” I said and we broke into a fit of laughter.
”My G.o.d. Now what? Are you going to get a blue tint for your hair?”
”You know, I've got a body part you can kiss, too!”
So the next evening, before I met up with John, we were all gathered in Aunt Daisy and Ella's kitchen, sitting around the table eating, what else, but a freshly baked pecan pie, still warm from the oven. We were all going to be diabetic soon but nonetheless, I had called ahead to Ella and begged her to make one and told her there was wonderful news, news truly worth celebrating.
”It'll be on the table by six o'clock,” she said. ”Don't y'all want to have dinner?”
”Well, I'm seeing John and . . .”
”Shoot. I ain't getting in between you and that man. Not me!”
”There's nothing to get in between,” I said hoping that my words were a lie.
Anyway, I was all dressed (not to kill but hopefully to seriously maim) and ready to go out with John so I just drove over and met them at Aunt Daisy and Ella's beforehand. I don't have to tell you that I did not put on lipstick or cologne. I didn't want to hear about it and Lord knows, in my family someone always has something to say.
”It's true!” Russ said. ”We're having a baby, Aunt Daisy. Isn't it great?”
”Mother McCree! I never thought I'd live to see the day when you were old enough to get married, much less have a child!” She sighed heavily and then, the sentimental nature of the moment getting the better of her, she smiled wistfully. ”G.o.d, oh how I wish my sister was still alive for this. I miss her something awful right now. I really do.”
”I miss her too, Aunt Daisy,” I said, smiling. ”But you did the heavy lifting with Patti and me so you deserve the spoils. Anyway, you have to believe she's up there somewhere watching over us all the time, don't you?”
”Humph,” she said with a grunt.
So much for Aunt Daisy's spiritual side.
”She's watching alright,” Ella said. ”You have to believe that or else what are you going to do?”
”Oh, I prefer to howl at the full moon,” Aunt Daisy said, straight-faced. Then she cut her eye at me and said, ”So, somebody's gonna be a grandmother!”
I laughed and looked at Alice. ”And somebody else is gonna be a mother!”
”I sure am,” she said. ”This pie is so awesome. Do you think I could have another little piece?”
”You sure can, honey,” Aunt Daisy said. ”You can have the whole thing!”
”Just a forkful,” she said.
Ella got up, took Alice's plate, and cut her another big slice. As she handed Alice the pie, she leaned in and said, ”You carrying a girl chile. Uh-huh, got you a girl!”
”Oh, come on,” Alice said. ”You couldn't know that.”
”Aw, come on, Aunt Ella,” Russ said. ”I'm hoping for a b-ball buddy!”
”Ain't no reason why that chile can't play ball, but she's a girl all the same.”
”How do you know, Ella?” I said.
” 'Cause she's cravin' shugah! Boys want pickles. Girls like sweets. Mark my word! Y'all all see what come September!”
”No point in debating with Ella on that,” Aunt Daisy said. ”She calls 'em all the time and guess what? It's the only thing we never argue about.”
” 'Cause I'm right all the time and you know it,” Ella said.
”Did you hear me disagree with you? You going deaf now, too?”
We all laughed and I stood up to leave, taking my plate to the sink to rinse.
”Where you headed, Mom?”
”Humph,” said Aunt Daisy, with her eyes widened to capacity and rolling around for emphasis. She certainly was opinionated tonight.
”I'm having dinner with John Risley.”
”Oh,” Russ said. ”Well, that's great. Have fun!”
”Thanks. Listen, if your sister calls, you might want to keep that detail to yourself.”
”Oh, heeeere we go again,” Alice said, and put her fork down.
”What does that mean, Alice?” I said.
Now, wouldn't you think that a twenty-eight-year-old young woman would have more manners than to voice an opinion about her mother-in-law's social life in front of everyone? Pregnant or not, shouldn't there be some kind of a filter between her hormonal brain and her flapping jaw? Apparently not.
”I'm just saying that to ask Russ to lie for you? It's not a good thing. That's all.”
Would it be so terrible if I put just one strip of duct tape over her mouth?
”You're just saying? Well, that's nice. Listen, Alice, I'm not asking Russ to lie for me or anyone else. I just don't think it's necessary to go advertising every piece of information you have. Sara is very sensitive and I don't want her upset.”
”Don't worry, Mom. I won't tell Sara.”
”What if she asks?” Alice said.
”Then you just say you don't know.”
”That would be a lie,” Alice said, finis.h.i.+ng off that unnecessary but irresistible second piece of pie.
”No, sweetie, that would be discretion. Big difference. Now, if any of you ever see me having dinner with a known criminal then please, be my guest and alert the authorities. Anyway, he's a friend and that's all. It's nice for me to have a friend, don't you think?”
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