Part 4 (2/2)
”Oh, man!” Sara said, looking out the window. ”I am so screwed.”
”Maybe not,” I said. ”You're probably flying a big plane that goes on to Tokyo or somewhere. They usually take off no matter what the weather is.”
”Maybe we can get a flight on a bigger jet to Atlanta or Charlotte and then drive back to Charleston,” Russ said to Alice.
”I'm on hold,” Alice said.
There wasn't a lot of snow on the ground then, maybe an inch or so, and over the next hour of fierce packing and frantic checking with the pathological liars who worked for the airlines, who finally picked up and said everything was on time and running even slightly ahead of schedule, it was decided that Mark would drive them all to the airport in Newark before the tri-state area turned completely white. If they had a problem they would call us and we would rescue them. And if a rescue was necessary, we would all reconvene at Patti and Mark's so at least we could have a meal at a table and follow the news about the weather on a blooming television.
”I wish I didn't have to leave you now, Mom,” Sara said. ”It's too soon!”
”Darling, there isn't much you can do anyway. And we can talk on the phone all you want with my unlimited weekend minutes!”
”I'm glad you still have a sense of humor. I'm just thinking maybe I can get a job as a bartender. They're supposed to make bank.”
”Give it a try,” I said. We had talked, Sara and I. She knew the Gravy Train had not just pulled into the station, but it had jumped the tracks and rolled down the cliff, never to return. ”Our new reality sucks.”
”Yeah, it does but I just feel bad about leaving you now. I mean, there are probably other shoes to fall, you know?”
”Drop. Shoes to drop.” My lovely daughter was known for mixing metaphors. ”You don't worry about me, sweetheart. As things unfold, I'll keep you posted.”
”Promise?”
”Cross my heart,” I said and made an X with my finger over the spot where my terrified and very insecure heart was lodged. I loved my children so very much and it was so hard to send them back to their lives. A part of me felt like if I could just hang on to them that things might go back to normal. The rest of me knew better. Our family was irrevocably changed now and it was hard to see a future that was anything but unnerving. At least for me.
We hugged each other with all our might and I kissed their cheeks before they went out the kitchen door with Mark.
”If you want to talk about anything, anything at all, just call me, okay?” Alice said.
I saw Patti raise an eyebrow in my direction and I just smiled. I knew the child meant well but it would be a subzero day in the deepest valley of Hades before I'd reveal any fears or doubts I had to her. Too inappropriate.
”I'll call you when we land,” Russ said, knowing I prayed like a cloistered nun on Good Friday while my children were in the air.
”That would be great, hon,” I said.
”Me too,” Sara said.
”Good,” I said. ”Travel safe! Love you!” in one breath and in the next they were gone.
”If you want to talk about anything, anything at all, just call me,” Patti said in her squeaky soprano voice. She was perched on our low breakfast counter, swinging her feet in the open s.p.a.ce below it.
”Listen, you terrible old biddy, that child forgets that she's not my equal but I think her heart is in the right place.”
”Oh? She has a heart?”
”Probably. And the last thing she needs is a neurotic mother-in-law destabilizing her life with whining and wailing.”
”If you say so, but still, don't you want to just slap the c.r.a.p out of her?”
”About every five minutes. But I know she can't help herself so I try to keep my gears in neutral.”
”You're a better woman than me, Cathryn Mahon Cooper. Listen, have you done any packing?”
”My clothes are in boxes all over the floor of the bedroom.”
”Let's fill your SUV up and start taking stuff to my house.”
”Okay. No! Wait! I can't go yet. I didn't even see Albertina yet this morning!”
”Well, you'd better tell her to hustle herself home because the weather's not getting any nicer out there.”
”You're right. I'll call her on the intercom.”
There was no reply when I buzzed her room.
”I'm just gonna go and check on her.”
”She's fine,” Patti said.
Patti always thought everyone was fine but then she'd never had children to give her panic attacks or found her husband dead, hanging by his neck.
I moved quickly up the back stairs to the third floor and heard the shower running and her singing something in Portuguese. Albertina had a pretty voice, as clear and feminine as could be and I stood there for a moment listening. She had probably never smoked a cigarette or screamed her head off at a rock concert. Suddenly, I could envision her singing to her babies as I had when mine were little. Oh! What a sweet time in my life that had been. So sweet. In my mind's eye, it was twenty years ago. I was rocking my children at night to help them settle down for bed. I became sentimental and nostalgic. The time had gone so quickly and I would've given anything in the world right then to time-travel to those days even for just five minutes.
Russ was a man now and Sara was a young woman. Sara was going to find her way into the world like we all do. Until Addison's suicide, I had not really been worrying about her too much as I had when she was younger. But how would losing her father this way impact her in the long run? Russ seemed happy in his life but I worried about him for the same reason. I wondered if and when he and Alice planned to have children. I knew the answer for the immediate future was no time soon, because he stammered and turned red when I asked him, which I tried not to do every time the question popped to mind. The question came to mind every time I heard his voice or saw his face. It was all about Alice establis.h.i.+ng her practice and she wanted to wait for a while, until they saved money, until the yard was fenced in, until what? Well actually, I had to give Alice her due. Her womb was her own private property and if she didn't feel ready for motherhood yet, then she was right to wait. The world did not need any more mothers who didn't want to be mothers. But I was filled with longing to hold a baby in my arms and I hoped that she would soon feel the same way. Dear Lord, please don't let their children have Alice's unfortunate disposition. Thank you, Lord, Amen. I frequently said little prayers like this to hedge my bets with the Almighty.
When I heard the water stop I waited a few minutes and then rapped my knuckles on the door.
”Good morning!” I said.
The door edged open and there she stood in a towel with clouds of steam all around her.
”Do you need me, Mrs. Cooper?”
”No, I'm sorry to disturb you. I just wanted to let you know that I'm going over to Patti's with a carload of stuff. If the wine movers show up early, just show them where the cellar is, okay? And call me on my cell if they do. And the electricians. FYI, there's some fabulous oatmeal, well maybe not so fabulous, in the kitchen. Just nuke it for a minute. And it's snowing like the devil outside. I'll be back. You take your time. No rus.h.!.+ No rush at all!”
By three that afternoon, the streets were plowed, all of my personal possessions, the contents of my safe, and the children's belongings that they wanted were all piled up in Mark and Patti's bas.e.m.e.nt, and Albertina was safely home with her children. We hugged and promised to keep in touch. As she was leaving she put a business card in my hand.
”What's this?” I said.
”This is the number for the piano repair company.”
”Oh! Tina! Thank you. Oh my G.o.d, what am I going to do without you?”
”You'll do just fine, Mrs. Cooper, but I'm going to miss you a lot.”
”Me too.”
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