Part 30 (2/2)

It is an open question whether the nature of the engagement should be stated or not. Even intimate friends often confine themselves to the statement of the bare fact only that a prior engagement exists; others, on the contrary, state the nature of the engagement, and there is no doubt that this latter course considerably softens a refusal and lessens the disappointment experienced, and therefore, when practicable, should always be followed.

When a prior engagement cannot be made the basis of a refusal, then the refusal must rest on other lines; ill health, a severe cold, etc., are valid excuses. Failing these, the refusal should be as follows:--”Mrs.

Z. regrets she is unable to accept Mrs. X.'s kind invitation, etc.”

It occasionally happens that it is desirable to break an engagement, circ.u.mstances having changed the aspect of things. The invitation, perhaps, was a verbal one, and a refusal was not easy at the moment.

Again, impromptu invitations are sometimes refused, having been too hastily accepted--the servant who brought the note waited for an answer, and on the impulse of the moment an affirmative answer was given; the wife had not time to consult her husband, and accepted for him as well as for herself; or perhaps some potent domestic reason that could not be explained induced a subsequent refusal.

The fas.h.i.+onable world accepts refusals as a matter of course, and fills up the gaps with other invitations.

Refusals of dinner invitations from those for whom a dinner-party was partly originated are always disappointing, even to the most popular of dinner givers, in the same way that the absence of the princ.i.p.al neighbour from a county entertainment is felt to cast a shadow over the proceedings of the day.

Although printed cards of acceptance and of refusal are in general use, yet many cases arise which render written refusals imperative.

As regards the refusal of invitations asked for, such requests should not be made unless on very safe ground, and with a certainty of meeting with acquiescence, yet occasionally these requests are either unwelcome or inadmissible, and refusals are consequently given; but, unless worded with tact and good nature, they are often the cause of strained relations between both friends and acquaintances.

CHAPTER x.x.xII

WALKING, DRIVING, AND RIDING

=The Usual Hours for Walking= in the Park are from 9 until 10.30 a.m.

The hours for afternoon walking and sitting in the Park are from 4 to 7 p.m. during the summer months.

The fas.h.i.+onable hours for walking in the Park on Sunday are from 1 to 2 p.m., both in winter and summer; and from 5 to 7 p.m. in the summer months.

Married ladies can, if they please, walk out unaccompanied or unattended in places of public resort in town or on the parades of fas.h.i.+onable watering-places; but married ladies, especially if they are young, usually prefer the society of another lady, not so much, perhaps, for propriety as for companions.h.i.+p, as to walk alone, either in town or at fas.h.i.+onable watering-places, renders a lady more or less conspicuous, especially if she is attractive and well dressed.

A young lady can now also walk by herself in the Park for the purpose of joining her friends and acquaintances, both in the morning and in the afternoon, but she should not sit alone.

Again, young ladies may walk alone in the fas.h.i.+onable streets, but they should not loiter when alone at shop-windows as they pa.s.s, but walk at a quick pace from shop to shop, or from street to street.

In the quiet neighbourhoods of towns, suburban towns, and watering-places, young ladies walk unaccompanied and unattended to visit their friends residing in the near vicinity of their homes, or to attend cla.s.ses, or for the purpose of shopping, etc. Indeed, great independence is generally accorded in this respect, the line being drawn at evening hours--that is to say, at walking alone after dusk.

At watering-places, and at all public promenades, it is usual for gentlemen to join ladies with whom they are acquainted, and to walk with them for a short time when it is apparent that their company is desired, but not otherwise.

Ladies and gentlemen, whether related or not, should never walk arm-in-arm, unless the lady is an elderly one, or an invalid, and requires this support.

=Driving.=--From 3 to 6.30 are the received hours for the afternoon drive during the summer, and from 2.30 to 4.30 during the winter.

The following rules as regards entering and leaving a carriage apply to a motor-car or an electric brougham as far as the construction, make, and size of the same render it possible.

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