Part 2 (1/2)
CHAPTER VI
”I FEEL NO ATTRACTION”
Some boys and girls, with hearts of gold, have often said: ”I feel no attraction for the higher life. I appreciate it, admire it, and yet I fear it is not for me, as I have no inclination to it. If G.o.d wanted me, He would so perceptibly draw me to Him that there could be no mistaking His designs.”
Almighty G.o.d is wonderful in His ways, and He ”draws all things to Himself,” but by methods varying as the temperaments and characteristics of the human soul. Sometimes He speaks to His chosen ones in thunder tones, as when He struck down St. Paul from his horse, on the road to Damascus, saying from heaven, ”Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? . . . It is hard for thee to kick against the goad.” (Acts ix: 4.) Again He speaks in gentle accents, as to St.
Matthew, the publican, when he sat at his door taking customs, saying to him, ”Follow me!” At other times He seems silent and indifferent, standing quietly by, letting reason and conscience argue within us, and point out our line of action.
There is what is called vocation by attraction, and also such a thing as vocation by conviction. Some of the great saints from earliest childhood felt a strong, irresistible charm in the higher life; they were drawn by the golden chain of love to the cloister. ”I have never in my life,” said a boy, ”thought of being anything but a religious.”
Some young people have no difficulty in making up their minds to follow Christ, their whole bent of thought and character being for the n.o.bler life. Like Stanislaus, they ever say, ”I was born for higher things.” It was such a precocious disposition of heart that led St.
Teresa to foreshadow her saintly career when, as a little girl, she ran away from home to become a hermit.
But feeling is not always a trustworthy guide, either in temporal or spiritual matters; reason, slow but sure, is generally much safer. You feel the fascination of worldly things, of company and society, fine clothes, luxuries and comforts, the dazzling stage of life with its applause of men. Is that a sign G.o.d destines you for worldly vanities?
Quite the contrary, for all Christians are warned against the seductions of the world and the flesh; and the life of the counsels is essentially a constant struggle with nature and its allurements. ”The kingdom of heaven,” we are told, ”suffers violence, and the violent bear it away.”
If the following of Christ were easy and agreeable to the senses, where would be the merit and reward of it? Just in proportion as it involves effort and the overcoming of natural repugnance, does it become high and sublime. ”Do not think,” says Our Lord (Matt. x: 34), ”that I came to send peace upon earth: I came not to send peace, but the sword. For I came to set a man at variance with his father, and the daughter with her mother. . . . He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me.”
Natural antipathy then to the higher life, far from indicating that G.o.d does not want us, merely shows that the inferior powers of the soul are striving against the superior. In fact, when this aversion becomes p.r.o.nounced, it is sometimes evidence of a keen strife going on within us between nature and grace, which could scarcely happen unless grace were endeavoring to gain the mastery by winning us to Christ.
”But,” it may be objected, ”if nature rebels, does not G.o.d always give a counter supernatural attraction to those whom He calls, so as to smooth the way before them?” Certainly G.o.d gives the necessary grace to perform good actions, but grace is not always accompanied by sensible consolation. Suppose a boy is chided by his parents for a fault and he is tempted to deny it; but overcoming the suggestion he admits his wrong-doing and expresses sorrow for it. In this he acts bravely and with no sense of accompanying satisfaction, since the pain of his parents' displeasure is so keen as to overcome for the moment any other feeling. His action is prompted simply by the conviction of duty.
Accordingly, if a young man knows and clearly sees that he has every qualification for the religious life, and has even been told so by a competent adviser; if he has sufficient talent and learning, a steady disposition and virtuous habits, and the persuasion that the duties of this state are not above his strength; in short, if he is convinced that there is no obstacle, save his own will, between him and the higher life, can he truly say, ”I feel no inclination to such a career, and therefore, I have no vocation”? Such a person, of course, is free to say, ”I will not enter religion,” because there is no obligation inc.u.mbent upon him to this state, but he cannot justly say that G.o.d withholds from him the opportunity or invitation to do so. He has already what is called a remote vocation, as was explained in the fifth chapter, and what he needs is a clearer vision and alacrity of will, which he may have good hope of obtaining by earnest prayer and a generous and insistent offering of self to the disposal of the Divine good pleasure. For Our Lord Himself tells us: ”All things whatsoever you ask when ye pray, believe that you shall receive, and they shall come unto you.” (Mark xi: 24.)
Remove then, my dear young friend, from your mind that false and pernicious notion, which has been destructive of so many incipient vocations, that because you feel no supernatural inclination or sensible attraction, you are not called of G.o.d.
In general, it is sufficient that the aspirant to religious life be free from impediments, and be desirous of entering it. For eligibility to a particular religious congregation the applicant must be fit, that is, he must have the gifts or endowments of mind, heart and body which that inst.i.tute demands; his desire to enter must be based on good and solid motives drawn from reason and faith, and he must have the firm resolve to persevere in the observance of the rule. When to this subjective capacity is added the acceptance of the candidate by a lawful superior, his vocation becomes complete.
The requisites, then, are three, two on the part of the applicant, namely, fitness and an upright intention, and one on the part of the superior, the acceptance or call. Nothing more, nothing less is required. If any one of these three essentials is wanting, there is no vocation to that particular inst.i.tute.
It is worthy of observation, however, that these qualifications of the applicant need be fully evident only towards the end of the novitiate, when the time comes for taking the vows and a.s.suming the obligations.
To enter the novices.h.i.+p, as a rule, much less is required, though even for this preparatory step a person must have the serious intention of trying the life and discovering whether it is suitable to him, and there should be a reasonable prospect of his developing the needful qualifications.
For spiritual directors, then, to regard a vocation as something exceeding rare and intricate, to subject the candidate and his conscience to searching and critical a.n.a.lysis, to hara.s.sing cross-examination and prolonged tests, as though he were a criminal entertaining a fell project, to endeavor to probe into the secret workings of grace within him, is only to cloud in fatal obscurity an otherwise very simple subject.
A high-souled youth or maiden may still be deterred by the thought, ”I now see that I have all the necessary qualifications for the higher life, and hence may embrace it if I choose, but I fear it will be too difficult for me to carry the yoke without sensible devotion or consolation.” In answer to this, we must remember that a hundredfold in this world and life everlasting in the next are promised to those who leave all to follow Christ. In this hundredfold are included many privileges and favors bestowed by G.o.d upon His chosen spouses. Make the effort, overcome nature, decide to embrace G.o.d's offer, and you will find yourself overwhelmed by a deluge of spiritual consolations, which G.o.d has been withholding from you to try your generosity and courage; you will experience the truth of Christ's words, ”My yoke is sweet, and my burden light.” Sensible consolations, in fact, nearly always follow the performance of a virtuous act, but seldom do they precede it. A hungry person, before sitting down to table, may feel cross and out of humor, but as soon as he begins to partake of the generous viands a feeling of genial content and satisfaction with all the world steals over him.
It would, of course, be an error for any one to think that of his own natural powers he could observe the counsels; since this, being a supernatural work, demands strength above nature. But he who feels helpless of himself, should place his entire trust and confidence in G.o.d's grace and a.s.sistance, saying, with the Apostle, ”I can do all things in him who strengthened me” (Ph. iv: 13).
Come, then, to the banquet prepared for you by the great King. Regale yourself with the spiritual viands set before you, and not only will you be strengthened to do G.o.d's will, but transported beyond measure with spiritual delights.
CHAPTER VII
”SUPPOSE I MAKE A MISTAKE?”
A young man once exclaimed to a friend, ”Suppose I make a mistake! I could not bear the disgrace of leaving a religious order after entering it.” Having wrestled with this thought for some time, he finally determined to try the religious life, with the result that after taking the habit, he was too happy to dream of ever laying it aside.