Part 8 (1/2)

”Molly, please stay,” Hallie said, though she was still profoundly disturbed by the idea that twins had lived in this house before Garnet and her and one of them had either killed himself or been killed. But she also realized that one of her and Garnet's very first playdates here was about to end in disaster. That wouldn't bode well as she and her sister tried to make new friends. And, the fact was, they were stuck here in Bethel; they had to make the best of it. So she took a deep breath and then did what she could to salvage the afternoon. She pulled the American Girl doll from eighteenth-century Virginia from its bed and held it under its arms like an offering. She presented the doll to Molly and said, raising her eyebrows theatrically and trying to add an aura of evil to her sentence-as if she were the scariest witch on the scariest Halloween-”Now, how shall we poison the child?”

A nise handled a pestle with the grace of a gourmet chef wielding a chopping knife. This afternoon she was grinding hypn.o.bium, using her black marble mortar because her wooden ones were far too absorbent for a plant this toxic, pounding and swirling the seeds against the sides of the bowl. It sounded almost as if she were dicing an onion on a cutting board or chopping basil for bruschetta. Clary Hardin was sipping green tea and leaning against the counter in Anise's kitchen, telling her about her dinner last night with John, the Messners, and the Lintons. She was pausing now in her story only because her friend was so intent on her work. Finally Anise looked up at Clary and exhaled deeply. ”Tell me more about what you think of the girls,” she said.

”I told you, I think they're delightful. John does, too.”

”This morning Sage described them as rather philistine. She found their uninterest in plants off-putting.”

Clary shook her head at Sage's description. ”They're ten. She forgets what it's like to be ten.”

”She said they want to use Tansy's greenhouse as a playhouse.”

”For now. But I'm sure they'll grow into it.”

”And Emily?” Carefully she tapped most of the powder from the mortar into a wide-mouth gla.s.s canning jar, holding the jar over the sink in the event some spilled over the side. She reserved a teaspoon, which she dropped into a porcelain mixing bowl already filled with flour and margarine and the very last of her maple syrup. She was baking cookies.

”Emily is far more scarred than she lets on,” Clary answered. ”Of course, she is nowhere near the wreck that her husband is. Now he is seriously damaged goods.”

”As he should be. But not the girls?”

Clary thought about this. ”Oh, they are. I think they'll do. Really. But Hallie is far more readable than Garnet. I know children are resilient-”

”Children are resilient,” Anise said, simultaneously agreeing with her friend and cutting her off. ”But often their wounds simply remain invisible until, all at once, whatever is festering there becomes agonizingly apparent.”

”Nevertheless, neither seems quite as traumatized as I would have expected. They're going to have dinner with Reseda tonight, and I will be very interested in her take.”

Anise pressed the lid atop the gla.s.s and then screwed the large ring around the top, sealing the jar shut. ”Reseda's talents are overrated.”

”You only think so because you are some strange exception to the rule. Trust me: When I'm with her, I spend most of my time pus.h.i.+ng all compromising or catty thoughts as far from my mind as possible.”

”I can't believe you have thoughts that are catty.”

Clary smiled. ”But you do believe I have ones that are compromising?”

”Of course,” said Anise, and she squeezed past her friend on the way to the walk-in pantry filled with the raw materials for her cooking and tinctures: her powders and seeds and dried leaves. ”You're married to a lawyer.”

On Sunday night, Emily leaned back against the gleaming steel and marble cooking island in Reseda's kitchen and inhaled deeply the aroma of rosemary and lamb from the oven and the scent of the beeswax candles that seemed to be alight everywhere. It was a wonder the woman had found the counter s.p.a.ce to cook. Emily knew she was a little tipsy-maybe even more than a little-but she didn't care. It felt good to relax and let down her guard a bit. She was drinking some sort of hard, mulled cider and it was like candy. The twins were watching movies on the other side of the house in the den while the rest of the adults were in the sunroom that was attached to this two-hundred-year-old Colonial like an architectural afterthought. In addition to Chip and her, Reseda had invited Holly and a young man with a silver loop in his eyebrow who seemed to be Holly's boyfriend, and the Jacksons-an older couple whose att.i.tude toward her daughters was eerily reminiscent of the way Clary Hardin and Sage Messner had hovered over the twins just last night. Emily had joined Reseda when the hostess came to the kitchen to check on the lamb and toss the potatoes that were roasting on a rack below the meat, offering to help but really hoping only to get away from the Jacksons for a moment.

As soon as she and Chip had arrived at Reseda's, she had known who this older couple was. She wasn't sure how because she had never met them. (She hadn't returned to the Jacksons' to get the bean sprouts and carrot tops for the girls' cla.s.s science project, because Ginger had taken the initiative and brought them to the school.) But, even before Ginger Jackson had opened her mouth, Emily had had a feeling that she was going to recognize the slightly throaty rasp that marked the woman's voice from the answering machine. She pegged the woman to be in her late sixties and her husband, Alexander, to be in his early seventies. She thought she had seen him somewhere before but couldn't pinpoint where or when. Then it clicked: He was the fellow that odd Becky Davis had nearly bowled over the day she raced out of the diner in Littleton. Alexander was tall and powerfully built and, despite his age, could pull off a completely shaved head. His shoulders seemed to be pressing hard against his turtleneck and navy blue blazer. Ginger wore her hair very much like Anise: It was a free-flowing silver mane that cascaded a long way down her back and looked a little wild. She was wearing a peasant skirt that fell to her ankles and rimless eyegla.s.ses with lenses that didn't look much bigger than pennies and seemed to be levitating just over her nose. The two of them, Alexander and Ginger, had been at least as smothering with her twins as the Hardins and the Messners had been on Sat.u.r.day night. They had been so invasive of Hallie's and Garnet's personal s.p.a.ce-what their third-grade teacher back in West Chester had called an individual's bubble-that Garnet had actually backed away from Ginger and sat down on the plush easy chair beside Emily. For a moment, Emily had thought that her daughter was going to crawl into her lap. Then, when the twins had finally been allowed to leave the grown-ups, Ginger had started in on Emily. And she had started in with an eagerness that was downright relentless. She wanted to know whether Emily had ever gardened and what her plans were for her own greenhouse. She offered to come in with seedlings and starters for the makings of an Italian herb garden, as well as what she called the basics of a tincture patch. She said it didn't have to be exotic at first, but-she a.s.sured Emily-it would be soon enough. She admitted that her own greenhouse lacked the powerfully healing aura of Reseda's, though Emily had seen Reseda's that evening, and she honestly wasn't sure what was healing about a greenhouse filled with statues that were either frightening or freakish: A two-headed snake of some kind? A demonic-looking creature that was half man and half goat? A gargoyle clutching tiny humans who seemed to have great, leafy ivy where they should have had hands and feet? Then Ginger had gone on and on about the meadows around her house, comparing it favorably to the home in New Jersey where she and her husband had raised their sons, describing with a naturalist's skill the occasional deer or moose that would wander along the edge of the woods here in Bethel. At one point, Ginger had pulled a compact from the pocket of her jumper and dabbed a watery cream at the edges of Emily's eyes. ”I make this myself,” she told Emily. ”Makes those crow's-feet disappear.” Emily had immediately noted Ginger's surprisingly unlined face but still presumed the secret was Botox or a spectacularly gifted cosmetic surgeon-or, perhaps, both. When Reseda had risen, Emily had fled with her to the kitchen. Reseda seemed to understand that Ginger's enthusiasm had crossed the rather substantial line between animated and rabid.

”She means well,” Reseda was saying, referring to Ginger Jackson. ”I hope it wasn't a mistake inviting her.”

”No, it's fine,” Emily said. Reseda was wearing a perfectly pressed white b.u.t.ton-down blouse, open at the neck just enough to show a hint of the lace on her bra, a black leather skirt that fell to her knees, and charcoal tights. Like Emily, she was not wearing shoes, but otherwise Emily felt underdressed beside her; she was wearing jeans, wool socks, and a blue and green Fair Isle sweater. It was a Sunday night and she had dressed casually. ”But it is nice to catch my breath,” she continued. ”She does have her share of very strong opinions. And she is very, very pa.s.sionate about her gardening and tinctures and creams. But you all are, aren't you?”

Reseda smiled but didn't respond to the question. Instead she said with sisterly camaraderie, ”I'll see if I can discreetly seat you and Ginger at opposite ends of the table.”

”Or in opposite rooms, perhaps.”

Reseda nodded. ”Chip seems a little better,” she observed.

”A little. But PTSD isn't a cold. Depression isn't a cold. It's going to take time.” She thought again of the way he had razed that door in the bas.e.m.e.nt and then how she had found him down there in the middle of the night sixteen or seventeen hours ago. She didn't believe for a moment that he was checking the pilot light.

Reseda slid the roasted potatoes back into the oven and shut the door. ”I think we're just about there,” she murmured and then turned her attention back to Emily. ”His name is Baphomet.”

”What is?”

”The creature in the fountain in my greenhouse. I rather like him.”

Emily gazed down at her drink. Had she mentioned aloud the greenhouse just now? She didn't believe that she had.

”I bought him in a moment of minor anarchism. I knew what people were saying about me, and I thought I would really give them something to talk about.”

”I don't understand.”

”Some people think he's the devil.”

”Baphomet.”

”Yes.”

”And people think you do ... what? Wors.h.i.+p the devil? They think you're a-what's the word?-a Satanist?”

”Or Wiccan. But, I a.s.sure you, I'm neither.”

”John said you're a shaman.”

”I'm not sure John knows what that means.”

”But you are something.”

Reseda sipped her mulled cider and seemed to be contemplating her answer, as if she weren't precisely sure herself. Emily was struck by the woman's eyes, which, in the candlelight in the kitchen, looked almost black. Weren't they usually blue? Her lipstick was the color of a ripe fig, and her face was shaped like a heart. Emily realized that she wanted to kiss her, which struck her as odd because she hadn't kissed a girl since she and a friend experimented at a sleepover in ninth grade. But she and Chip rarely made love now. Perhaps that explained her desire. Between his catatonia, her exhaustion, raising the girls, and the logistics of the move, she guessed that they had had s.e.x perhaps a half dozen times since August 11 (and not once since moving to New Hamps.h.i.+re), and each event had been a rather rote affair. It had felt to her-and, she presumed, to him-like they were going through the motions because they were supposed to. They were married, they were in love; they were supposed to have s.e.x. Before the crash, they had always had a rather interesting s.e.x life, fueled by the three- and four-day absences that marked what he did for a living. Alas, romance, it seemed, was another casualty of Flight 1611.

”When I was a teenager, something happened to my sister and me,” Reseda said finally, stepping over to Emily so that Emily felt her lower back pressed against the counter. Reseda placed her cider on the marble. ”It was violent and horrifying. But I learned something very interesting. Someday I'll tell you.”

”But not tonight, I gather,” Emily said. She found it difficult to speak with Reseda so close, and her voice was barely above a whisper.

”No. Not tonight.”

The woman was standing right in front of her now, and suddenly all Emily could smell was the unrecognizable but absolutely heavenly scent of her perfume-the aroma of the lamb and the rosemary and the candles seemed to have vanished completely-and then the woman was closing her eyes and leaning into her, and pressing those lips the color of figs against hers. Emily was startled, but she closed her eyes, too, and accepted the woman's warm tongue as it explored first her lips and then burrowed gently between them and started teasing the inside of her mouth. She felt Reseda's hand reaching between her legs and ma.s.saging her firmly through her jeans; almost involuntarily she started to move her hips, to grind against the woman's fingers.

And then Reseda was pulling away, her eyes open, smiling in a vague, absentminded sort of way. ”Sweet,” she said softly, and she turned and took a pair of pot holders off the counter and went to remove the lamb from the oven. ”This looks perfect,” she said.

”I don't know what came over me,” Emily said, embarra.s.sed, the words catching in her throat, but already Reseda was placing the great yellow pan with the meat on an ivy-shaped trivet and bringing one long, slender finger to her lips. In the kitchen doorway Emily heard her husband and Alexander Jackson, the two of them laughing about something, and Reseda said to the pair, ”Ah, men. Lovely. Could one of you start pouring the wine in the dining room? We're just about ready.”

Hours later, Emily woke up in the night when she felt Chip's hands on her rear. She had been asleep on her side, and he had pulled her nightgown up and over her waist, and now his fingers were sliding down the crevice and rubbing her. She felt his erection against her thigh, and her mind moved between images of Reseda's closed eyes and the taste of her tongue and the feel of her husband hard against her leg. When his finger entered her, she was shocked at how wet she was. She pressed her a.s.s against him and heard herself purring ever so slightly. She couldn't recall the last time she and Chip had made love in the middle of the night. No, wait, she could. It had been four and a half years ago, when he had gotten home from a deadhead leg at two or two-thirty in the morning after four days away. She started to recall the details, but now Chip was rolling her onto her back and all she was aware of was the feel of his mouth on her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and the way he was raising himself above her-she reached up and grabbed at the sides of his chest, her fingers pressing against his ribs-and entering her. She moaned and rolled her head back against the pillow.

In the morning, while preparing the girls' breakfast with Chip, she tried to make sense of Reseda's kiss and the reality that she and her husband had finally christened their bedroom in New Hamps.h.i.+re-and how, for the first time in well over half a year, the s.e.x had left her satisfied. It wasn't a coincidence, this she knew. There was a connection. But for the life of her she couldn't decide what it meant.