Part 35 (1/2)
Mary shook her head. ”I didn't regret having Jackie.”
”Strange how the Duffys have figured in our lives,” Susan said.
”Are you thinking of his son, Steve? The artist?”
”You and Sean Duffy. Me and Steve.” Susan's mind wandered to the night in the cabin when they became one for a brief moment. Was it just need that drove them together? Or something more.
”I thought you and Steve were just friends.” Mary put her hand on Susan's arm. ”Do you love him?”
”Why do you ask?”
”Because of the look on your face.”
”Like you, it was just one time. Whatever it was, whatever we might have felt, I guess it wasn't meant to be.”
”I just got the news.” Sean ran his fingers through his hair as he stood by his office window looking at the courtyard below. ”I'm not a match for Ashley.” He turned and looked at Susan.
Susan breathed out a sad sigh.
”I need you to do something for me,” he continued. ”Would you fly to Maui and tell Steve?”
”I don't know. I think it's something you should tell him. Not me.”
Sean rubbed the knuckles of one hand with the other. ”You're right. But I'm afraid he'll cut me off. It went badly with Patrick and Katherine.”
”Steve isn't like them.”
Sean nodded. Patrick's face had brimmed with utter contempt when he'd been asked to be tested. ”I have no intention of going through a bone marrow transplant for a stranger,” he snapped.
Katherine's response was, ”So, how many other b.a.s.t.a.r.d children do you have, Sean?”
Sean winced at the memory. He didn't relish being shot down again. ”He'll probably take it better coming from you.”
”Okay.” Susan nodded. ”After all, Ashley is my niece. Isn't this what are families are for?”
Susan was surprised to see a sprawling, gracious home with a long, circular driveway and Range Rover in the garage. Things really changed for Steve.
To her dismay, her heart beat wildly. Oh Steve, why didn't you love me enough? Why did you finish your hippie stage but never thought to call me?
On her last birthday she'd turned twenty-nine. Even with all she'd managed to accomplish, at times she felt an aching loneliness that tore her apart. In a sea of people, she had no one to talk to, no one to share her highs and lows.
Not that there hadn't been men. But that's all they were. Men she pretended to love to make having s.e.x more acceptable. After it was over she was faced with the truth. Love had been a lie she needed to tell herself. Susan didn't want the lie; she wanted a kindred spirit who loved and understood her.
Twice she slept with someone just to fill the void. A combination of too much wine, loneliness, and not enough self-respect. After s.e.x was over, she rested in their arms and tried to enjoy the superficial comfort. Then the lights came on or the sun came out and she was reminded of the tawdriness of her situation. She felt empty and cheap. During those times, she almost hated herself. She often felt like half a person without a mate. And she really was beginning to feel like a loser and an old maid. How pathetic.
Then there was Steve. Their lives had touched for just a moment. Steve was the unfulfilled dream, possibly her soul mate, and once her dearest friend. Now standing outside the door of his gracious, Hawaiian-style home, she felt betrayed. She had thought their lifestyle was the only thing that stood between the two of them. But the way Steve was living made a mockery of that. He never even tried to call to see if they could get back together again.
She rang the doorbell.
An attractive blonde woman in her thirties answered the door.
Susan was momentarily thrown off base again. ”Is Steve home?”
The woman stared at her in the oddest way. ”Sure. I'll go get him. Want to come in?”
Susan stepped into a gla.s.sed-in living room with soaring ceilings and Ohia wood floors. A ma.s.sive lava rock fireplace dominated the room. Above it was an enormous canvas so beautiful, Susan caught her breath. She could almost hear Waimea Falls thundering in the midst of verdant foliage and feel the mist cooling her warm cheeks. Mesmerized, Susan walked around the room, enthralled by the magnificent canva.s.ses on display.
”Your encouragement got me started,” Steve's soft voice said behind her.
She whirled around. Wearing white duck pants and a polo s.h.i.+rt, and looking casually elegant, Steve was a totally different person. Except for his eyes burning a hole in her heart.
”h.e.l.lo Susan,” he said.
Susan wanted to run and embrace him, but found herself unable to move. ”It's been a long time. You're looking good.” Too good, she thought, as her hand touched her throat.
”You too.”
For a while, they just stood there staring at each other.
Steve broke the silence by gesturing to some chairs at the bar. ”Sit down and let me get you a drink. What would you like?”
Susan sat. ”Water would be fine.”
Steve poured two gla.s.ses of water. As he handed hers across the bar, their fingers touched. Susan drew her hand away quickly. ”Thank you.”
Steve sat down across from her, the granite bar between them. ”Did my father send you?”
”Yes.”
”Figures.” Steve raised his gla.s.s. ”I was hoping you came to see me for yourself.”
”In a way I did,” Susan said. ”I could have said no. I'm not his secretary anymore.”
”I know.” Steve looked at her left hand. ”You're not married?”
”No,” Susan sipped her water. ”Are you?”
”No.”
”Oh. I thought the woman who answered ...”
”Jeanne?” Steve laughed. ”She takes care of me. She's my housekeeper.” A Labrador entered the room and sat next to Steve. He reached down and stroked her. ”This is the only lady in my life. Princess, meet Susan. Susan, Princess.”
”She's beautiful.” Susan put down her gla.s.s and ran her fingers on the smooth granite surface of the bar. ”Times sure have changed.”
”I grew up and decided to rejoin the world.”