Part 27 (1/2)
Jackie turned back to her mother with surprise. ”Did you try to do what I did?”
”No, I didn't.” Mary shook her head and kissed Jackie's hand. ”There's always something or someone worth living for now or in the future. Life is full of thunderstorms but they don't last. A year from now your life will be completely different. You can't lose hope because it's what persuades us to go on.”
”But I don't feel there's anything worth living for.” A tear rolled down Jackie's cheek.
”Stop it!” Mary shook Jackie's hand. ”How can you lie there, with all the exceptional gifts G.o.d gave you and whine about your life? There are people worse off than you.”
”I know. The children in China. But right now I can't think of anything worse than the way I feel. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is.”
Mary squeezed her hand again. ”You need help.”
”I guess the doctor told you I should go to rehab.” Jackie's eyes glittered. ”I told him cocaine is not addicting, but he won't listen.”
”It's you who aren't listening,” Mary scolded. ”I understand it's scary. But I'm your mother. I'll help you through it.”
Honolulu: 1966 Mary brought Jackie home after sixty days in an expensive rehab in Arizona. Though her medical insurance plan covered a large chunk of it, it still took most of her savings. But Mary was pleased by the physical and mental changes in Jackie. She didn't seem quite so fragile.
Financially, Jackie was in bad shape. Mary forced her daughter to sell her expensive jewelry for whatever she could get. Jackie sold almost everything she owned and moved back to Hawaii.
Once home, she met and almost immediately got engaged to a lawyer named Gerry Myers. The whirlwind courts.h.i.+p aroused Mary's suspicion.
”Do you think knowing someone for two months is enough to make a life-long commitment?” Mary asked one evening as she got ready for a date with Gerry.
Jackie fiddled with her earrings. ”Gerry is what every mom wants for her daughter. He's a lawyer with a house in Waialae Iki. His dad's the Speaker of the House and his step-mother is the richest woman in Hawaii.” Jackie stood and eyed herself in the mirror, front and back. ”So what's the problem?” She fluffed her hair with both her hands then smoothed her skirt.
”Nothing,” Mary said. ”I just think you should give your relations.h.i.+p some time.”
”Why? I know what I want. And obviously so does he.” Jackie grabbed her purse. ”I want to bury the past before it buries me.”
Mary shook her head. ”Remember the old cliche, money doesn't buy happiness.”
Jackie tossed her head. ”Yeah, but it sure does help the pain.”
”Jackie,” Mary said softly. ”I just want you to be happy.”
”Think about how lucky your grandchildren will be.” Jackie threw her mother's words back at her.
Through the window, Mary watched Jackie slide into Gerry's Mercedes. It was rumored his father would become Hawaii's governor as the first Hawaiian-Chinese-German-Portuguese to ever live in Was.h.i.+ngton Place, the gubernatorial mansion.
Mary turned away from the window. Gerry was a nice man. She only hoped Jackie wasn't marrying for the wrong reasons.
Sean attended the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Gerry Myers held on the grounds of the Myers estate in Lanikai. Tiki torches lined the perimeter of elegant, white tents with scalloped edges strung with twinkling lights. Spring flowers burst from the center of each table. Sterling silver bookmarkers in blue felt bags with the word ”Tiffany” emblazoned in silver were placed beside each plate. Meg generously underwrote her stepson's extravagant wedding.
It was a strange evening. Meg stood in the reception line dressed in pale blue chiffon spangled with starry rhinestones with a look of contentment on her face. The twinge of regret Sean first felt when he heard she married lawyer/politician/Hawaiian activist Danny Myers had disappeared. Danny was a good match for her. They were both pa.s.sionate about their shared beliefs. When he came up to her in the line, he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. ”I'm so happy for you, Meg.”
She squeezed his hand and smiled, ”Thank you.” Her hand lingered for just a moment before she turned her attention to Katherine.
The real surprise of the evening was seeing Mary again. She stood next to Meg and Danny wearing an elegant crimson sheath and pearls. Their eyes met while he was shaking Danny's hand. For a moment, he was transported back to the night of pa.s.sion they shared. He remembered her incredibly soft skin and the way she traced the bridge of his nose with her fingertip. He could almost hear her soft moans growing to a fevered pitch as their excitement built. He used to wonder what became of her. Now here she was, looking more elegant but no different than what she looked like over twenty years before. When he stood in front of her, he stroked her hand with his thumb to let her know he hadn't forgotten.
”It's as if time stood still.” Sean kissed her gently on her cheek. ”You look exactly the same as you did over twenty years ago.”
Was it his imagination or did she suddenly become fl.u.s.tered? She removed her hand from his and clasped her hands together. ”Thank you. You look remarkable yourself.”
”Do you know each other?” Katherine peered at them.
Mary said, ”I was a maid in his Uncle Patrick's house.”
Katherine blinked. ”And Jackie is your daughter?”
”Yes,” Mary held out her hand. ”I'm Mary Han, and this is my husband, Mark.”
Mark nodded and shook Sean's hand then turned to Katherine.
Katherine shook Mark's hand but her eyes were on Mary. She put her hand in the crook of Sean's arm and turned back to Mary. ”You were a maid?”
A pained look crossed Mary's face. But she answered without a trace of embarra.s.sment. ”Yes.”
”That was a long time ago,” Sean put a warning hand on Katherine's. ”Your daughter is as beautiful as you are.”
Mary shot him a grateful look. ”Thank you. I'm very proud of her.”
Katherine pressed Sean's side to signal him to move on.
When they were out of earshot, Katherine hissed. ”There's something about Jackie's mother I don't like. Imagine, saying she's proud of her daughter who posed naked for the whole world to see.”
”Don't be catty, Katherine,” Sean said.
”And I didn't like the way you looked at her.” Katherine tightened her grip on Sean's arm.
”I don't know what you're talking about.” Sean disengaged herself from his wife.
”That's because you can't see yourself. A woman always knows these things.” Katherine frowned. ”Something went on between you two. Men were always playing around with the help in those days.”
”Let me get you a drink. Your imagination is running wild.” Sean took a step back and walked quickly across the floor to the bar before she could respond.
Chapter Thirty-eight.
At eighteen, Susan Han didn't burn her bra, smoke or drink, or do drugs. She hadn't marched in anti-Vietnam War or Civil Rights demonstrations. And, she was still a virgin. When she graduated from Kalani High School in 1966, she was a pro-Vietnam War hawk. That September, she entered the University of Hawaii. She was bright, eager, and impatient to get on with the business of being an adult. In her mind, part of being a grown-up was deciding whether or not to get laid.
”Do guys care whether or not a girl is a virgin anymore?” Susan asked her best friend Deborah as they sat under a banyan tree on campus.
”They'll think you're weird if you don't sleep with them,” Deborah leaned against the ma.s.sive trunk and idly pushed the dirt around with her sneakered foot. ”You're in college now. No one's a virgin.”
”Ever since I got the s.e.x talk, I've been told boys fooled around with bad girls but only married good girls.” Susan looked up through the arms of the banyan tree towering above her into the serene blue sky. She could barely feel the hot sun against her tanned skin. It was always cooler under the giant trees. Nothing grew under its shade. It had to be two hundred years old, she wondered what happened under this tree during its life.
”Parents say all kinds of things to scare you,” Deborah replied. ”Besides, what's good?”