Part 7 (2/2)

”I work for tips,” he said patiently. ”If a girl is tipping me well, even if a guy is tipping me well, I'm gonna flirt a little. That's what bartenders do. You need to get it in your head that it's just part of my job. I know you're doing the same thing out on the floor.”

I nodded.

”This can't turn into anything messy,” he said. ”We've been friends too long to screw it up over some dumb s.h.i.+t. I'm telling you right now that my intentions are not to hurt you, p.i.s.s you off, screw you over, or anything like that. I just like being with you, Roxie. And I'm not gonna like you any less if you tell me what's on your mind. If you ever have something to say, say it. If there's something you want to know, ask me. If you're mad about something, tell me. It doesn't have to be complicated.”

”Okay.”

”No mind-games, no secrets, no lies. Promise me.”

”Promise,” I said.

From that point on, there wasn't any drama between us unless we created it on purpose, which we did on occasion just to spice things up. Like the one time he caught me in the beer cooler.

One of the guys in my section that night had asked if he could do a shot out of my cleavage. Since he was drunk, and giving me $20 for each shot, I let him. Then his whole group of friends decided they wanted a body shot, too. I knew Jake was watching from the bar, but I figured it was okay since we'd already had the conversation about flirting for tips.

When the group left and the crowd started to thin out, I went into the beer cooler. I liked to stock the bar for Jake at night so we could get out earlier.

I was about to grab a case of Miller Lite when I heard the door open and felt him come up behind me. He pushed me up against the boxes, not forcefully, but firmly. He put his hands on my hips and his mouth really close to my ear.

”Are you trying to make me jealous?” He asked. His voice sounded rough and a little jaded, nothing like the sweet and patient tone I was used to. And I kind of liked it. More than kind of, really. It was hot.

”Maybe,” I answered playfully. ”Is it working?”

”I don't care what you do out there,” he whispered into my ear, ”because I know I'm the one who gets to f.u.c.k you when we get out of here.”

He pulled my hips back into him and kissed the back of my neck.

”Do I have to wait that long?” I asked innocently. ”Can't you f.u.c.k me right here? Just like this?”

I heard him gasp. ”You're being naughty tonight.”

He moved away from me just long enough to turn the lock on the door and then he was behind me again.

”I like it,” he said as he tugged my little black shorts down to my knees.

I never even noticed it was cold in there.

Thinking about that night while I sat across from him at the patio table made me so hot I looked over at the pool with desire. I wondered if Jake noticed the color that crept onto my face or the beads of sweat that appeared on my forehead suddenly? Could he hear the sound of my heart pounding?

I was too afraid to look at him, afraid that I would give myself away, and he would know that I'd never gotten over him. I didn't want to be the one who cared more. No one ever wanted to be the one who cared more.

I already made it clear that our s.e.x life was stellar, but there was more to it than that. After our first s...o...b..ll fight, when he told me his intentions, things were easier.

Being able to be honest all the time was a whole new way of life for me and I loved it. Saying what was on my mind without fear of judgment was so liberating. I don't think most people realize how much we keep to ourselves, either because we're afraid of what people might think, or we're afraid of hurting them. Jake gave me the freedom to be me and he still wanted to hang out with me, which I thought was pretty cool. He made me feel comfortable and confident. If only every relations.h.i.+p could be that easy. Unfortunately, when you're that age, most of them are not. I was one of the lucky ones. For a little while anyway.

Just the thought of a s...o...b..ll fight made me realize once again how much I had changed since I'd met Caleb. In the last few years I had stopped being honest, with other people as well as with myself. It was going to be hard for me to open up again. Opening up to someone would put me in a very vulnerable position, and that was scary. But Jake had never disrespected me, intentionally hurt me or made me feel like I didn't matter, so I was willing to give it a try. I was willing to trust him because I remembered how simple life had been as an open person and I wanted to get back to that simplicity.

”I can tell you're uncomfortable being here,” Jake said.

I cleared my throat. ”I'm sorry. My life has been turned upside-down in the past week. I'm not sure I feel comfortable with anything right now.”

”Stop apologizing. That's what I'm talking about. It's weird.”

I picked at the cuticles around my fingernails and avoided his eyes. ”Okay.”

He didn't say anything for a few moments. Eventually I looked up to find him staring at me like he was waiting for me to speak again.

”What?” I asked innocently.

”Are you gonna tell me?”

”Tell you what?”

”What the deal is. Why you're acting so weird.”

”I thought I just did!”

He shook his head. ”Come on,” he coaxed. ”Tell me the truth. What's happening in that head?”

I concentrated on my cuticles so I didn't have to look at him. And then I gave in. What did I have to lose, right?

I took a deep breath and began. ”That day I got here, it wasn't a good morning for me,” I started. ”Leaving New York, not knowing what was going to happen to me. I was scared.”

He nodded.

”But when told me you bought me Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I felt so much better. You made me feel I don't know taken care of, I guess. Like you were trying to protect me and I thought that was really nice of you. Then I hugged you, but you didn't hug me back, and I got the idea that you didn't want me here.”

”I understand,” he said patiently. ”I'm glad I was able to make you feel better. It was my intention. You caught me off guard with the hug but I didn't mean to make you feel unwelcome. I would definitely rather you were here with us than there with him.”

”Why?” I asked.

He shrugged. ”We don't need to get into it because it's not my business. But I am glad you're here. Even though we haven't talked in a long time, I've still got your back, okay?”

OMG! Is he the best or what? ”Thanks.”

”Do you want a redo on the hug?”

I laughed. ”No. But since we're being honest, please don't pat me on the head ever again. It made me feel like a dog.”

”Got it. So how'd the job search go?” he asked.

I leaned back into my chair and sighed very dramatically. ”Not great.”

”Why not?”

”I went to apply at this little Italian place off South Main and you won't believe who the manager is there.”

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