Volume Ii Part 13 (2/2)

After a week, a month, a quarter, And day succeeding after day, Says not a word of his departure, Though not a soul would have him stay.

I've said enough to make him blush, Methinks, or else the devil's in't; But he cares not for it a rush, Nor for my life will take the hint.

But you, my dear, may let him know, In civil language, if he stays, How deep and foul the roads may grow, And that he may command the chaise.

Or you may say--”My wife intends, Though I should be exceeding proud, This winter to invite some friends, And, sir, I know you hate a crowd.”

Or, ”Mr. Dean--I should with joy Beg you would here continue still, But we must go to Aghnecloy;[1]

Or Mr. Moore will take it ill.”

The house accounts are daily rising; So much his stay doth swell the bills: My dearest life, it is surprising, How much he eats, how much he swills.

His brace of puppies how they stuff!

And they must have three meals a-day, Yet never think they get enough; His horses too eat all our hay.

O! if I could, how I would maul His tallow face and wainscot paws, His beetle brows, and eyes of wall, And make him soon give up the cause!

Must I be every moment chid With [2] _Skinnybonia, Snipe_, and _Lean?_ O! that I could but once be rid Of this insulting tyrant Dean!

[Footnote 1: The seat of Acheson Moore, Esq., in the county of Tyrone.]

[Footnote 2: The Dean used to call Lady Acheson by those names. See ”My Lady's Lamentation,” next page.--_W. E. B._]

ON A VERY OLD GLa.s.s AT MARKET-HILL

Frail gla.s.s! thou mortal art as well as I; Though none can tell which of us first shall die.

ANSWERED EXTEMPORE BY DR. SWIFT

We both are mortal; but thou, frailer creature, May'st die, like me, by chance, but not by nature.

EPITAPH IN BERKELEY CHURCH-YARD, GLOUCESTERs.h.i.+RE

Here lies the Earl of Suffolk's fool, Men call'd him d.i.c.ky Pearce; His folly served to make folks laugh, When wit and mirth were scarce.

Poor d.i.c.k, alas! is dead and gone, What signifies to cry?

d.i.c.kies enough are still behind, To laugh at by and by.

Buried, June 18, 1728, aged 63.

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