Volume I Part 34 (1/2)
Some try to learn polite behaviour By reading books against their Saviour; Some call it witty to reflect On ev'ry natural defect; Some shew they never want explaining To comprehend a double meaning.
But sure a tell-tale out of school Is of all wits the greatest fool; Whose rank imagination fills Her heart, and from her lips distils; You'd think she utter'd from behind, Or at her mouth was breaking wind.
Why is a handsome wife ador'd By every c.o.xcomb but her lord?
From yonder puppet-man inquire, Who wisely hides his wood and wire; Shows Sheba's queen completely drest, And Solomon in royal vest: But view them litter'd on the floor, Or strung on pegs behind the door; Punch is exactly of a piece With Lorrain's duke, and prince of Greece.
A prudent builder should forecast How long the stuff is like to last; And carefully observe the ground, To build on some foundation sound.
What house, when its materials crumble, Must not inevitably tumble?
What edifice can long endure Raised on a basis unsecure?
Rash mortals, ere you take a wife, Contrive your pile to last for life: Since beauty scarce endures a day, And youth so swiftly glides away; Why will you make yourself a bubble, To build on sand with hay and stubble?
On sense and wit your pa.s.sion found, By decency cemented round; Let prudence with good-nature strive, To keep esteem and love alive.
Then come old age whene'er it will, Your friends.h.i.+p shall continue still: And thus a mutual gentle fire Shall never but with life expire.
[Footnote 1: A delicate way of speaking of a lady retiring behind a bush in a garden.--_W. E. B_.]
[Footnote 2: ”Though deep, yet clear, though gentle, yet not dull Strong without rage, without o'erflowing, full.”
DENHAM, _Cooper's Hill._]
[Footnote 3: A veil with which the Roman brides covered themselves when going to be married.--_W. E. B._]
[Footnote 4: Marriage song, sung at weddings.--_W. E. B._]
[Footnote 5: Diana.]
[Footnote 6: Who married Thetis, the Nereid, by whom he became the father of Achilles.--Ovid, ”Metamorph.,” lib. xi, 221, _seq.--W. E. B._]
[Footnote 7: See Ovid, ”Metamorph.,” lib. iii.--_W. E. B_.]
[Footnote 8: A precept of Pythagoras. Hence, in French _argot_, beans, as causing wind, are called _musiciens.--W. E. B._]
[Footnote 9: Provocative of perspiration and urine.]
[Footnote 1: ”Mingere c.u.m bombis res est saluberrima lumbis.” A precept to be found in the ”Regimen Sanitatis,” or ”Schola Salernitana,” a work in rhyming Latin verse composed at Salerno, the earliest school in Christian Europe where medicine was professed, taught, and practised. The original text, if anywhere, is in the edition published and commented upon by Arnaldus de Villa Nova, about 1480. Subsequently above one hundred and sixty editions of the ”Schola Salernitana” were published, with many additions. A reprint of the first edition, edited by Sir Alexander Croke, with woodcuts from the editions of 1559, 1568, and 1573, was published at Oxford in 1830.--_W. E. B._]
APOLLO; OR, A PROBLEM SOLVED 1731
Apollo, G.o.d of light and wit, Could verse inspire, but seldom writ, Refined all metals with his looks, As well as chemists by their books; As handsome as my lady's page; Sweet five-and-twenty was his age.
His wig was made of sunny rays, He crown'd his youthful head with bays; Not all the court of Heaven could show So nice and so complete a beau.
No heir upon his first appearance, With twenty thousand pounds a-year rents, E'er drove, before he sold his land, So fine a coach along the Strand; The spokes, we are by Ovid told, Were silver, and the axle gold: I own, 'twas but a coach-and-four, For Jupiter allows no more.
Yet, with his beauty, wealth, and parts, Enough to win ten thousand hearts, No vulgar deity above Was so unfortunate in love.
Three weighty causes were a.s.sign'd, That moved the nymphs to be unkind.
Nine Muses always waiting round him, He left them virgins as he found them.