Part 6 (1/2)
”Into it? I wouldn't say that.” He waited, choosing his words with great care, moving slowly. It was crucial she understood this and what it meant. He knew that might take time, and he was willing to be as patient as required. ”I'm a Dominant. It isn't something I'm into. It's part of who I am. A part of my personality.”
”And you'd expect...” She trailed off.
”That you'd be my submissive?” he finished. ”Yes.”
She started again. ”You'd want...”
”I would.”
Her earlier poise had worn off, and her breathing was ragged. This was what he liked. Women who were honest. ”Tell me what you know about it,” he prompted.
She stalled before saying, ”This doesn't seem to be the right time or place for this discussion.”
”I'm happy to move it to my house. Or yours.”
”How about a coffee shop or restaurant?” she suggested. ”Where we're not totally alone.”
He shook his head. ”You'd be free to leave at any time if you're uncomfortable, or to ask me to go.”
”On second thought, your office is fine.”
”So tell me what your understanding is.”
”I know what the initials mean.”
When she'd first arrived, her voice had been confident, made so by her rehea.r.s.ed speech. But now... Her words were more carefully s.p.a.ced, and her voice was a bit higher pitched, as if her vocal cords were stressed. She was real, more open, perhaps feeling a bit vulnerable.
”And I've had a little experience, well, maybe not what you'd consider experience.”
He waited.
”I dated a guy who used a flogger on me. Once he used a blindfold. He tied my wrists together with some rope.”
He slowly sat back. ”Anything else?”
”A spanking, over his knees.” She fidgeted, a trait he found charming.
”What were your thoughts about the experience?”
She finished the coffee that had to be cold by now. He let her stall for as long as she needed.
”The whole thing?” she asked finally. ”Or just the spanking?”
”The whole thing.”
”It was fine.”
”Those are d.a.m.ning words.”
”To be honest, I was disappointed. I didn't understand what all the fuss was about. I liked the blindfold and having my hands secured, but the flogger d.a.m.n well hurt. If there was supposed to be any pleasure, I never experienced it. And when I was over his knee, I'm afraid I had an attack of the giggles.”
Another answer Connor hadn't been expecting.
After sliding the mug back onto the coaster, she met his gaze. ”Maybe I was hoping for something more. When he spanked me hard enough to stop the giggles, it freaking stung.”
”I imagine it was supposed to,” he said wryly.
”Other than feeling the pain, I came away with nothing. Afterward we had s.e.x, but-” Abruptly, she stopped talking.
”We have to talk openly.”
”Even if it's embarra.s.sing?”
”Especially then.”
”How did I know you were going to say that?” She crossed her arms over her chest and held onto her shoulders. Then, obviously realizing she was betraying herself, she lowered her arms. ”I expected more from the s.e.x, I guess, but it was the same old thing.” Her face was a lovely shade of pink. ”Missionary. Over too soon. After that relations.h.i.+p, I dated another guy and things were... I'm trying to be polite.”
”Go on.”
”I guess the best word for it is predictable.”
”Boring?”
”Boring,” she repeated. ”I asked him if we could experiment a little. When I told him what I wanted, he tried. He tied me up, but the knots were so loose that I could slip my hands out. It sort of lost something when I had to work to keep them in place. He placed a tie over my eyes, and that was as close as he got to a blindfold. When I asked him to spank me, he untied me and told me I was too extreme for him. He seemed really disturbed by it, and I never saw him again. The last guy I dated...well, let's say there was no chemistry.”
He wasn't sure what to think of a man who had a willing woman in his arms and didn't attempt to give her what she wanted, whether he was into it or not. ”I can guarantee that I will be willing to at least talk about anything you want to try. We'll have plenty of discussions about that.” Connor saw her shudder. From thrill, he hoped. ”Have you ever been to a club? A play party?”
She shook her head and he caught the glitter of an earring. For a wild, wicked moment, he wanted to see his initials there, in diamonds. ”Is there anything you wanted to experience?”
She hesitated, and he waited. Finally, she tipped back her head. ”When I m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e, I think about a man's belt.”
”I think we could arrange that.”
”I might hate it. It could ruin the fantasy.”
”It could,” he agreed. ”And it could make it even better. Anything else?”
”You're asking a lot of questions, Mr. Donovan. Tell me about you, what it is you think I need to know.”
”As I mentioned, BDSM isn't something I'm merely into. Kinky s.e.x like you're suggesting is fine. Awesome, in fact. I definitely enjoy it. I'd love to see your body spread wide, held open for me. But I see that as an extension of a relations.h.i.+p rather than replacing it.”
”I'm a bit confused. I thought it was all about the tying up and beating.”
”To some people, it is. And that's fine. To me, it's much, much more. Tell me, do you consider yourself compa.s.sionate?”
She blinked. ”Of course.”
”Loyal to your family and friends?”
”Naturally.”