Volume VI Part 33 (1/2)
SHONNY SCHWARTZ
BY CHARLES FOLLEN ADAMS
Haf you seen mine leedle Shonny,-- Shonny Schwartz,-- Mit his hair so soft und yellow, Und his face so blump und mellow; Sooch a funny leedle fellow,-- Shonny Schwartz?
Efry mornings dot young Shonny-- Shonny Schwartz-- Rises mit der preak off day, Und does his ch.o.r.es oup righdt avay; For he gan vork so vell as blay,-- Shonny Schwartz.
Mine Katrina says to Shonny, ”Shonny Schwartz, Helb your barents all you gan, For dis life vas bud a shban: Py und py you'll been a man, Shonny Schwartz.”
How I lofes to see dot Shonny-- Shonny Schwartz-- Vhen he schgampers off to schgool, Vhere he alvays minds der rule!
For he vas nopody's fool,-- Shonny Schwartz.
How I vish dot leedle Shonny-- Shonny Schwartz-- Could remain von leedle poy, Alvays full off life und shoy, Und dot Time vould not annoy Shonny Schwartz!
Nefer mindt, mine leedle Shonny,-- Shonny Schwartz; Efry day prings someding new: Alvays keep der righdt in view, Und baddle, den, your own canoe, Shonny Schwartz.
Keep her in der channel, Shonny,-- Shonny Schwartz: Life's voyich vill pe quickly o'er; Und den ubon dot bedder sh.o.r.e Ve'll meet again, to bart no more, Shonny Schwartz.
A BULLY BOAT AND A BRAG CAPTAIN
_A Story of Steamboat Life on the Mississippi_
BY SOL SMITH
Does any one remember the _Caravan_? She was what would now be considered a slow boat--_then_ (1827) she was regularly advertised as the ”fast running,” etc. Her regular trips from New Orleans to Natchez were usually made in from six to eight days; a trip made by her in five days was considered remarkable. A voyage from New Orleans to Vicksburg and back, including stoppages, generally ent.i.tled the officers and crew to a month's wages. Whether the _Caravan_ ever achieved the feat of a voyage to the Falls (Louisville) I have never learned; if she did, she must have ”had a _time_ of it!”
It was my fate to take pa.s.sage in this boat. The Captain was a good-natured, easy-going man, careful of the comfort of his pa.s.sengers, and exceedingly fond of the _game of brag_. We had been out a little more than five days, and we were in hopes of seeing the bluffs of Natchez on the next day. Our wood was getting low, and night coming on.
The pilot on duty _above_ (the other pilot held three aces at the time, and was just calling out the Captain, who ”went it strong” on three kings) sent down word that the mate had reported the stock of wood reduced to half a cord. The worthy Captain excused himself to the pilot whose watch was _below_ and the two pa.s.sengers who made up the party, and hurried to the deck, where he soon discovered by the landmarks that we were about half a mile from a woodyard, which he said was situated ”right round yonder point.” ”But,” muttered the Captain, ”I don't much like to take wood of the yellow-faced old scoundrel who owns it--he always charges a quarter of a dollar more than any one else; however, there's no other chance.” The boat was pushed to her utmost, and in a little less than an hour, when our fuel was about giving out, we made the point, and our cables were out and fastened to trees alongside of a good-sized wood pile.
”Hallo, Colonel! How d'ye sell your wood _this_ time?”
A yellow-faced old gentleman, with a two weeks' beard, strings over his shoulders holding up to his armpits a pair of copperas-colored linsey-woolsey pants, the legs of which reached a very little below the knee; shoes without stockings; a faded, broad-brimmed hat, which had once been black, and a pipe in his mouth--casting a glance at the empty guards of our boat and uttering a grunt as he rose from fastening our ”spring line,” answered:
”Why, Capting, we must charge you _three and a quarter_ THIS _time_.”
”The d--l!” replied the Captain--(captains did swear a little in those days); ”what's the odd _quarter_ for, I should like to know? You only charged me _three_ as I went down.”
”Why, Capting,” drawled out the wood merchant, with a sort of leer on his yellow countenance, which clearly indicated that his wood was as good as sold, ”wood's riz since you went down two weeks ago; besides, you are awar that you very seldom stop going _down_--when you're going _up_ you're sometimes obleeged to give me a call, becaze the current's aginst you, and there's no other woodyard for nine miles ahead; and if you happen to be nearly out of fooel, why--”
”Well, well,” interrupted the Captain, ”we'll take a few cords, under the circ.u.mstances,” and he returned to his game of brag.
In about half an hour we felt the _Caravan_ commence paddling again.
Supper was over, and I retired to my upper berth, situated alongside and overlooking the brag-table, where the Captain was deeply engaged, having now the _other_ pilot as his princ.i.p.al opponent. We jogged on quietly--and seemed to be going at a good rate.
”How does that wood burn?” inquired the Captain of the mate, who was looking on at the game.