Volume VI Part 18 (2/2)
_April eleventh_
Free this day and being free comes Mrs. Badminton weeping and declareth she be ruined if I marry her not next the which doth so overcome me that ere I have time to rally she hath kissed me and called me hers.
To my office with a heavy heart having no a.s.surance of how this second marriage will turn out and little hope but seeing H. Nevil with a long face did refuse to give him any inside information the which led to his going under about noon to my great joy for it was he who did get me in this marrying habit.
_February first_
My birthday and Lord what eating and drinking the which being good beyond compare my wife staying in the pantry to keep the whole in trim and all my friends discoursing on my joy the which is truly great she being so plain that a man will never look at her and so loving that she adoreth me come smiles come frowns.
But that which doth astonish me much is that H. Nevil telleth me that she that was once my wife is of exceeding content with La.s.selle a piece of news which I can scarce credit comparing him with myself.
But so wags the world.
THE PAINTERMINE[3]
BY KENYON c.o.x
Its innocence deserves no jibe-- Pity the creature, do not mock it.
'Tis type of all the artist tribe; Its trousers haven't any pocket!
[Footnote 3: From ”Mixed Beasts,” by Kenyon c.o.x. Copyright 1904, by Fox, Duffield & Co.]
THE ADVERTISER
BY EUGENE FIELD
I am an advertiser great!
In letters bold The praises of my wares I sound, Prosperity is my estate; The people come, The people go In one continuous, Surging flow.
They buy my goods and come again And I'm the happiest of men; And this the reason I relate, I'm an advertiser great!
There is a shop across the way Where ne'er is heard a human tread, Where trade is paralyzed and dead, With ne'er a customer a day.
The people come, The people go, But never there.
They do not know There's such a shop beneath the skies, Because _he_ does not advertise!
While I with pleasure contemplate That I'm an advertiser great.
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