Volume Iii Part 34 (1/2)
And the delicate Empress clenched her little white fist, the fingers of which had become more transparent than ever.
”Ah,” she exclaimed, ”how I hate her! Yes, and I envy her too! Stupid people are always healthy. But she shall not rejoice while I suffer!”
”And the fate of the Capitol depends upon such a woman's hatred!”
exclaimed Cethegus to himself. ”Down with Cleopatra!”
”The foolish woman is in love with her husband's honour and glory.
There I can wound her fatally!” continued Theodora.
As she spoke the twitching of her delicate features betrayed an attack of acute pain; she threw herself back upon her cus.h.i.+ons.
”My little dove,” said Galatea, ”do not be angry. Thou knowest what the Persian said. Every excitement, be it of love or of hate----”
”Yes. To hate and to love is life! And as one grows older, hatred is almost sweeter than love. Love is false; hate is true.”
”In both,” said Cethegus, ”I am a novice compared to you. I have always called you the Siren of Cyprus. One can never be sure that you will not suddenly tear your victim in the very act of embracing him--either from love, or from hate. And what has suddenly changed your love of Antonina into hatred?”
”She has become virtuous, the hypocrite! Or can she be really so weak-minded? It is possible. Her fishy blood can never be made to boil.
For a strong pa.s.sion or a bold crime she was always too cowardly. She is too vain to forego admiration and too paltry to reciprocate it.
Since she accompanied her husband on his campaign she has become quite virtuous. Ha, ha, ha! because she was obliged! Even as the devil fasts when he has nothing to eat. Because I kept her lover a prisoner.”
”Anicius, the son of Boethius? I heard of it.”
”Yes, he. When in Italy Antonina again clung to her husband and shared his fame and his misfortunes. And since that time she is a very Penelope! When she returned here, what did the goose do? She reproached me with having enticed her from the path of virtue! and swore that she would save Anicius from my toils. And she succeeds, the snake! She opens the gates of conscience and weans my unfaithful chamberlain more and more from me--of course only to keep him for herself.”
”So you cannot imagine,” said Cethegus, ”that any woman can try to save a soul?”
”Without profit? No. But at the same time she deceives herself and him by pious speeches. And oh! how gladly the youth allows himself to be saved by this youthful blooming saint from the arms of the faded woman--who is wasted before her time! Ha!” she added pa.s.sionately, starting from her seat, ”how pitiable that the body must succ.u.mb from fatigue before the soul has half satisfied its thirst for life! And to live is to rule, to hate, and to love!”
”You seem insatiable in these arts and enjoyments.”
”Yes,” cried Theodora, ”and I am proud of it. Must I indeed leave the richly-spread table of existence, must I leave this imperial throne, with all my ardent love of joy and power still unquenched? Shall I only sip a few more drops? Oh, Nature is a miserable blunderer! Once in many thousand ages she creates, amid a host of cripples, ugly in body and weak in mind, a soul and body like mine, perfect and strong, and full of the longing to live and to enjoy for an eternity. And, when only six l.u.s.tres have pa.s.sed, when I have scarcely sipped of the full cup offered to me. Nature dries up the spring of life! A curse upon the envy of the G.o.ds! But men can envy too, and envy changes them into demons. Others shall not enjoy when I can do so no longer! Others shall no more laugh when I must writhe in agony all night long! Antonina shall not rejoice in her youth with the false man who was once mine and yet could think of another, or of virtue, or of heaven! Anicius has told me this very day that he can bear this life without fame and honour no more--that heaven and earth call him away. He shall repent it--together with her. Come, Cethegus,” she said furiously, grasping his arm, ”come; we will destroy them both!”
”You forget,” said Cethegus coldly, ”that I have no reason to hate either her or him. So what I do will be done for your sake.”
”Not so, you wise and icy Roman! Do you believe that I do not see through you?”
”I hope not,” thought Cethegus.
”You wish to keep Belisarius away from Italy. You wish to fight and conquer alone. Or at most with a shadow beside you, such as Bessas was and Areobindos will be. Do you think I did not understand why you so cleverly managed the recall of Belisarius when before Ravenna? Anxiety for Justinian! What is Justinian to you?”
Cethegus felt his heart beat.
”The freedom of Rome!” continued Theodora. ”Nonsense! You know that only strong and simple men can be trusted with freedom. And you know your Quirites. No, your aim lies higher.”
”Is it possible that this woman guesses what all my enemies and friends do not even suspect?” thought Cethegus.