Part 20 (1/2)

*But we will be doing this in front of everyone na?' I asked her.

*Nah. I can't wait that long.'

*But why?'

*I don't have much time.'

*What do you mean you don't have much time?'

*Shhh ... You ask too many questions,' she said, sweetly tweaking my nose. And then, looking straight into my eyes, she continued, *Because I am dying to be yours ... Hey, handsome! Will you marry me?'

In that moment of happiness, I could not utter anything. I just nodded.

She slid that beautiful ring onto my third finger and, to my surprise, I noticed the ring I got for her was already on her third finger.

I hugged her and kissed her forehead and lips. We held hands.

After few minutes of romantic silence, she suddenly recalled something. *Why did you skip your dinner? You are hungry na.'

*No, I am not,' I said, but she didn't believe me and opened her bag to get another box out. It was the tiffin-box she used to take to her office.

*See what I have made for you.'

*Hey! Rajma chawal!' I almost shouted, troubling the sleeping pa.s.sengers.

With her own hands she fed me my favorite dish. We kept talking. She, more than I. We shared the last bite after which she said to me, *Don't skip your meals. You have to take care of yourself.'

I didn't reply. I was feeling her fingers in my hand.

*Promise me,' she said.

*What?' I asked, distracted, making irregular figures on her palm with my fingers, playing with her ring.

*Promise me you will take care of yourself ... Always.'

*Why?'

Mysteriously, she replied, *Because I may not be able to bring rajma chawal for you all the time.' And she laughed. She looked cute. She kissed me again on my forehead and looked deep into my eyes. I felt something different in that kiss, in her eyes.

And then, just like a kid, she asked me, *Listen, I want to rest my head on your shoulder for a while.'

And so she rested on my left shoulder. We were still holding hands. A few moments of silence pa.s.sed. I checked to see if she was asleep while trying to release my hand from hers. She wasn't. She didn't allow me to take my hand away. She wanted me to hold her tight.

I took her in my arms when she said, *Shona! Thank you for giving me the love of my life.'

I didn't reply, but kissed her hair. We didn't talk much. I wanted her to rest. After so long, we had these moments together. Some more time pa.s.sed. I don't know how much. And then, all of a sudden, I felt something hitting my forehead.

What was that? I could not understand. But I could hear something. Some sound, some kind of vibration, bothering me. For a few seconds I could not figure out what it was. I was struggling to open my eyes.

I found the window pane on my right was still open and my head was resting against the grill. Maybe I hit my head against it in my sleep. I was regaining my senses. In my pocket, my cellphone was ringing.

It was still dark inside the bus. A gust of wind brought me completely out of my sleep. Outside the sky was calm, the moon was losing its sheen, the stars were disappearing. It was early dawn.

And all of a sudden I realized-the ring was missing from my finger. I immediately turned to my left looking for her. But she wasn't there. I got scared. I stood up and looked here and there in order to find her. But I could not see her. She was gone, I don't know where.

The phone in my pocket was still ringing and in my confusion I quickly pulled it out.

*Khus.h.i.+ calling ...'it displayed.

I checked my wrist.w.a.tch. It was 4 a.m. It was an odd time to call.

*It must be urgent,' I thought and picked up the phone. *h.e.l.lo?'

But I didn't get any response from the other side, though I could hear somebody's breath.

*Dad?'

*Beta ...'

I was right. It was Khus.h.i.+'s dad. *Yes, Dad?' I said.

He spoke after a long silence. *Beta ... it's a sad news. Our Khus.h.i.+ is no more. She left us a few minutes back ...'

*But she was here with me a few minutes back ...' I heard someone inside me screaming but not a sound came out.

Something heavy stuck my heart, a terrible blow. My eyes widened. I froze. Some kind of coldness crawled within me. My muscles could not move. My heart seemed to alternately stop beating and pump furiously. My brain went numb. I lost control over myself and the echo of that message beat against my eardrums. I don't remember, I can't recall anything else.

*Waheguru ... Waheguru ... Waheguru ...' was all that came out of me, after which the phone fell out of my hands.

I was blank. All that came to my mind was-I need to go back home, to my parents. At the mid-way stop, I got off the bus and boarded one that went back to Burla. A different sort of calm had come over me. I wasn't crying.

When, hours later, I opened the door to my house, I saw my parents staring at me wondering why I was back. I stood there staring back at them in response.

I was still calm.

Then, summoning all my courage, I told them the saddest news of my life.

As soon as mom heard, she gripped my wrist and looked at the pictures of prophets and G.o.ds on our wall in anger. Dad buried his face in his hands. Mom cried, Dad cried and their cries echoed in that room. I was still calm. Or maybe it was a numbness. Nothing seemed to register in my mind. I looked at them for a while and then left them to go into my room.

I lay on my bed, pulling the blanket completely over me. I curled up there, squeezing my hands between my thighs.

I cried.

Without Her.

*For past few hours, we were seeing the signs of improvement in her, but all of a sudden her blood pressure fell down drastically. The impact was so much that it led to her heart collapse,' said the doctors.

The family wanted to see her.