Part 14 (1/2)
”I handled them,” Vanessa said.
We both spun around. Ca.s.sie's demon was perched on the counter, filing her claws.
”What did you do?” I demanded.
”Nothing permanent.”
”Meaning what?”
”Meaning,” Vanessa said, affecting great weariness, ”that I put them on hold for a little while. All that talking was giving me a headache. Does anyone in your family ever shut up, Devlin?”
Ca.s.sie tried to make it seem as though she'd been coughing. I added that to the list of things we would discuss later. ”On hold?”
”They're fine. Just resting. Don't you believe me?”
By way of answer, I shoved her aside and raced down to the kitchen.
It all looked absolutely normal -- Mom scowling, Connor smirking, both of them with their mouths wide open -- except that everything was frozen. Tentatively, I pulled Connor's hair. Not even a blink. Amy, for her part, was sitting slumped down with one hand over her eyes.
”They were arguing,” Ca.s.sie murmured.
I jumped a little, not having heard her follow me downstairs.
”Connor said you were all too old for bed checks,” she continued. ”But he offered to check up on us. Your mother said something about Adam and Steve, and then Vanessa zapped them.”
”They bored me,” the demon said, behind us.
I didn't even bother to turn. ”That's not the point, Vanessa.”
”Of course it's the point. Your family is positively awful, Devlin. That explains a lot about you, but they're still awful. Want me to put them to sleep for you?”
”Maybe later. Right now, I want you to unzap them and then go away so I can get dressed.”
”You look all right,” the demon said. ”For you, anyway.”
”I can't go around in a robe all day.”
”Oh, I don't know about that. You're not always this uptight. And Lucifer knows she isn't. There was that one day at the beach...” She let her voice trail off delicately, to give us time to catch her drift.
”How do you know about that?” Ca.s.sie asked, outraged.
”I get around. It's one of the perks of the job.”
I was going to perk her for that. But Ca.s.sie blocked me and refused to move. ”You mean you see everything that goes on?”
”We can if we want. It's a little like being Santa.” The demon smirked and then broke into song: We see you when you're sleeping We know when you're awake We know if you've been bad or good So be bad, for goodness' sake...Ow!
That last word was supposed to be ”Oh!”, of course, but Ca.s.sie had just pinched her.
”Just fix it,” I told Vanessa.
”Oh, all right.” Sulking, she started to take the spell off, but then something occurred to her. ”Do you want a couple of minutes' head start?”
”What for?”
”You forgot to turn the shower off. If your mother finds out, you're in big trouble.”
I hated it when demons were right. Unwillingly, I turned to go back upstairs.
”By the way,” Vanessa called. ”About the snake.”
d.a.m.n -- I'd already forgotten about it. What did it say for my quality of life that I had worse problems than snakes in the shower? ”What about it?”
”That was Monica's idea. I can't help you with her here. Wish I could.”
Ca.s.sie blanched. ”You mean there really was a snake?”
”An anaconda,” Vanessa confirmed.
I smiled triumphantly at Ca.s.sie, who was edging closer to me.
”It might be back,” the demon added. ”I really don't know what Monica's up to. But don't worry -- anacondas aren't poisonous. They just squeeze you to death.”
There was a very long silence in the kitchen, and not just on the part of the frozen parties.
”Hurry up and get dressed,” Ca.s.sie finally said. ”I'll call the Holiday Inn.”
As soon as we checked in, I curled up on one of the beds to review the ruin of my life: no job, two demons, and a blonde girlfriend who'd just outed me to my family. She'd had the best of intentions, but we were still done for. Connor and Ryan would tree us, Mom would finish us, and the giant snake would be lucky if there were any leftovers.
”I was born in this town,” I told Ca.s.sie absently. ”And I'm going to die here. This Christmas.”
”No, you're not.”
”Yes, I am.”
”No, you're not.”
”Yes, I am.”
”No, you're not.” She stopped unpacking cosmetics long enough to give me a severe look in the mirror. ”Stop right there. I mean it.”
I stopped. But my inner 2-year-old was still jumping up and down, howling, and it still wanted out.
”You're not going to die, Devvy. Even if you want to, I won't let you. Got that?”
The phone rang. Reluctantly, I rolled over and grabbed it. ”Got it....h.e.l.lo?”