Part 14 (1/2)

How did I get to this point? How did I get here?

Does everything happen for a reason? Is this fate?

I thought it was. And I hope it is.

Being sent to military school. Running away. Joining the marines.

Being re-deployed in Australia.

The Oz virus.

I guess it's lucky my skills were honed. I can kill a man from two miles away. This gruesome skill has come in unbelievably handy these past couple of months. This skill has no doubt saved my life.

So I try and convince myself that I've done the right thing.

Fate and the choices we make.

When I made the decision to leave my post, to flee from the operation in Woomera, it was because I genuinely believed the military had last control. Command had begun ordering the deaths of the town's people and the refugees. Shoot to kill were our orders. Air strikes. Nuclear strikes. It was bad. And I wanted nothing to do with it. The only thing I wanted to do was warn Rebecca about the plague.

That was my only goal.

And I think I accomplished that.

I found Rebecca. I warned her. She got out of the city before it was too late.

Job done.

So how did I end up here? How did I end up trapped in the city with Jack and Maria?

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure.

Maybe it was pure luck.

Maybe it was fate.

Maybe it was Jack's strength.

Maria's strength.

They're asleep now. It's a deep sleep that can only be brought on by absolute exhaustion. They are sleeping in each other's arms. A tight embrace. A lover's embrace.

I look out over the dark Sydney skyline. I can see the skeleton of the Sydney Harbor Bridge. Smoke that is darker than the silvery moon light billows up to the starry heavens. Orange spot fires that are the devil's eyes populate the city. Looking at me. Watching.

I scribble in this notepad.

It gives me strength Feb 8th - Darling Harbor Two days ago I was stranded and trapped and surrounded and alone in Darling Harbor. The harbor was a picture of chaos. It was the definition of chaos. And I kept telling myself I did the right thing.

”I did the right thing.”

Staying behind on the jetty while Jack, Rebecca and Kim made their escape in the speed boat. Providing a suppressive cover fire. This was the right thing to do. The only thing I could've done.

Yeah.

I did the right thing. They would've been killed otherwise. Their boat would've been shot to pieces.

They would've been shot to pieces.

I kept telling myself I did the right thing. I had to make sure they got away clean.

”I did the right thing.”

I mean, what was the alternative? The pursuing soldiers had the high ground, the numbers, the fire power. They would've been torn to shreds. It would've been a bloodbath.

”I did the right thing.”

Why does doing the right thing suck most of the time?

And Rebecca.

I couldn't get the look on Rebecca's face out of my mind. Her face. I couldn't stop thinking about it. She has never considered herself attractive but G.o.dd.a.m.n it, she is. She's beautiful. She has these big chestnut brown eyes. Wide like saucers. It's like she has this constant inquisitive look about her, like she is always studying everything around her. Taking everything in. Reading you and your thoughts.

You could lose yourself in those eyes for hours. Days.

I should know.

Her lips. Her smile. They way she played with her hair when she was nervous.

Everything about her.

All of this. I can't get her out of my head. I should've been focused on staying alive. I should've been focused on the soldiers closing in on me. I should've been watching out for the infected. But at that moment I was thinking about Rebecca.

A volley of bullets whizzed over my head and smashed into the wooden jetty I was crouched on. More bullets smashed into the surrounding boats. All of the boats were completely wrecked. They had been destroyed by a missile strike the day before. A missile strike that was part of the military's containment protocol.

Yeah, I should've been focused. I should've been taking aim, returning fire. But I couldn't stop thinking about Rebecca's face. It was scrunched up in pain and anguish - it was the realization that I wasn't coming with them.

Her voice.

She screamed at me. Swore at me and cursed me. She was about to jump overboard. But Jack stopped her at the last second. He wrestled with her. Overpowered her.

I continued to provide cover fire as they made their escape.

I told myself it was the only way.

”It was the only way.”

I tell myself I did the right thing.

Surrounded The cold, hard reality is that Jack, Kim, and Rebecca may very well have been blown to bits as they made their escape. It would only take one guns.h.i.+p, just one Apache attack chopper in the area. Or F22 or A10 bomber.

Just one.