Part 42 (1/2)

concerned. Maybe in time you will come back. Maybe in time you will love me as I love you.”

He cussed and stormed to her side. ”It's not that I don't love you, Anne. You know I do. But-”

”But your pride will keep you from having all that should be yours,” she interrupted again.

Merrick wondered what was wrong with the la.s.s. Couldn't she see it was impossible for them to be together now? That he was cursed? That she would be cursed right along with him? Never mind she would have been regardless of what he was but because of who he was. It was foolish of him to agree to her proposal of marriage. What had he been thinking? That she could make him more than he was?

She had already made him more than he ever dreamed he'd be. Loved, by a woman like her. Thoughts of revenge against her cla.s.s had faded beside the wonder of her love. He'd judged all by the actions of one man. Anne had shown him there was goodness still left in the world, kindness to be found from others, never mind if they lived in a grand house or a stable.

Through her, he had felt hope. Hope that he might rise above who he was and be a better man. Now he knew being a better man had nothing to do with what side of the blanket he was born on or where he called home. But he learned these lessons too late. Now he was not even a man. He was something else.

Merrick stared down at Anne, standing with her blanket draped around her, chin held high. Even without her fine clothes and her fancy manners, she was a lady through and through. His mother would have liked her. And Anne was right. It was his cursed pride that made him less than he could be. It had always been his pride.

”What would you have me do, Anne?”

Her eyes softened. ”I want you to marry me, Merrick. I want you to go to your half brothers and speak to them about what has happened to you. If they invite you into their lives, then you must accept and claim them as your kin. Just as I will.”

He took a deep breath. His pride was a hard thing to set aside, but for her he would. ”If that is your wish, Anne. For you, I will surrender my pride. For you, I will do anything.”

Her face seemed to light from within. Her smile nearly blinded him. She started to reach for him, but the pain suddenly came upon Merrick again. He doubled over. He placed his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. The next pain sent him to the ground.

”Merrick!”

Anne's voice came to him from a long way off. Sweat beaded his brow. This could not be happening. It was the light of day, not night, with a full moon hanging in the sky. Could this curse be something that grew stronger daily? Would he soon cease to be a man altogether?

”Merrick!”

He felt Anne's hand upon his shoulder and twisted away from her. ”Don't, Anne,” he warned. ”Stay back. It's happening again.” His eyes frantically searched the camp. ”The pistol, Anne! Where is it?”

”I won't use it. I don't need it,” she said, bending down beside him. ”I trust you, Merrick. You still haven't learned to trust yourself.”

She was vulnerable. She did not even have her clothing to protect her from his teeth, his claws, should he attack her. Trust was easy enough when he had control of himself, but when the animal took him...

”Where is the pistol?” he repeated, another sharp pain cutting into his stomach.

She didn't answer, but her eyes moved toward the pack at the base of the tree where she'd spread their bedrolls for the night.

Merrick staggered to his feet and toward the pack. Anne was on his heels and they both grabbed for the pack at the same time.

”No, Merrick!” she sobbed.

He pushed her away and reached into the pack, removing the pistol. The pistol was cold in his hand and he shook so badly he wondered if he could c.o.c.k and shoot it. d.a.m.n if he would live his life as an animal. He steadied the gun, stared down the long,

smooth barrel; then his gaze lifted to Anne. Her beautiful eyes were awash with tears, pleading, loving. She held out a hand to him.

”Don't do this to me,” she whispered. ”If you take your life, you take mine.”

He hesitated.

”Trust in yourself, Merrick,” she said. ”Trust in me.”