Part 35 (1/2)

small waist, he wanted to teach her far more than just to ride bareback. Her lips were innocent last night. Lush and ripe and he

thought she might have never been kissed before. At least not properly.

He lifted her easily and she scrambled into the saddle. Merrick walked around her and mounted the black. Like thieves, they rode quietly from the stable, only daring to pick up their pace once they'd gone a distance from the house.

Finding the meadow again, Merrick drew the black to a halt, dismounted, and went around to a.s.sist Lady Anne. She came into his arms perhaps more easily than was wise, then stood before him, staring up. The moonlight bathed her lovely features in soft white light. Her eyes sparkled and her hair hung down her back almost to her hips. He ached inside just looking at her. Ached as he had never ached before. Wanted as he had never wanted before.

”You're so beautiful,” he said, staring down at her. ”You turn a man's mind to mush and make him forget his promises.”

The smile hovering about her lush lips faded. She met his stare and he thought he saw the same hunger he felt staring back at him from her warm brown eyes. Then she shook her head as if to clear it. ”You gave me your word. Was I a fool to trust you?”

So it would seem. Merrick had never been subtle about his wants and desires. ”I want to kiss you again.”

Even in the darkness, he saw color creep into her cheeks. ”Then I should demand that you take me back to the stable and end

this fool's errand.”

He agreed, but his desire to know her more intimately kept him from saying so or doing what he knew would be best.

”Why do you think doing something you dream of is foolish, Anne?”

Anne had expected him to either try to kiss her or take her back to the stable. She was surprised that instead of doing either,

he'd asked her a question and seemed genuinely interested in her answer. She wasn't used to anyone really caring about her feelings. She wasn't used to anyone really caring about her. Oh, she liked to fool herself into believing her aunt and uncle simply had trouble displaying affection, but she knew that was not the case. And she somehow blamed herself for being unlovable.

”What difference does it make if I learn to ride bareback, or if I ride astride?” she said with a shrug. ”Neither are subjects I can discuss with anyone. Neither are skills I can show to anyone. And neither are certainly accomplishments my aunt and uncle would be proud of.”

His warm hands closed around her shoulders. ”Have you never done anything just for yourself? Just because it pleases you, and to h.e.l.l with everyone else?”

Nothing except her riding, and ladies were certainly known to enjoy a good jaunt, if few might admit they had an interest in all that Anne was interested in. Breeding, racing, all things related to horses. There were men who loved such things, as well, but so far, she hadn't met one who she thought would understand her own love of them.

”It would be different if I were a man,” she explained. ”Because I am a woman, I must be pleasing. I must be kind and considerate to others. I must want what all young women of my station want. To dream of doing or being something other than what is expected is foolish.”

He pulled her closer. ”It is never foolish to have dreams of your own. For some of us, that's all we can have. And why do you seem resentful of your life when it seems to me that you have everything?”

”Not everything,” she argued, then realized she was revealing too much about herself to him. How pathetic she would sound if she told him she did not have the one thing she wanted most in life. To be loved. Just for herself. ”But I sound shallow and unappreciative,” she added, lowering her gaze. ”You must understand that all that is really expected of me is to make a good match. To be pleasing so that a man will want to marry me. It's a woman's place to make her husband's life comfortable. To bear his children and run his home. At least it is that way for women of my station.” Oddly enough, Anne's guardians had not pushed her to marry, had not seemed concerned over her lack of suitors even though Anne was nearly twenty-one.

Merrick suddenly released her and turned his back. ”I see what you're saying. I suppose women of my cla.s.s can only aspire to bear a man of your cla.s.s's b.a.s.t.a.r.ds and hope he doesn't die and leave them and the children to scavenge for themselves.”

Anne realized she had been insensitive. She must sound like a total ninny to him, whining about her privileged life. ”I'm sorry,” she whispered. ”Is that what happened to your mother?”

He turned back to her. ”We didn't come here to talk about me. I thought we came so you could dare to do what you've been wanting to do. If you don't have the spine for it, let's go on back. Some of us cannot sleep the day away when we've stayed out too late the night before.”

She had wounded him. She had stirred resentment in him. Anne hadn't meant to do either. But he was right. She'd been given this one opportunity to do something just for herself. Merrick had given her the opportunity, and however wrong it was, she couldn't help but come close to loving him for it.

”All right,” she said. ”Enough talk about matters neither of us can control. Tell me what to do.”

Merrick stared at her a moment longer and Anne was afraid he'd changed his mind. Then he sighed and moved past her to unsaddle Storm. Once he'd laid the saddle and blanket upon the ground, he swung up easily onto the mare's back.

”Watch me first,” he said. ”You have to hold on with your legs. Press them good and tight against the horse's sides. Like so.”

Anne watched as he took the horse around in a circle. He walked the mare first, then nudged her into a trot, and then a gallop. Watching him made Anne feel odd again. All achy and feverish, as if she'd come down with an illness. Regardless of his bloodline, Merrick, with no last name, was quite something to look at. Again, Anne couldn't help but feel as if she had seen him somewhere before. Perhaps in her dreams.

Storm was known to be headstrong at times, but Merrick commanded her far better than Anne ever had, and the horse seemed to sense he was a man who would brook no nonsense from her. Anne wondered if he handled all females the same way.

”Are you ready to try now?”

”Yes,” Anne answered. ”But I believe you make it look much simpler than it is.”

He drew the mare to a halt beside Anne, threw one leg over, and easily slid to the ground. ”You'll do fine,” he a.s.sured her.

”You'll do fine because it's something you want to do. Maybe something you have to do.”

Suppression and being a female born in a man's world went hand in hand together. Anne was used to suppressing her wants, her desires, her dreams, even her thoughts. She'd never met a man who encouraged a woman to be daring. It was a refres.h.i.+ng change for her.

”I'll help you up, since you have no stirrups,” he said, and bent, folding his hands into a makes.h.i.+ft step.

Anne placed her hand upon his shoulder, feeling the sinewy muscles beneath his s.h.i.+rt. She put a booted foot in his hands and he hefted her easily up onto the horse's bare back.

”Remember to grip her with your legs,” he instructed, and Anne tried not to blush in the moonlight.

Legs and gripping anything with them would be considered vulgar for a man to discuss in the presence of a lady. Recalling she

wore men's clothing, Anne decided tonight that neither was she a lady nor was Merrick a gentleman. She nodded and took the

reins draped across Storm's neck.

Anne started out slowly, getting used to the feel of the horse beneath her without a saddle. She walked Storm in a circle a few times before she felt confident enough to nudge her into a trot. The uneven gait nearly unseated Anne and she urged the mare into a smoother gallop.

”You're a fast learner,” Merrick called. ”You're doing fine.”