Part 2 (2/2)

...and when he arrived at Magical College, the head sorcerer shook him by the hand and said, 'Robert Watson! This is such an honour. I know you're going to be naturally talented at absolutely everything. Because you're special.'

'Or we could go back to your mum's, if you want,' said the Doctor, and Rose couldn't help thinking he sounded unenthusiastic.

'I told her we'd be back for tea,' she said. 'We could do something until then. I know there's not time to save the whole world, but if we can find something smaller that needs saving, like a village or something, we could probably manage that.'

'So saving you from a knife*wielding thug doesn't count as my good deed for the day?' he asked.

'Yeah, I never got that,' said Rose. 'How Scouts and Brownies and stuff only had to do one good deed a day. I mean, if they, I don't know, saw someone drowning, but they'd already helped an old lady across the road, would they let them sink?'

The Doctor grinned. 'Yeah, the Scout law's really strict on that sort of thing. ”You will do exactly one good deed a day and no more.” If they accidentally did an extra good deed, they'd have to go and kick a puppy or something to balance it out, or they wouldn't be allowed to go camping.'

She thought for a moment. 'Did you have stuff like that?' she asked, genuinely curious. 's.p.a.ce Scouts, or something.'

He nodded. 'Oh yeah. I got merit badges in time travel, monstrithology, interfering in the destinies of planets and cookery.'

'Monstrithology?'

The Doctor grinned. 'Monster spotting. Or, I might've just made it up.'

They carried on down the road. There were all these posters, all along the street, all these giant porcupines wanting you to buy stuff and get free prizes.

'It looks so cheap,' said Rose. 'They've not even got proper posters done, it's just photos of people dressed up as porcupines.'

The Doctor walked up to a poster on the side of a phone box, so his nose was inches away. He was staring at it hard.

'If you're wondering why we still have phone boxes when everyone's got mobiles these days, I don't know,' Rose said. She reached into her pocket, to make the point. Her phone wasn't there.

'It's probably for daft people who leave their phones at their mum's,' said the Doctor, still staring at the poster. 'Come on, we're going into town.'

'Why?'

'Monstrithology. I want to find out how it's possible for a human to fit inside a costume like that. See the wrists? And the knees? I'd have said it couldn't be done.'

Rose almost jumped into the air. 'So it's aliens? Aliens taking over the planet via shopping?'

The Doctor shrugged. 'Don't have to be trying to take over the planet, just cos they're aliens. I'm not trying to take over the planet. The Cookie Monster isn't trying to take over the planet. Well, not the bits which don't involve cookies.'

She gave him a look. 'Cookie Monster is a puppet.'

He just smiled knowingly.

'He's got someone's hand up him and some bloke does his voice!'

The Doctor smiled again. 'You humans are so gullible.'

'You mean he's really an alien? Cookie Monster?'

Now the Doctor laughed. 'You humans are so so gullible!' gullible!'

A bus was drawing up to the kerb just ahead. The Doctor grabbed Rose's hand and they ran for it, leaping on just as it was pulling away again. The driver glared at them, especially when he found out the Doctor actually wanted to pay money for a ticket. He didn't notice that the travel card Rose waved at him had run out a year before.

'I'm such a criminal,' she said, swinging into a seat.

'Yeah, well, don't expect me to pay your bail,' the Doctor replied.

'So, are they really aliens?' she whispered, leaning in close so the nosy old biddies in the seat in front couldn't hear. They'd given Rose and the Doctor disapproving looks as they'd jumped on board; Rose wasn't sure if it was because the bus had already been moving or because they thought the Doctor was 'old enough to be her father' and didn't think much of that. Probably the latter. She felt like shouting at them, 'So, how d'you know he's not my father then?'

'I don't know,' he answered. 'Might be. Probably just a dodgy picture, Photoshop or something.'

'Oh,' she said. 'That seems like cheating, somehow. Anyway, where are we going?'

'Bit of shopping, bit of monster spotting...'

'Just in case?'

'Just in case.'

The Percy Porcupine booth was right slap bang in the middle of the high street, covered in posters. 'I wonder if aliens bother with getting planning permission,' said Rose. 'That could be a clue.'

There was a little queue outside the booth, a couple of people, tickets in hand. The Doctor and Rose joined the line, and watched the winners hold up their tickets to a little panel with a red light on it. The light went green as the first person was bleeped into the booth, and the door slid closed behind them. The light turned red again.

'Pretty elaborate security for a lottery thing,' Rose said. 'Or maybe they just don't want people stealing the prizes. Or they're expecting the games consoles to break down and don't want to have to deal with a load of irate computer geeks.'

'Anyway, looks like you need a winning card to get in,' said the Doctor. 'It's like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Charlie and the Chocolate Factory all over again.' all over again.'

The first man came out, a boxed*up games console in hand. The door slid back decisively behind him. The second queuer, a woman, held up her ticket. The Doctor and Rose sidled close, and the woman frowned. 'Excuse us,' said the Doctor, giving her a charming smile, 'we just wanna...'

But she'd nipped through the opening door, and it slammed shut behind her before the Doctor could even get a foot in the gap.

'We'll just wait here till she comes out,' said the Doctor, poised ready to dive in.

'And how are you going to explain this if they aren't aliens?' asked Rose.

'Won't have committed any crime,' he said. 'I'll say I've got stuck on level six of Death to Mantodeans Death to Mantodeans and I'm desperate for some gaming hints.' and I'm desperate for some gaming hints.'

Something caught Rose's attention out of the corner of her eye. 'Hey, isn't that the woman who just went in?' she said.

The Doctor looked up. 'Yes!' he said, staring at the woman, who was walking away from them, carrying a box. 'I think it is.'

Rose was thinking hard. 'Then this proves it!' she said. 'They must be aliens. They're luring people into these little huts, then they're duplicating them, robots or something. That's why they're so security conscious! They don't want us to see the machinery!'

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