Part 4 (1/2)

Dropping my jacket, I take hold of her shoulders and bring her flush against me and feel her arms go around my waist. In my arms she sighs against me as I pull her even tighter into my embrace.

”Carla.” I close my eyes and breathe in her scent, thankful that I can have these five minutes with her. I caress up and down her back feeling her quiver under my hands as her hand starts to caress south down my back. Having her hands on me has me rock hard, which I'm positive she can feel and with her hand caressing over my a.s.s, my c.o.c.k jumps as I hear her moan. I catch my breath.

”Sebastian, why does this feel so good? Being in your arms. Never wanting to let go.” Pulling away abruptly, Carla picks her jacket from the floor, looks at my groin before turning away with a flush along her beautiful cheekbones. ”I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry, but I need to leave.”

I reach out and take hold of her arm, preventing her from slipping away. ”You didn't say anything I wasn't thinking. Don't be embarra.s.sed Carla. I'm not sure what we're going to do about this thing between us, but we can't just ignore it. Not anymore a please Carla. Let me talk to my brother. You can't be in love with him when we have, whatever this is.”

Pain fills her eyes and her lips go tight fighting the emotions overcoming her as she replies, ”We have to ignore it.” Breaking free of my hand, she gives me one last, heart wrenching glance before she races from the room.

What the f.u.c.k!

Without another thought, I grab my jacket and storm out the door just missing Ramon, who looks surprised before I ignore him and walk out onto the back porch to try and catch my breath. Resting my arms on the porch railing, I breathe deeply as I hear the door open behind me.

”I'm not going to ask what that was about, but we're heading out so I'll catch you later,” Ramon says to my back.

I glance over my shoulder and meet his worried eyes, ”Okay.”

He doesn't move and continues watching me. ”Are you okay?”

”I will be.”

Chapter 9.

Carla Ramon has been acting weird ever since we left his parents' house. Usually we'd talk or listen to music, but neither of these things took place on the way home tonight. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's sulking.

Why he'd be sulking was anyone's guess because the day has been good and I thoroughly enjoyed the time with the women when Lily was opening her 'naughty' presents, which the guys couldn't stop looking at. Ramon seemed to enjoy being with his family, but at the end, as we were leaving he seemed in a funk and hasn't snapped out of it now that we're home.

Even now, I can hear him slamming around in the kitchen. Loud thumps as he closes cupboards, bangs as he sets things down on the counter top and crashes as he moves around the room. I wince with each noise, a headache slowly building. Okay, enough is enough.

Walking out of my room and towards the kitchen, I stand in the doorway and watch him as he slams around the kitchen. It takes a few minutes before he sees me. He stops and stares at me with what I'd call a guilty look on his face.

”What's happened Ramon? You were fine at your parents' house. Have I done something?”

He looks away and won't make eye contact with me before turning his back and leaning against the counter. ”What's going on between you and my brother?”

I'm stunned. I shouldn't be, but I am. That was the last thing I expected him to ask me. ”I don't know what to say.” Taking a seat at the breakfast bar to the side of me, I rest my elbows on the counter top with my face in my hands.

Before I even realize it, Ramon is standing in front of me and peeling my hands away from my face. As I look at him leaning over the breakfast bar towards me, he doesn't look angry, he looks...resigned.

”Carla...I'm not angry with you. I am with Seb, but not you. You know this thing between us, which we're showing to the world, isn't happening, but he doesn't and he's coming on to you as my girlfriend and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel.”

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck in agitation. ”Sebastian is my brother and if I thought he was looking at you as the next notch on his bed post then I'd be p.i.s.sed as h.e.l.l, but he isn't. He says he hasn't been with anyone for five months, which was when he first met you, and I believe him.” He grins. ”You have my brother tied in knots...I was debating letting him know we're just friends to put him out of his misery, but I think he needs to suffer some more for poaching what he believes to be mine.”

Unbelievable, I sigh inwardly. There isn't any jealousy, just simply sibling rivalry. ”You wouldn't hold me to my promise to act as your girlfriend? Why? You told me that you needed me to pretend for twelve months. Why the change of heart?”

My mind is whirling with panic at the thought of not being his 'pretend' girlfriend anymore. Will he ask me to leave? Surely he won't. He knows I have nowhere else to go.

”Carla, please calm down.” His gaze searches my face and softens with rea.s.surance. ”No matter what happens about our agreement this is your home for as long as you want it to be, okay? The only way you will leave is if you want to, not because I've asked you to. That will never happen.” He pauses. ”So there is something between you and Sebastian?” He raises an eyebrow.

A heated blush fills my cheeks and for a moment, I think of lying to Ramon, but we've never lied to each other. Finally I say, ”He makes me feel things I've never felt before. He frightens me with what he makes me feel. We haven't exchanged bodily fluids a yet, but I'm frightened if I keep seeing him we will and I don't know what to do about it.”

I turn into Ramon and stare into his eyes to show him that I'm committed to my promises. ”I promised you I would see the twelve months out, but it's getting harder every time I see him. I know he's struggling as well because you're his brother and he feels like he's betraying you.” I swipe at a loose tear as it runs down my cheek, which Ramon follows with his eyes.

”I'm sorry Carla. I had no idea any of this would happen when I asked you to help me out,” he apologizes as he takes the seat next to me and starts to rub my back in a soothing motion.

”Can I ask you a question and get an honest to G.o.d's answer?” I watch him closely for his reaction while I sit up and secure my hair into a band at the back of my head. I could do with a shower as well, but that will have to wait.

”I guess,” he agrees on a sigh as he watches me nervously.

”Why did you want me to act as youra” I raise my hand to keep him quiet as he opens his mouth, ”girlfriend? At the time I thought it was to explain your reason for me living with you and also to protect me if Gary showed up to finish what he started in Canada, but every now and again I get the feeling there's something you're not telling me.”

His hands slip from my back where they have stopped their comforting circle. Instead, they move to his neck where he uses both hands to rub at it, a sign that he's uncomfortable. ”My parents.”

He lets out a heavy sigh then laughs before looking back at me. ”Or rather my Mom. She wants all her sons married and to supply her with grandbabies. She's been even worse since Michael and Lily tied the knot. It's not that easy for me. My life isn't really what my parents would want for me or rather my choice in life partner.”

Life partner? Life partner? Is he admitting to what I've suspected all along?

How do I ask? Because I think I need it spelling out to me.

”Um, Ramon,” G.o.d this is difficult, ”Noah's gay,” I blurt out to a stunned Ramon who after a minute starts laughing. ”Are you?” Well, that shuts him up.

”f.u.c.k. Yeah,” he whispers so seriously. ”You might as well know, I'm gay,” Ramon chokes out, leaving the kitchen and moving into the attached living room. He collapses on to the sofa.

I watch Ramon for a few minutes then slip from the stool and walk over to him, taking the seat beside him. I rest my head on his shoulder as he wraps his arm around me and pulls me into him.

Cuddling against his chest, I ask, ”Why can't you tell them Ramon? They're your family and love you. It might take a short while, but they'll come around.” I squeeze his waist in rea.s.surance, ”You may have to put up with your brothers being an a.s.s, but at the end of the day, you're from a close-knit family and whatever happens with your announcement everything will work out with them eventually. You must know that?”

He kisses me on the head. ”It isn't that easy. I'm a grown man and kept it from them for years, since I was nineteen. So for eleven years, I've been lying to my family.”

I push myself up slightly from his chest to meet his eyes. ”Ramon, you haven't really lied. All you've done is kept it to yourself. Wait a minute. I've seen you with Sylvia. Whenever she walks in a room your whole body reacts...and don't tell me otherwise because I've seen you on more than one occasion.”

Ramon pulls me back down to him before he answers. ”You're right. I'm not sure what's going on with her. I feel a connection, but it scares the s.h.i.+t out of me. I've never been in a relations.h.i.+p with a woman and I'm not sure I'm capable of being in one. I've been with women, more than I care to admit, usually with another guy present,” he says with a shaky laugh. ”s.h.i.+t, I can't believe I've just admitted that to you.”

”It was probably easier than you thought it would be considering I know what you and Noah used to get up to.”

”Yeah, he told me he talked to you about everything, although he did say you had no idea he was bis.e.xual.”

I chuckle into his chest. ”I wasn't born yesterday and read between the lines. I spent more time wondering than I did actually knowing though...I won't say anything to anyone Ramon, that's for you when you're ready.”

”G.o.d, I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready for that.”

”Ramon?”